Sister Habibe is an ordinary heroine on many levels, masha’Allah. A few reasons:

1. She exemplifies sincerity and humility in her work. Without sincerity, our deeds will be worthless. A huge check of our intentions is: would we contribute to good work even if our name weren’t mentioned?

2. She is a Muslim woman whose character and compassion towards others speaks for itself. This is one of the truest forms of da’wah (calling to Islam) – when someone’s heart and limbs are aligned in service to Allah by means of serving His Creation.

3. When we seek to make a change in society, often we aim low. Often we doubt ourselves. Often we seek shortsighted changes. Masha’Allah sister Habibe thought in the long-term and developed an institution, Rahima Foundation. She is a true role model in developing a vision and following through with it, despite the many roadblocks that will inevitably come on one’s way.

Our dear Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wassalam) has said most wisely:

“The most beloved of people according to Allah is he who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds according to Allah the Mighty, the Magnificent, is that you bring happiness to a fellow Muslim, or relieve him of distress, or pay off his debt or stave away hunger from him. It is more beloved to me that I walk with my brother Muslim in his time of need than I stay secluded in the mosque for a month. Whoever holds back his anger, Allah will cover his faults and whoever suppresses his fury while being able to execute it, and Allah will fill his heart with satisfaction on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever walks with his brother Muslim in need until he establishes that for him, Allah will establish his feet firmly on the day when all feet shall slip. Indeed, bad character ruins deeds just as vinegar ruins honey.” (at-Tabarani)

May Allah (swt) bless and reward sister Habibe. And may He allow us to refine our characters, find our potential to serve Him in the best of ways and be a source of mercy to others, Ameen.

I demanded to know if this sister was doing all right, if she had considered calling the police or not and if my mom’s friend had ever thought to intervene.

“We can’t do too much,” she responded. “If we call the police, who knows? We might ruin their marriage for life.”

‘As if their relationship could even be called a marriage’, I thought. ‘I hope she gets help.’

What has changed is that in a scenario like that of my mom’s friend’s friend, I would not simply look at a woman and judge her for staying or not staying. I would not assume that there is no love between the couple or that they are facing bad times. However, I would know that there are many instances of underlying control, which is used by abusers to maintain their dominance in a relationship. I would not simply assume that the woman is weak and the man is strong (or in a different situation if the woman is the abuser, vice versa). Rather, there can be deeper issues of insecurity, unhealthy attachments, and a history of abuse within the individuals’ families.  What has indeed changed is that I would try to let the survivor know: you are not alone. It is not your fault. There is help available if you seek it.

What has, unfortunately, remained the same is the prevalence of domestic abuse in the larger community and specifically in our Muslim community. What has not changed is the ignorance and silence surrounding this issue. What has sadly not changed are myths surrounding abuse.

Abuse or assault is not an anger issue. It is an issue of control.

Abuse or assault is never the victim’s fault. It is always the fault of the aggressor.

What has remained the same since that scenario is that there is still silence and denial in the Muslim community that domestic violence and sexual assault exist. Just because we are striving to follow Islam, the beautiful religion of peace and submission to God, does not mean we as Muslims are perfect. On the contrary, abuse exists at the hands of even so-called ‘practicing’ Muslims.  Further, domestic abuse remains a taboo topic in society as a whole.  A woman in the United States is abused or raped every nine seconds, according to the American Medical Association.  Moreover, one in every four women has experienced abuse in their lifetime and one in every thirteen men have experienced abuse as well, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  If this traumatizing behavior exists at such a high rate, why are we still silent? Have we forgotten the Prophetic saying:

“Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Sahih Muslim)

We must remain vigilant of this issue, whether it is happening to us or whether it is happening to those around us. This involves breaking down myths.  One myth is that domestic abuse affects women only. This is not the case – men are affected too.  Another myth is that domestic abuse does not affect women who observe modest dress. This is not the case either.

So what can we do?

1. Never feel afraid to reach out, whether to a friend, family member, counselor or respected member of the community. If you feel an anonymous voice is better, local hotlines are available too.  On the other side of the coin, be a voice, be an ear, be aware of when abuse may be occurring in the community. It’s not your job to be Superman and ‘save’ the person; not at all, it is the individual’s choice and right to make a decision. But always leave the door of support open.
2. Educate ourselves about the signs of abuse and the cycle of violence. The Mayo Clinic lists a few key signs of abuse that are important to know and show that abuse is not only physical; it can also be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual.

3. Educate ourselves about the resources available in our communities. For instance, did you know that there are 24-hour crisis hotlines available? Did you know there is a wealth of knowledge out there, even grounded in Islamic perspectives?

4. Increase our reliance on and relationship with our Creator, Allah (swt). We will be rewarded for bearing this test, for our struggles, our patience and resilience. But our patience should not lead to inaction. Our reliance on God comes with the responsibility that we do what we can and Allah takes care of the result. But if we are not even trying to change our situation, remember: “Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Qur’an 13:11)

5. Remind ourselves of our self-worth. Allah created us to worship Him and to live healthy, fulfilling lives to the best of our abilities. Abuse does not come under those categories. Our guide and role model, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), never showed such behavior. Let us ask ourselves: are we better than the Prophet (pbuh) to think such behavior is acceptable?

6. Increase education and discussion on these topics in our community. What are our mosques and community centers doing about domestic abuse? Are there khutbahs (sermons) on this topic, even once a year?

7. Break the cycle of abuse by raising healthy and responsible children with secure attachments. Teaching respect, boundaries, tolerance and, most of all leading by an Islamic example of mercy, is crucial.

8. Support Muslim and non-Muslim initiatives to fight this societal evil. Support Muslimat al-Nisa (Baltimore, Maryland) or NISA (San Jose, CA) which are women’s shelters which are not receiving enough support from our communities.

9. Take this survey led by the Peaceful Families Project which measures attitudes on domestic violence within the Muslim community.

My friend had a very unique Facebook status: “Hurt people hurt people.” It resonated with me. And I wonder, what will I, what will we do, to make sure we can eliminate that hurt from our communities as best as we can? It starts with ourselves.

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: ‘Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed.’ A man asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I (know how to) help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?’ He (pbuh) said: ‘You can restrain him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him.’” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Resources
Commendable Domestic Violence Series at MuslimMatters.org
Peaceful Families Project: http://www.peacefulfamilies.org/resources.html
Domestic Violence National Hotlines and Resources: http://fmpac.org/911/crisis.html
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

Originally published at Al-Bayan

What makes a hero? Often we imagine heroes to have super-human qualities that set them apart from the rest of us. However, there are those amongst us who are heroes even though they may seem ordinary. There are such Muslim women who, with their passion and courage, inspire us towards greater heights.

Did you hear about the sister who home schools all her children while still making time to study the Qur’an? How about the sister who is blind but still managed to graduate from college? What about the sister who founded a non-profit organization serving orphans worldwide? Hearing a story humanizes particular issues for us and tells us: if she did it, why not me too?

Muslimah Source is starting a new article series celebrating the amazing accomplishments and struggles of such women. The goal of this series will be to learn about the experiences of actual Muslim women in the hopes that we as a society will appreciate them much more. By identifying them, we can support their efforts more and additionally can look up to them as modern day role models.

We hope you will enjoy this bi-monthly series and we welcome your contributions. Please email: info@muslimahsource.org to submit ‘Ordinary Heroes’ stories to be featured on the site.

For 14 years, Ms. Ramdas was the CEO and President of the Global Fund for Women (GFW), the world’s largest public institution devoted to women’s rights. More specifically, the GFW “promotes women’s economic security, health, education and leadership” by giving an average annual $8.5 million of grants to women-led initiatives in countries outside the United States.

Dressed in a simple shalwar khameez and with a thoughtful smile creased on her face throughout the talk, Ms. Ramdas exuded an aura of humility and genuineness.  Her semi-Indian accent reminded me of my South Asian roots and immediately provoked me to pay attention to her words, not as someone who seemed to want to impose her ‘first world’ knowledge on the ‘third world’ but rather, as an insider.

Ms. Ramdas provoked the audience to think about the feminization of poverty given the fact that women constitute “70% of the poor in the world.” The startling statistic makes one wonder: why, and what can be done? Given the tendency of policy makers and civil society alike to classify certain issues as women’s issues, Ms. Ramdas emphasized that she disliked the phrase “women’s issues” because when something affects half of humanity, it is hardly a matter of women only. Rather, it is a human issue.

Amidst these human issues, poverty, hunger and low levels of economic development are problems which plague many towns, states and countries alike. Even so, there is not one agreed upon definition of ‘development’. We as consumers of mass media have a stereotype that development must be new, measurable and sustainable with several institutions seeking to “alleviate poverty.”  Ms. Ramdas challenged the notion of “alleviating poverty”, however. Why not consider a revolution without our society aimed at ending poverty once and for all?

Ms. Ramdas later went on to share five touching anecdotes to illustrate why women’s empowerment is a key factor in ending poverty and bettering society. Consider these:  A women’s rights group in Togo is fighting for widows’ inheritance rights, another in the Hunan Province of China creating awareness about the negative impact of pesticides on women’s reproductive health, a group in Serbia working on anti-trafficking laws and initiating support groups for young women who have been raped, a Bolivian women’s group called ‘Mujeres Criando’ advocating for participation of women in the political arena and finally, in Lebanon, Palestinian refugee women encouraging their communities to talk more often about women’s issues. The beautiful similarity between these organizations is that they are all self-initiated, locally driven projects headed by local citizens and financially aided by organizations like GFW when the need arises.

Thus, the larger women’s movement across the world is comprised of local initiatives. Ms. Ramdas stated that for the success of this movement, local communities must identify their own issues and address them accordingly. GFW and other umbrella organizations can be helpful in linking different causes together because isolation, as Ms. Ramdas explained, is one of the worst barriers to women’s rights.  Movements for women’s rights have fared better when they have partnered with other calls for justice – for instance, women’s groups were supportive of the 1960’s Civil Rights Movement in the United States because the issue of human dignity was at the forefront there too.  Ms. Ramdas clarified that this movement doesn’t know any boundaries and holds very public and private spaces. For instance, she quoted an incident when someone asked Dr. Shirin Ebadi, Iranian Nobel Peace Prize Winner, if there is an actual women’s rights movement in Iran. Dr. Ebadi responded with conviction,  “I can assure you there’s a chapter in every household.”

As a Muslim woman, I appreciate Ms. Ramdas’ emphasis on calling for the dignity and rights of all women while strongly supporting local initiatives. She held contempt for the phrase “saving” be it “saving Africa” or “saving” a particular group of people.  Denying those individuals freedom to decide their destiny denies them an adequate role in their true empowerment. She cited a well-known example of particular governments and women’s rights group working to “save” or “liberate” Afghan women from the burqa (loose head and body covering). In fact, she said, many of these Afghan women might point fingers at the “liberators” claiming they themselves need to be “saved” from the mini-skirt.

In either case, women need to empower themselves and not be puppets of outside forces.  Overall her speech was very inspiring and a call to action. The one question I have for Ms. Ramdas and other women’s rights activists is: how does one define “women’s rights” in such a multifaceted world? Of course, the common linkage of human dignity and equality is present. However, across the world, one finds that societies differ in their perceptions on the role of women. I believe that as long as a model does not seem to hinder basic dignity, it is not the job of an outsider to impose one’s personal view of “women’s rights” on the other.  There exists only a fine line between seeking justice vs. imposing one’s ideology.

At the end of the day, it becomes clear that Muslim women have a unique voice to offer this women’s movement. We can start locally driven initiatives to combat injustices we see or hear, injustices that our religion of Islam wholeheartedly condemns. Muslim women can work with women (and men) on issues of poverty and justice in order to uplift humanity. One major way we can uplift ourselves is through education, considered in Islam to be a duty for each Muslim man and woman. Armed with knowledge of our faith, we can begin this work with good intentions and a simple questioning of status quo.  After her presentation, I introduced myself to Ms. Ramdas and told her I was part of a Muslim women’s organization, MuslimahSource. When I asked her for suggestions on taking our organization to a greater level, she mentioned that there have been Muslim women’s organizations in other countries too whose model we can study (for instance: Sisters in Islam in Malaysia).

At the end of the day, however, efforts will be local and we as Muslim women living all over the world should pay attention to local issues and get involved in any capacity possible.  We should trust in Allah (swt) because He is on the side of the one who seeks their rights. He is the Lord of men. And He is the Lord of women.

Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah often and the women who do so – for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a great reward. (The Holy Qur’an 33:35)

Photo Credits: subcomandata

I asked around and it looked like other sisters also had an interest in hiking, thank God! My friends and I gathered a few sisters, seven of us in total, and decided to climb one of the local mountains. Famous worldwide for its breathtaking panoramic view, Mount Diablo happened to be only half an hour from home. Two days before Ramadan, we thought Mount Diablo would be the perfect way to conquer the devil (diablo, in Spanish, means devil), our nafs (desires) and strengthen ourselves.

I packed numerous water bottles, a light lunch, Band-Aids, and Motrin, while the other sisters similarly packed granola bars, sunscreen and other essentials. Our aim was to each fundraise $50 each for the East Africa food crisis.  We started our ascent up the 3000+ feet mountain (6 mile loop up around and back down the mountain) around 9:45am and ended around 3pm.  At times in our journey, we faced heat and fatigue, feelings of giving up,  awe at the mind-boggling view, wonder at the variety of plants and creatures we saw and happiness through building sisterhood and remembering Allah swt, our Glorious Creator. This hike was nothing short of amazing. It was not only a hike. Rather, it turned out to be a metaphor for life, a teacher and a coach right before our marathon of Ramadan.

Here are a few lessons I learned with my sisters that can serve as guiding lights in life’s journey, too:

1) Purify your intentions. And when you stumble, renew your intentions again.

“Verily actions are by intentions.” (Bukhari)

My intention behind the trip was to grow closer to Allah by witnessing the majesty of His creation, praising Him for it, and secondly to build sisterhood. We were motivated by the thought of assisting a charitable cause. While reaching the summit was a clear goal, the other intentions far outweighed it in importance.

This intention-setting turned out to be very important when certain sisters felt extremely tired to continue. When we told one sister, “don’t worry, take your time,” when she was having difficulty keeping up with the rest, she asked, “but I’m holding you all back”. I remembered the intention and told her, “Today’s goal is about building sisterhood; the summit isn’t the main goal.”  This reminder on the hot day that we wanted to be shaded under Allah’s shade together because we loved each other solely for His sake turned out to be one of the most consoling things ever.

2) Remember the majesty of the Creator by appreciating His creation.

Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding. Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the earth, [saying], “Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire. (Qur’an 3:190-191)

Each time we saw a beautiful creation, we would say Subhan’Allah (far above is God from any imperfection/also translated Glory be to God). For every accomplishment, we would emit a sincere Alhamdulilah (All Praise be to God) from our tongues. Allahu akbar (God is Greater [than everything]) was similarly a common phrase throughout the day.  We also reflected on the meaning of the word ‘ayah’. Allah the Most High uses the word ‘ayah’ in the Qur’an to refer to verses of the Qur’an. But He also uses this same word to mean ‘sign’, for instance in His creation.  Several scholars have reflected on this not as a coincidence but as an encouragement. That when we see a beautiful creation of Allah, we should think about the message of the Qur’an. And when we read something striking in the Qur’an, we think about Allah’s creation.  For instance, when we were ascending up the majestic mountain (an ayah – a sign in creation of Allah), we reflected on the verse – the ayah – “If We had sent down this Qur’an upon a mountain, you would have seen it humbled and coming apart from fear of Allah.” (Qur’an 59:21)

3) God will guide you if you sincerely seek it. Keep going.

“Allah chooses for Himself whom He wills and guides to Himself whoever turns back [to Him]” (Qur’an 42:13)

There were moments in the hike when we were either completely exhausted or when we didn’t know which path to take next.  On many of these occasions, we came across kind-hearted fellow hikers who either reassured us with words such as “You’re almost there” or “The view is great”, or they guided us to take the right trail.  We felt like these people were similar to Angels that Allah sends to Messengers to guide them and grant them the correct message.  We smiled, appreciated them and continued on our path.

4) Take time to rest

We would never have been able to continue on the journey without rest stops. In these rests, we would breathe deeply (in from the nose, out through the mouth), hydrate ourselves, make du’a, smile or laugh together and regain our energy. Similarly, in the journey of life, we need to take a step back, rest and reflect, otherwise we will burn ourselves out.  That doesn’t mean we should get off of the straight path; rather, “there is a time for this, and a time for that” (Response of the Prophet peace be upon him when a man perplexedly told him that when the Companions left the Prophet’s company to be with their families, their iman would feel much lower).

5) Who and what you bring determines the outcome

The people we came with, first and foremost, were all excited to be in the outdoors together, striving for a common goal. They were all very encouraging and compassionate people who made the journey much easier. None of them were “Debbie Downers” or pessimists; we all shared a similar destination and reminded each other “towards truth and towards patience” (Qur’an 103:3). Thus, positive company is one of the most essential things one can bring on a hiking journey, or on the journey of life.

We carried lots and lots of water as well as healthy snacks.  A few of the sisters brought dates and fruits such as figs and cherries. We all reflected on the wisdom of the Prophet, peace be upon him’s, Sunnah (example). He encouraged the eating of dates and even today, we continue this practice knowing how beneficial it is. Some nutrition experts even call the combination of dates and water akin to a natural Gatorade. In short, we can never go wrong with natural, healthy options as encouraged by the Prophetic way.

When we aspired to keep walking despite steep elevations, we appreciated the maxim: “Pack lightly.” Not only would a heavy load tire us along the way, but also most extra items we kept were not even really needed.  Similarly, in life, we should remember to pack lightly, taking only the essentials (the most important being good deeds).  As the Prophetic saying goes, “Live in this life as a traveler or stranger” (Bukhari). What good will the accumulation of material things actually bring to us in the long run? Let’s reflect if the extra purse, car, vacation home or technological gadget is something we truly need. “Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you. Until you visit the graveyards.” (Qur’an 102:1-2)

6) Turn your hobbies into continuous good deeds

“The best deeds are those which are consistent even if they are small.”[Bukhari]

With a good intention, even a mundane act can turn into an act of worship. Similarly, with the right goals in mind, one can find joy and meaning in a hobby. We sisters want to continue hiking in order to reflect and come closer to Allah, become active people to serve Him and do good deeds, and build sisterhood. So this effort doesn’t die down, we decided to start a small institution, the “Bay Area Sisters’ Hiking Club” (BASHC) where we hope to complete a group hike every other month in the year.  Point: if you have a hobby or daily routine, spice it up with a cool intention and continue doing it. Find like-minded people to keep you motivated so the activity continues.

7) When you feel like giving up…

Remember Allah who will keep you going. Keep your mind on your goal and on your intention, coupled with sincere remembrance of Him. Say “Astaghfirullah” and really mean it by pondering about your sins, regretting them and deciding not to do them again. Say “Alhamdulillah” and truly feel the happiness, which comes from receiving all the blessings from Allah. Remember how far you’ve come. When we felt like resting a really long time and felt discouraged, we looked at the path we came already. Realizing we had traversed most of the distance already, we were more motivated to continue.   This advice can similarly apply on the journey of life. What should someone do if they feel discouraged?  Pick yourself up and try again.  Get back on the straight path.  Call out to Allah.  Seek help in patience and prayer.  Remember, getting on the path requires a little bit of effort, but as long as you’re on it finally, Allah will keep you going insha’Allah. Relating it back to Ramadan, ‘what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger’.  Remember this will pass and you will develop endurance that you will only appreciate later.

The feeling we had when we reached the summit of the mountain relieved any pain we had felt. In fact, that very struggle, soreness and fatigue tasted sweet.  We felt as though we were standing at the top of the world, as Mount Diablo offers a beautiful view far-reaching to the human eye.  Similarly, in the journey of life, we will experience turmoil.  But remember, this life is not everything. Insha’Allah (God willing) when we take our first steps into Jannah (Paradise), all that hardship will have been worth it.

It’s beautiful how an activity as simple as hiking can reveal deeper meanings and wisdoms about life.  As someone once said, “The entire world is nothing more than meaning set up in images.”  May Allah help us decipher the meaning behind all things and activities, big or small, allowing us to come closer to Him as a result, Ameen.

Photo courtesy: jdnx ; Golden Gate Photo; Rick Rodriguez

By Asiyah A. and Zahra M.

I used to hate my self and my body, and for a long time I worked very hard to change it. Then, my efforts started making me sick. I still hated myself, but I just could not keep hurting myself, so I searched for a new way. Now, with Allah’s help, I am learning to take care of myself and love the body Allah has given me. It is often hard, but I know that I am beautiful just the way Allah made me. – MSA sister

According to Stephen Hinshaw, PhD, author of The Triple Bind, today’s women are expected to meet far too many standards. Women are expected to be good at traditional “girl stuff” (such as empathy, good listening skills, nurturing), most of the traditional “guy stuff” (competitiveness, aggressiveness, career-orientedness), while also conforming to a too-narrow, unrealistic view of what it means to be a woman (model-thin and ‘hot’). This “triple bind” offers fewer alternatives for what it means to be a beautiful, confident woman then ever before in American history and can be an important factor in explaining why in America about 20 percent of girls aged 10-19 experience episodes of minor depression, almost 5 percent of teenage girls and young women suffer from an eating disorder, such as anorexia, bulimia or binge eating, and in 2005, about one-tenth of all teenage girls had attempted suicide. Self-mutilation is on the rise and self-esteem is plummeting. Muslim women are not above these statistics.

Muslim American women face many of the same expectations and ideals—but their cultures and religion add a different flavor to their understanding of womanhood and body image. Muslim women at UC Berkeley were anonymously surveyed about self-esteem and body image. 41 women participated and responses varied widely. However, there were a few themes: a comfort and conviction in the belief in inner beauty, a focus on modesty, and a supporting sisterhood. The majority of sisters seemed content with their bodies and displayed adequate self-esteem, but most women admitted that media and society’s standards negatively impacted their body image and self-esteem. Most also reported that they did not focus on proper eating habits and exercise as much as they would like. While many sisters expressed that they did not see their bodies as objects for public consumption, a lot expressed their desire to be married in the future and to be beautiful for themselves and their future spouse.

The most empowering stories came from sisters who have been encouraged by their family and accepted by other sisters as community. Being able to identify with a larger cause and purpose (pleasing God, Islam) seemed to correlate with less emphasis on outward beauty and less self-consciousness. As one sister says, “All the sisters are always reassuring and always complimenting you…that really brings my self-esteem up.” Another mentioned that, “Islam has allowed me to celebrate being a woman through modesty and self respect. It has shown me that your body has the right to be taken care of and is beautiful…Beauty is the noor (light). The goodness that radiates off of you.”

Some suggestions for improving self-esteem and body image were: talking about subjects like exercise, sexuality, media pressures and nutritious lifestyle choices such as healthy cooking in an Islamic framework; complimenting one another more, especially on good character; avoiding backbiting others; encouraging Muslim men to rise above shallowness and instead to be respectful and supportive of sisters’ struggles; promoting enjoyable exercise through the RSF (gym), hiking, yoga, or reserving women-only pools for swimming.

Collaborating with other sisters to foster community and improved health was suggested by several women. Many sisters appreciated the survey and want to see more discussion on this topic in order to better understand themselves and other sisters and, thus, actively work towards improving their own self-esteem, and helping others to do the same. As for being beautiful for a spouse, Alhamdulillah we have a choice in who we marry, we can make it a requirement for our spouse that they will love and cherish us as we are. And it is possible to find that— as one of our sisters put it, “If Allah can make the sun rise in the east and set in the west, he can make a spouse who is perfect for you.”

As women who are exposed to a plethora of standards and expectations from others, we need to ask ourselves the hard and self-defining questions about what it means to be women, what our own goals in life are and whose approval or lack thereof impacts our self-esteem.  As Muslims, our ideas of self-esteem are human and prone to the same influences that affect everyone around the world. However, the moral compass of Islam helps us take a step back and realize that the One we need to please is our Creator and Sustainer, Allah (swt). Our positive self-regard should come from being His beloved and His servants. Allah says in the Qur’an: “And We have indeed honored the children of Adam (Muslims, non-Muslims, women, men, all)…” (Qur’an 17:70) This is an honor as God Himself declares His respect for human beings. So how then can human beings disrespect themselves? Furthermore, if an individual remembers God, He will remember that individual. (Qur’an 2:152) And what beauty and comfort it is to remember that “Allah does not look at your appearance or your possessions, but He looks at your heart and your deeds.” (Hadith-Sahih Muslim) Imagine if we were turned inside out with our physical appearances hidden and our hearts and character turned outward—would our character shine with the efforts we had placed to work on it just as we obsess over our external appearances?

Still, Islam is always the middle way and encourages us to stay clean and stay healthy as our body is a trust from Allah. It is time to recognize, however, that dwelling too much over areas of ourselves we have no control over whilst focusing on others’ expectations rather than pleasing God [the purpose of our lives] is indeed a spiritual disease, a common sickness of the heart plaguing everyone, including the authors themselves.

As Hinshaw points out, the best cure for the ‘triple bind” is to associate with a community and form a higher purpose in life. Truly, all of our various communities offer us spaces and resources to develop ourselves. We should work on developing our own identities and purpose(s) within these frameworks while working towards the pleasure of Allah and not waiver in our abilities to support ourselves through discussion groups, halaqas and sisterhood. Finally, no expectations from anyone but God should hinder any individual, male or female, from figuring out who they really are and where their unique talents lie. Truly, by serving God and then by serving His creation, one has unlimited means to feel good about themselves—a part of a larger, meaningful whole.

Originally published in Al-Bayan, UC Berkeley Muslim student publication

Unveiled – Understanding the Niqab
Where: Online
When: Thursday, May 26, 2011 at 7:00-8:00 PM EST
Speaker: Hebah Ahmed
Register online at http://bit.ly/registerforwebinar

There is much confusion and dispute among Muslims and non-Muslims about the status of the niqab (face veil). The intent of this webinar is to dispel myths regarding the face veil. Is it oppression? Is banning it a breach of freedom of rights? Is it mandatory to wear in Islamic law? All this and more!

Come and Learn:

What is Niqab
The origins of Niqab
Criticisms against Niqab
How does one’s life change when they start wearing Niqab
How should one deal with sisters who wear Niqab – Muslim and non-Muslim perspective
Political enforcement and/or banning of Niqab

Hebah is a Muslim American with a Masters Degree in Mechanical Engineering. She was born in Chattanooga, Tennessee to Egyptian immigrants. Hebah is a social activist who works to dispel the myths about Islam and Women in Islam through community presentations and panel discussions.

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This is a sisters only event
Online webcast with audio and visual presentation
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For maximum benefit, try your best to attend this event live.
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Toronto Time: 7 pm EST
Chicago Time: 6 pm CST
LA Time: 4 pm PST
Egypt Time: 4 am
London Time: 12 am
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FREE ONLINE WEBINAR
Suggested Donation: $ 5
Donate here: http://bit.ly/hereisagiftforyou

Unveiled – Understanding the Niqab
Where: Online
When: Thursday, May 26, 2011 at 7:00-8:00 PM EST
Speaker: Hebah Ahmed
Register online at http://bit.ly/registerforwebinar

While many women in the global south face crises of basic needs such as limited access to clean drinking water, barred entry to educational advancement or little to no participation in political and social decision making, it is not only their cause we weep over. Women in the United States still make around $0.80 to each man’s dollar despite the equal effort they exhibit in the workplace. Abuse, rape, self-esteem issues, balancing roles…these are not just issues of the developing world. These are human issues we all face collectively.

So are we making progress?

So was today a day of true change? Can we call it a permanent change? Or is it a slogan we just see on one day which will disappear the rest of the year?

Yes and no; while the sloganeering may be more common on this day, many individuals, families, communities and organizations live by the principle that ‘women’s day is everyday’ or ‘human dignity day is everyday.’ The increased momentum on this one day (March 8th) is akin to the world planting many seeds together on one day. However, they will need to follow through on that commitment by watering these seeds regularly throughout the year. Without this, no cause will succeed, particularly this cause for women’s dignity and basic human equality which is being undermined daily worldwide.

International Women’s Day succeeded in its united action, strength of coalitions, and specific policy recommendations (in particular the call for ‘Equal access to education, training and science and technology: Pathway to decent work for women’ which was the theme for 2011).  Many individuals and organizations are committed to sustained change in the areas of women’s empowerment, health, protection, education, political and social rights and they don’t just reek of lip service. Rather, helping the cause of women is their daily mission.  These heroes may have built a woman’s shelter, opened a girl’s school or studied their butt off in medical school specializing in gynecology! They may have spoken out when a female child was about to be buried alive just for being a female, reported a case of domestic abuse or inspired hope in a woman by reminding her that she is worthy of much more than what she or others may think.

From petitioning governments to building schools to mentoring even one young woman, from advocating policy to spreading awareness via tweets daily, such sustained service must be sincerely applauded.  We all know of some  heroes like these in our lives, Alhamdulillah. In this arena, change is a reality because it is small and incremental. Our dear Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) even told us in this regard, “Allah loves those deeds that are most consistent even if they are small.” (Bukhari and Muslim) There is truly a lesson to be learned from this style of activism.

Can we improve?

First of all, some politicians or power structures may use this day for their own advantage. They may side with women’s issues for one day in order to boost their overall image while not following up on many of their promises.  While their intentions are misaligned, some good might still come out of their efforts by spreading awareness of these issues and getting the light into the media. Eventually these corrupt leaders’ mindsets need to be reformed and the best way is through simultaneous education and also through demanding change.

Secondly, International Women’s Day may be misunderstood in some contexts if women merely protest on the streets one day of the year. These women, who might be otherwise invisible to society, not engaged in the social, economic or political sphere to any degree the rest of the 364 days of the year, indeed have noble aims.  However, if they act too hastily without foresight and analysis, they might perpetuate the gap between women’s rights activists such as themselves and the rest of society if they are not clear in their demands. People may label them as too extreme to even be heard because they don’t even understand their message, thereby de-legitimizing their cause. In such societies, change needs to be more gradual, using wisdom (Hikmah) to the best of their ability.  Perhaps more clear communication between individuals and different actors in society needs to be improved and demands need to be more clear before engaging in outright ‘rebellion’ as some may put it. If protests are coupled with education and awareness campaigns in which trust is built between different groups, a revolution towards justice for all will become the entire nation’s priority and agenda, not just the women’s.

How do Muslim women fit into this portrait?

As Muslim women, it is clear that we are not free of global crises affecting women. In fact, it is often in our own post-colonial nations that we see disparate inequalities due to a variety of economic, political and social reasons. So where does Islam fit in? Islam, which means to submit one’s will to the Creator of the Heavens and Earth, and thereby attain peace, puts God back into the picture.

God is the Creator of women and men. He speaks for the weak and oppressed. His Prophets came to restore dignity to those who society had degraded. It is in this vein that Muslim women should be confident that International Women’s Day is merely one step towards the goal that God is already helping them with. God is already on their side.

While we navigate these murky waters with a renewed sense of activism, it is important to remember a few things:

a)     We won’t get anywhere in the arena of women’s rights unless we as women realize that our self worth comes from God and not from men, society, the market economy, and all other worldly ‘things’.  When we realize the amount of dignity God has given us, that will restore our belief in ourselves.  When we realize Allah has made our worth in His eyes the same worth as a man, we will feel empowered to be that agent of good in this world. When we realize our father and mother, Adam and Eve, were put on earth as vicegerents or Khalifa, we will rise to the task of enjoining the good and forbidding the evil, in effect, serving the Creator by serving His creation, with that much more passion and resolve, not in spite of our gender, but because of it. On the other hand, if we struggle for women’s rights without remembering that Allah is with us, without remembering it is He who gave us dignity to begin with, we suffer the possible consequences of: being burned out without remembering our cause, having to please too many people’s standards and forgetting where we stand, and worst of all, having all our good deeds being wasted.  Allah the Most High reminds us in the Qur’an in Surah Kahf (The Cave):

103. Say (O Muhammad ): “Shall We tell you the greatest losers in respect of (their) deeds?

104. “Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life while they thought that they were acquiring good by their deeds!

105. “They are those who deny the Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of their Lord and the Meeting with Him (in the Hereafter). So their works are in vain, and on the Day of Resurrection, We shall not give them any weight.

Therefore, let’s remember to keep Allah as part of our struggle, and in fact, the most important One in our struggle. As Muslims, it is for His sake that we do anything. It is to please Him, serve Him and submit to Him. Our fight for women’s rights is a natural branch off of our duty to Allah as He has ordained justice. So let’s keep renewing our intentions and remember our fight for justice for all, including justice, dignity and rights for women, is for Allah’s sake.

b)     Women’s rights is an issue Islam takes very seriously.   We should not forget the power of our own discourse on this day when many other individuals and organizations present their viewpoints.  Indeed, we should support them in their good actions.   However, let us remember we have something of utmost value to contribute to this conversation!

In fact, justice for all, justice for the weak and oppressed in particular, is one of the hallmarks of Islam.  It sets us apart from other women’s rights activists that good treatment of others, including women, is something connected to our salvation in this life and hereafter.  It should make us tremble that we will be asked about our conduct towards others on the Day of Judgment. This should increase our desire to do good to others in our daily interactions and on a larger scale as best we can.

Thus, Muslims should be the flag-bearers and forerunners in this area of human rights, women’s rights and justice for all. Muslims should be known as the best to women, men, children, poor, rich, i.e. everyone, because this matter of others’ welfare is intimately tied to our ‘aqeedah (belief).

Allah the Most High says in the Qur’an regarding women: “…and live with them honorably.” (4:19)  The Prophet (salallahu alayhi wassalam) made it clear that the heaviest of things on the scale of Deeds on the Day of Judgment will be good manners and “the best of you are those who are the best to their wives.” (Tirmidhi)

c)     The struggle is not over! Keep fighting! Let’s make women’s issues and issues of good conduct towards all a daily matter. Let us first conquer ourselves through sustained change through our five daily prayers and obligations towards Allah. We cannot change the world without first changing ourselves. And let us join whoever is doing good without diluting our own principles.

Don’t tire, ever. Remember this beautiful inspiration: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: “One who strives to help the widows and the poor is like the one who fights in the way of Allah. I shall regard him as the one who stands up (for prayer) without rest and as the one who observes fasts continuously.” (Bukhari and Muslim)

Much, much more can be said on this topic! In fact, here at Muslimah Source, our team’s passion to ‘educate, support and guide’ women worldwide will continue inshaAllah, even beyond this day.  Please get involved with writing, awareness and with upcoming projects by emailing info@muslimahsource.org and share your thoughts on International Women’s Day 2011 below!

As a new year arrives, we are often left wandering with these painful questions. Perhaps we had survived some defining ordeal in the past year. Maybe we have still not forgiven others or ourselves for past mistakes.  A loss of a loved one, a job, health issues or more may be troubling us. Maybe we feel guilty about a sin and need to ask for forgiveness from the All High, the Most Merciful, our Lord Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala.

The first step in reconciling these types of thoughts is to realize we are all in a certain position in life for a reason. Each human being was given certain circumstances because Allah knew they could handle it. He is All-Knowing, All Merciful. Our past surely painted us with certain colors but it should not continue to haunt us. Rather, when we know we are in control of our choices, we can grow stronger from the experience and accept Allah’s will knowing that everything happens for a reason. We gain strength from the fact that our Lord entrusted us with a certain experience and He deemed us strong enough to take it on! Subhan Allah!

Allah says in the Qur’an: No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. (2:233)

Wouldn’t He as our loving Creator have the complete 360 degree view of our situation? Indeed, He does. And we don’t have the full picture yet. Allah knows our past, present and future and knows that the challenges we face, in the long run, we face for a reason. To accept this and stop wallowing in self-pity is the start of change.

The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said, “Allah `azza wa jall said: ‘Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by being inflicted with poverty, and were I to enrich him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by wealth and affluence, and were I to deprive him, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by good health, and were I to make him sick, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he whose faith cannot be rectified except by disease and illness, and were I to make him healthy, it would surely corrupt him. Verily, from amongst My slaves is he who seeks worship by a certain act but I prevent that from him so that self-amazement does not enter his heart. Certainly, I run the affairs of My slaves by My Knowledge of what is in their hearts. Certainly, I am the All-Knower, All-Aware.‘” [Reported by al-Tabarani]

With humility and submission, we must realize that we lack complete knowledge. However, we need to accept our free will and potential to change our situation. Accepting each day as a new beginning while hoping for the best will free our mental shackles.

“The beginning of a journey starts with the single step…”

Let the first step today be thankfulness for our situation, not complaint. Let’s practice gratitude and Shukr as a daily routine. Let’s say “Alhamdulillah” today as though we mean it.

Since the beginning of time on earth, life as known to human beings has one key certainty: death. We as humans see death around us and know it will come one day or another. Some people have tried avoiding death by finding how to become ‘immortal’. They’ve spent their lives searching for the ‘fountain of youth’ which will keep them young forever or tried discovering medicines which will keep them healthy for the maximum amount of time possible. None of this will save humanity from death, sorry to say. But one thing will help us towards immortality – and that is, righteousness and leaving a legacy.

We believe in Islam that our soul (Ruh) will continue on even after death. If we ‘believe and work righteous deeds’ as Allah tells us many times in the Qur’an, we will have eternal life in Paradise, God willing. That is the one key we have in our hands towards immortality.

The second key is known as Sadaqah Jariyah or continuous charity. This effort will continue to benefit us after we are gone. The Prophet Muhammad (salallahu alayhi wassalam – peace be upon him) eloquently told us: “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous decendant who prays for him (for the deceased).’[Muslim].

Sadaqah Jariyah includes such things as building a mosque, a hospital, digging a well, raising a righteous child or leaving something similar which continues to benefit others even after he or she has died. In today’s world, we hear of endowments (known as waqf in Arabic) taking other forms such as many orphanages, trusts, schools, organizations being built or books, websites, da’wah organizations being built. We hear of good children being raised which inspires us. Basically, this concept is still around! Even modern management gurus focus on this notion of leaving a legacy. A vision, defined by MIT management expert, Peter Senge, as “the picture of the future we would like to see” is seen as a crucial element of a meaningful life. So let us think: what is the picture of the future we would like to see?

Let’s read a few verses of Surah Baqarah carefully which detail this concept with the example of Prophet Ibrahim (peace be upon him), also known as Abraham. Seriously, get out a cup of coffee or juice and soak in these beautiful verses, one by one. (in Arabic with a great reciter would be ideal!)

Qur’an 2:124-134

And [mention, O Muhammad], when Abraham was tried by his Lord with commands and he fulfilled them. [ Allah ] said, “Indeed, I will make you a leader for the people.” [Abraham] said, “And of my descendants?” [ Allah ] said, “My covenant does not include the wrongdoers.”

And [mention] when We made the House a place of return for the people and [a place of] security. And take, [O believers], from the standing place of Abraham a place of prayer. And We charged Abraham and Ishmael, [saying], “Purify My House for those who perform Tawaf and those who are staying [there] for worship and those who bow and prostrate [in prayer].”

And [mention] when Abraham said, “My Lord, make this a secure city and provide its people with fruits – whoever of them believes in Allah and the Last Day.” [ Allah ] said. “And whoever disbelieves – I will grant him enjoyment for a little; then I will force him to the punishment of the Fire, and wretched is the destination.”

And [mention] when Abraham was raising the foundations of the House and [with him] Ishmael, [saying], “Our Lord, accept [this] from us. Indeed You are the Hearing, the Knowing.

Our Lord, and make us Muslims [in submission] to You and from our descendants a Muslim nation [in submission] to You. And show us our rites and accept our repentance. Indeed, You are the Accepting of repentance, the Merciful.

Our Lord, and send among them a messenger from themselves who will recite to them Your verses and teach them the Book and wisdom and purify them. Indeed, You are the Exalted in Might, the Wise.”

And who would be averse to the religion of Abraham except one who makes a fool of himself. And We had chosen him in this world, and indeed he, in the Hereafter, will be among the righteous.

When his Lord said to him, “Submit”, he said “I have submitted [in Islam] to the Lord of the worlds.”

And Abraham instructed his sons [to do the same] and [so did] Jacob, [saying], “O my sons, indeed Allah has chosen for you this religion, so do not die except while you are Muslims.”

Or were you witnesses when death approached Jacob, when he said to his sons, “What will you worship after me?” They said, “We will worship your God and the God of your fathers, Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac – one God. And we are Muslims [in submission] to Him.”

That was a nation which has passed on. It will have [the consequence of] what it earned, and you will have what you have earned. And you will not be asked about what they used to do.

Though it’s hard to summarize these verses of the Qur’an without doing injustice to the clarity and beauty of each and every miraculous word, let’s try and proceed to finding the action plan highlighted by Allah in these verses.

Ibrahim (as) worked towards building a Sadaqah Jariyah which continues to benefit humanity today. With sincerity in their hearts, remembering they are were only working for the sake of God, Prophet Ibrahim and his son Prophet Isma’eel, peace be upon them both, built the Ka’bah which millions of Muslims visit yearly for Hajj til this day. We pray in that direction, we remember the sacrifices of previous prophets in relaying the message of Allah, the Most High, and most importantly, we remember the foundation of their message which was Tawheed: worshipping Allah alone without any partners – worshipping the Creator, not His creation. They left a legacy of monotheism which continues to impact all of humanity today; Islam, Judaism and Christianity all recognize the important role of Prophet Abraham in their faiths.

As we can see in these verses, Ibrahim (as) was very concerned about the fate of his future generations. He wanted them to submit to Allah alone, worshipping Him without partners. He envisioned for them righteousness. He cared not only for their dunya but for their aakhirah. He could clearly picture their future, even up to the detail of fruits, as mentioned in his du’a. He made his vision and practically worked towards its accomplishment, all the while trusting in Allah (swt) for the results. If we think about it, his simple method can be applied to every decision we make in life!

The story of Ibrahim (as) in these verses explains to us that if we want to build a similar Sadaqah Jariyah, we must:

1)      Submit to Allah – Ibrahim (as) was asked to submit and he said right away: “Aslamtu” or “I have submitted”. In Arabic, ‘aslamtu’ is the past tense verb form for submission, not the present tense. Thus, Ibrahim (as) was so quick and firm to submit that he didn’t even take a moment to hesitate and he exclaimed, ‘I have submitted’ to God. When we work towards pleasing God by building a lasting charity for His sake, we must have this sincerity for Allah alone and hope in our hearts to please Him only. In pleasing Him comes the duty of submitting to Him. Our individual lives, families, institutions, charities, da’wah work, writing- you name it!- should involve submitting to Allah’s guidelines at all times. Sometimes it might be convenient to follow our own desires, avoid paying taxes or indulge in interest, cross the limits when working with the opposite gender, but really, are we following the guidelines of the One we claim to be working for? If not, let’s check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.  The foundation of pleasing God and following His rules is key to success in anything.

2)      Worship Him as would please Him – Sometimes it’s hard to know how best to please God. How do we do it? As we see with his example, Ibrahim (as) asked Allah to ‘show [them their]  rites’ or rituals of practice. He asked Allah to send to his following generations a Messenger that would continue to guide them. Our vision, projects and goals can never be successful without Allah’s guidance which we need to continually ask of Him. And if we don’t know how best to please Allah, let’s find out. Knowledge these days is very accessible and our own laziness, shyness or lack of initiative may be stopping us. Join a class or ask a scholar you trust about how the Qur’an and Sunnah show us how best to worship Allah (swt), generally and specifically for our goals.

3)      Get like-minded people to help you (starting with family) – Ibrahim (as) made du’a for Allah to guide his family and he teamed up with his son Isma’il to build the Ka’bah. Ya’qub (as) also known as Prophet Jacob (peace be upon him) similarly asked his sons about their faith after he would die which shows a sense of genuine concern for one’s family members. Note: Flip to Surah Yusuf. We know this family was not free from drama, rebellion, and jealousy, things which continue to plague families until today (because we are human). The point is: can we get past our differences and mood swings to sincerely work together for the sake of God? Family is the building block of society, and who are we kidding if we have huge visions to shape the world but if we have no vision of growth and mutual understanding for our close ones? If their family could do it, ours can surely try.

4)      Du’a – This is a common theme employed by Ibrahim (as). Before he started building, before we start meeting architects or consultants in order to solidify our plans for Sadaqah Jariyah or before we meet our family doctor to see the ultrasound of our future bundle of joy or before we submit our college application to our ideal college, have we consulted the Ultimate Helper? Have we turned to the One who responds to all Calls? Ibrahim (as) turned to Allah and he profusely supplicated to Him with his vision. He was sincere, specific and consistent in his du’as/prayers, as we should be too in our du’as for our vision.

5)      Institution building and du’a – Even while he was building the Ka’bah with his hands and help of his son, Ibrahim (as) continued to make du’a. We shouldn’t leave du’a at any time. As we can see, Ibrahim (as)’s vision involved du’a before, during and after the Sadaqah Jariyah was complete. Similarly, we can not only reduce our stress level during activism but we can also ensure that we are purifying our intentions along each step of the way if we make du’a throughout! For instance, imagine how different our sometimes long, stressful and/or tiresome masjid, MSA or any organization board meetings and events would be if we made du’a even during these events! : )

6)      Du’a – Even after he was done, Ibrahim (as) made a du’a for the long-term – he wanted to leave a vision that was selfless, pleased Allah, and which left a positive mark on humanity until the Day of Judgment. The fruits of our vision, charity, or project may take a long time to sprout, but eventually they will insha’Allah. As we see in these verses, Ibrahim (as)’s seeds did sprout but didn’t sprout totally immediately- they included later the sons of Jacob (as) who said “We will worship your God and the God of your fathers, Abraham and Ishmael and Isaac – one God”. Thus, the seeds of monotheism, submitting to God, doing good works – the legacy of Ibrahim (as) and all the other prophets – continued but he wasn’t there to physically see his seeds necessarily. Similarly, we might have to wait until the Day of Judgment until we see our fruits, but, it’s okay. It’s all good. We did what we could and we have high hopes of meeting The Compassionate One, the Just, in whose Mercy and Justice we rely in our hopes of immortality and our hopes of nearness to Him and the righteous believers in Paradise, for eternity, in the Hereafter (insha’Allah, God willing, ameen).

For more detail on these verses, check out www.tafsir.com or some tafsir Surah Baqarah lectures or classes online or near you! For more on Strategic Visions, check out www.timelenders.com to download a free workshop manual or check out classes near you.