Four for Four: A Muslimah’s Guide to High School Survival

High school is an emotional and stressful time for everyone, but for a Muslimah, it’s more so. Here are just four tips to get you through those crucial four years of your life. As I’m writing this, I’m assuming that you go to a high school with a non-Muslim student and faculty majority.

1. Get Involved.

Dip your foot into everything your school has to offer. Join the service club, student council, yearbook staff, or theater. Play a new sport, or even take some atypical classes like another language, computer science, creative writing, or military history. If your school offers it, do it. Test yourself to your limits; if it gets too overwhelming, drop it, but only if it’s really too overwhelming. Remember: The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said: ‘Seeking knowledge is incumbent upon every Muslim.’ It is especially important for you as a Muslimah to keep yourself busy for many reasons:

1. You will always have a good excuse as to why you don’t go to parties and whatnot. This seems like a terrible reason to participate in activities, but it comes in handy.
2. Being involved with so many activities forces you to learn how to manage your time properly.
3. You will meet so many different types of people who will give you a glimpse of the real world while keeping you in your safe bubble.
4. You will learn so much about so many different things that you might never have thought you would enjoy. Hey, maybe you decide you actually like journalism class and want to pursue it in college. You’ll never know if you don’t try.

2. Don’t Socialize.

What?! Become a loner?? Yes. I’m completely serious. Speaking from my experience and others’, it is absolutely not worth it at all to deliberately go out and make friends. Be friendly, but not too friendly. Have a group you hang out with, but don’t go out of your way to hang out with them. Remember: In Surah Aal-Imran, Allah says: ‘Let not the believers take the disbelievers as Awliya (supporters, helpers) instead of the believers, whoever does that will never be helped by Allah in any way” (3:28). Here are some reasons why:

1. Your ‘friends’ will start doing things you don’t approve of (like dating, going to dances, drinking), and you’ll end up rejecting all their invitations anyway.
2. You’re a Muslimah. You wear long clothes in the summer and starve yourself for a month. You wear a towel on your head and you don’t touch boys. You’re weird. Face it, non-Muslims whom Allah hasn’t guided won’t truly understand you. But don’t fret; you don’t need them. Remember: The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) said: ‘Islam began as something strange, and it shall return to being something strange, so give glad tidings to the strangers.’
3. Non-Muslims really are too much of a distraction. Focus on your studies and you’ll find you won’t even have time for them.

3. Give Da’wah.

Whether you like it or not, you are an ambassador for our religion and it is your duty, as it is the duty of all Muslims, to educate your school community about Islam. Remember: In Surah An-Nahl, Allah says: ‘Invite to the Way of your Lord (ie. Islam) with wisdom and fair preaching, and argue with them in a way that is better. Truly, your Lord knows best who has gone astray from His Path, and He is the Best Aware of those who are guided’ (16:125). You’ll find that you’ll start learning more about your own deen and iman as you teach others about it. But for the real question, how you go about doing this:

1. If you’re not the only Muslim in your school, start a Muslim club or a high school chapter of the MSA. Check this out: http://www.msanational.org/files/matf/MSA_Guidebook-FINAL.pdf
2. Don’t be afraid to tell people you’re Muslim or to tell them about Islam. Let everyone know you only eat kosher not because you’re vegetarian, but because you’re Muslim. You don’t eat in Ramadan not because you’re not hungry, but because you are fasting. You wear loose, long clothes not because you’re perpetually cold, but because your God told you to. Be PROUD to be Muslim, and don’t hide behind the cultural taboo of speaking about religion.
3. Spark assemblies and interfaith meetings, set-up display cases, invite Muslim speakers, host Fast-a-thons, do something! Believe me, with the help of Allah, anything is possible.

4. Become BFFs with your Teachers.

Okay, now you definitely think I’m nuts. First I tell you not to make friends with your peers, but then I tell you to make friends with your teachers?! Yes, because trust me, the better the relationship you have with your teachers, the more helpful they can be to you’it’s kind of the exact opposite of your classmates. Remember: In Surah Az-Zumar, Allah says, ”Say: ‘Are those who know equal to those who know not?’ It is only men of understanding who will take heed’ (39:4). I’m not saying you should all be brown-nosers or suck-ups, I’m just telling you to milk your teachers for all they’re worth. So, what are they worth?:

1. They have a tremendous wealth of knowledge about not just the topic they teach, but about life. Ask them for advice. The more you go to them for help, the more they’ll want to help you.
2. You’ll get brownie points, big time. Teachers are humans too, and they like to be treated like that. Besides, you might learn something new on the way.
3. They control your grades. If you go to a big public school where it’s easy to get lost in the crowd, that’s exactly what you’ll be: lost in the crowd. You want your teachers to be able to attach the name on your paper to your face, and hanging out with them is the best way to do this.
4. College recommendations! Enough said.

Insha’Allah, I hope you find this article beneficial for your high school career. If I have said anything correct it is only from the grace and mercy of Allah (SWT), and if I have said anything incorrect, I ask you to forgive me for it is only from my own shortcomings and ignorance.

Aatifa Shareef

Aatifa just graduated from The Columbus Academy in Gahanna, OH. She was an editor of her high school yearbook, The Caravel, and a chair of the Muslim Enrichment Club of Columbus Academy (MECCA). Insha’Allah, she will be attending Northwestern University in the fall.

Photo Credit: chrisbevan