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I’m a revert myself and while I used to wear hijab I have decided that it’s not for me. However, if I go to jummah prayer I wear hijab out of respect. If I go to a sisters nikkah I wear hijab out of sensitivity for my sister. This in no way makes me a hipocrite and I have nothing to hide. I feel it’s a shame that sisters who do not wear hijab often will keep their distance from the ummah. Our communities need to begin recognising more diversity and accepting it as well.

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Your post hit the ball out of the park!! It’s so refreshing to hear someone else voice the opinions not many Muslim women seem to express. May Allah swt reward you for your individuality. I haven’t read the other responses to your post, but I just want to say that independendent thinking does not make someone a bad Muslim. It should be congratulated.

All the best and feel free to drop me a line.

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I want to thank you for writing such a beautiful article. It is much appreciated. I’ve often noticed Muslim women being marginalized by their fellow Muslims just because they don’t wear hijaab. I’ve seen Muslims feeling as if they’re not welcomed in Mosques, MSA meetings, and Islamic conventions due to the judgmental behavior of certain Muslims. This really saddens me and although I’m not a woman, I found that I could really empathize with what you have written here.

There have been times when I’d be accused of “promoting haram” or “having a lack of understanding” about Islam just because I was speaking from a school of thought that was unfamiliar to them. Often times, I’ve noticed that when certain Muslims say “our Ummah is so disconnected,” they’re pretty much saying that “Muslims are divided, they need to more like US.” Rather than talking about uniting the Muslims DESPITE their DIFFERENCES, many seem too busy pointing out the flaws of “other Muslims.”

I don’t like the idea of myself being perceived as an “other Muslim.” I don’t like the fact that some Muslims speak to me as if I haven’t read the Qur’an, studied it (and continue to study it), studied Islamic history, theology, mysticism, and other interpretations like Shia and Sufi perspectives. Instead I get accused of trying to “change” Islam for “my own benefits” and “desires.” I find these responses to be very insulting and judgmental, especially when I make many efforts to understand my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters.

The message of Islam is UNITY. We need to open our arms to each other and discourage this “holier than thou” kind of behavior. The best example for us to follow is the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, and he was a man who demonstrated true compassion and friendship to everyone. When he heard another man call someone a kafir, the Prophet said, “how do you know? Did you rip open his heart and look at what was in it?” The inward state of a human being is known to no one but Allah alone. Let’s leave it at that and stop judging.

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I think that if we are only afraid of sinning openly, then that falls under hypocrisy. The hijab is a very personal choice and NO ONE has a right to tell you that you are all of a sudden a horrible muslim for not putting it on. We have NO right to judge- for that is just ignorant- ignorant of you to think that you have the ability to do something that GOD has kept for the Day of Judgement.

If anything I think that MSAs or MSUs have a responsibility to make sure that everyone knows that they are welcome. We need to make sure that our organizations are not isolating at all- because the more people that we open our arms to, the more people that open their hearts to God.

I stopped practicing Islam for two years in fear of the fact that I was being hypocritical (praying when I was at a friends house and not when I was at home- talking to guys when I was in classes but not at MSA events) and its something that I struggled with for many years. Sadly I wasnt only avoiding Muslims, but it went to a much deeper level where I was avoiding God.

Today I question every action that I do and make sure that I am doing it for God and only for God.

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I might even start a website to take it apart and put it in it’s place.

Seriously.

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And if you avoid Muslims “like the plague,” reflect on this well known Islamic wisdom that we learn from the Sunnah, regarding our affair in the Hereafter… “You will be with those whom you love”

Now, ask yourself, whom do I want to be with in the Hereafter?… The “nice” disbelievers in the soup kitchen, or the “flawed” believers in the MSA? …And base your decisions in life on that, and that alone.

with love,
your sister in Islam

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