International Elimination of Violence Against Women

Rule Number 1: Never sit in the front of a cab.

I broke the rule; that was just the first one that night. Initially, it seemed like my only option. There was a slightly older woman in the back and as I waved down this cab, she showed no signs of budging to give me room. I broke the rule thinking, “Oh, well… I don’t want to seem rude to her and move her over and its not like I am completely alone with the driver.” In situations like that, take the extra moment to be rude…even if its in the middle of heavy traffic and the world around you doesn’t want to wait.

After a very short ride, he let the back-passenger out. At this point, I should have moved to the back.

Rule 1b: Never sit in the front; especially if you are alone.

Yet again, I stayed put thinking, “My destination is less than 5 minutes away, why bother?” In situations like that, always bother.

I was aware now though, that I was alone. I started making du’a that the journey would end safely and that I wouldn’t regret my poor judgment. He picked up another young woman passenger and she joined us in the back. I was relieved to have her there, although I was unnerved when she began humming songs and giggling flirty with the driver.

She was also let out just down the street. It seemed like my destination was further than I thought, or he was taking more back roads which I had never seen. This was common, because you can never see all the streets and know all the roads that lead to your destination. However, veering away from the main roads with bright lights and swarms of people made me tense up even more. I continued to pray and hope that nothing horrible would happen. We pulled up to my destination, a large shopping mall on a busy night. The hustle, crowd, and lights…calmed me and I quickly took out my wallet from my backpack in front of me to pay him. I even opened up my door.

Rule 2: Get out of the car and THEN pay the driver.

Suddenly I felt a hand in my lap. He was reaching into my backpack trying to dig out anything valuable. He pulled out my mobile phone and realizing I caught him, hid it in his side. I was flustered and said, “That’s mine.”

He argued.

I told him to give it back.

He refused. I wanted my phone. He glared back at me and said, “Get the **** out.”

I wouldn’t get out…my mobile phone was the only connection I had to anyone there, or back home. He insisted I get out by pushing me out the door. Where was my pepper spray?!? I stayed put and now at a total loss for words and weapons, I did the only thing I knew how: scream. Whether or not it was sensible, it was most definitely audible. People from all directions and across the median from busy traffic, came running towards the cab. He was pushing me harder to get out, but I kept screaming until I almost tore apart my vocal cords. Then, as suddenly as it began, he threw the phone at me.

I was surprised, grabbed it and jumped out. He shut his door and sped away.

“Wait,” I thought, “I didn’t give you the fare…”

All the people that had gathered, looked concerned and worried. An older woman approached me and although I had been very composed during the ordeal, I now could hardly hold myself up and needed to cry. I leaned against a parked car and gasped for air. The worried faces got even more worried as they saw me break down. Sharing that incredibly intimate moment with 50 strangers was another first of the night.
I mumbled, “I’m okay.” I realized they might think he sexually abused me. So, I said again, sobbing, between gasping breaths, hoping to preserve my dignity, “I’m okay… he didn’t hurt me. He tried to steal my phone and he pushed me. ” They all seemed a bit more relieved. A young man came running up to us, pushing through the crowd, “I have his license plate number! Do you want it?”

It was such a strange feeling hearing the question. There was recourse! Although I hated what had happened, I didn’t want to forget and hide. I felt bold and took down his license plate number. Pulling myself together, I took it down, thanked them for helping me and walked across the street to the mall. I walked away… although I broke some rules that night, he had no right to intrude on my property and space. No person has such right over others. However, I take personal responsibility because otherwise, how else could I even think this could be prevented? We must always take personal responsibility because that is empowering ourselves and taking control of our situations.

Women all around the world suffer from horrible acts of violence committed against them. Ones which they cannot walk away from. In 1999, the UN General Assembly designated 25 November as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Violence against women and girls is a problem of pandemic proportions. At least one out of every three women around the world has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime – with the abuser usually someone known to her.

Women’s activists have marked 25 November as a day against violence since 1981. The date commemorates the brutal assassination of the three Mirabal sisters, political activists in the Dominican Republic, in 1960 on orders of Dominican dictator Rafael Trujillo (1930-1961).

Governments, international organizations and NGOs are invited to organize activities on the day to raise public awareness of the problem. The International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women also launches the 16 Days of Activism against Gender Violence, which runs through 10 December, Human Rights Day.

Safety precautions and action items:

1. Arm yourself with knowledge of your surroundings. Memorize the du’as for leaving your home, traveling, and fear. Use as needed. Always be aware of where you are and who is around you. Make conscious choices and efforts to avoid suspicious streets and people. Trust your gut.

2. Literally arm yourself with legal devices to help you in a dangerous situation (pepper spray, safety whistle, self defense classes).

3. Travel in groups: especially when out in new or unfamiliar areas, and after dark. There is a reason they say there is power in numbers.

4. Read up on more simple safety tips in dangerous situations. We all believe it can’t happen to us, but it happens everyday.

5. Join the [16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence Campaign]