I have a problem. I love to bake. And when I get an impulse to bake something it is almost impossible to shake it. Now, the problem is, since I bake so much I often run out of staples (butter, eggs). So this leads to frantic internet searches for substitutions and alternate recipes. Sometimes these turn out to be total flops. Other times they actually turn out good enough to make again (butter-less, egg-less, oatmeal raisin cookies anyone?). But never in a million years did I think that one of these frantic searches for lack of ingredients on hand would lead me to my perfect chocolate chip cookie recipe.

In the years I’ve been cooking, I’ve tried many many chocolate chip cookie recipes in search of “the one.” I tried refrigerating the dough, using pudding in the mix, changing the oven temperatures, but they were never just right. The pudding one tasted too much like vanilla. Others were too cakey, some were hard as rocks, others didn’t keep well. I had almost given up until I stumbled on this recipe two years ago.

Now I know that everyone has their preferences when it comes to chocolate chip cookies but to me this cookie is perfect. For starters from start to finish it takes less than 30 mins. Second, it doesn’t require any fancy ingredients, just what you would normally have on hand. And most importantly it has the right texture. It’s not thick but it’s also not paper thin. The edges have a slight crunch to them without the cookie being dry. And the inside? The inside is a perfect combination of ooey gooey chewy goodness. I mean, how can you go wrong with a recipe that calls for just as much chocolate as it does flour??

Ingredients:

• ½ cup butter
• ½ cup packed brown sugar
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar
• ½ tsp vanilla
• 3 tbsp water
• 1 cup flour
• ¾ tsp baking soda
• 1/3 tsp salt
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• ½ cup nuts (optional)

Preparation

1. Heat oven to 300 degrees
2. Beat softened butter and sugars until well blended
3. Add in vanilla and water and mix until smooth
4. Mix baking soda and salt into flour and incorporate into butter mixture
5. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts (if using)
6. Drop dough by tablespoons full onto baking dish 2 inches apart.
7. Bake in preheated oven for 14 minutes or until the edges begin to brown. (If you’ll notice in the pictures above the bottom and edges are barely browned. If you over bake you will end p with a delicious cookie that is crispy all the way through.
8. Allow to cool slightly on baking sheet and enjoy!

Recipe originally from myrecipes.com.

The reason this really comes to mind is that Allah really loves and out of His love He sent this guidance, this noble Book, this blessed Book, and any time throughout our lives we can open up this guidance and these words of love to help us and direct us. Every word that Allah sends in His Book is meant to reawaken our hearts, to remind us, to admonish us, to warn us, to give us hope, and who would do this…except the one who Loves us!

Bismillah,

Alhamdulillah, all praise is due to Allah who has given us strength in every facet of our lives!

Alhamdulillah, we’ve recently just hit lesson 12 of AlBaqarah in my AlHuda tafsir class. My heart rejoices in staying on top of this class along with all the stuff in my schedule. I’m grateful to Allah for all the mercy He has shown all of us.

We recently covered verse 63 of Surah Baqarah, and the word Quwa really stood out to me. This word means strength. In context it was revealed in verse 63 (Bi-quwatin) – with full strength, ability, force. Root words: Qaaf waaw yaa. I absolutely love the definitions given and the connection made in our faith regarding it. My heart rejoiced in hearing it and it struck a cord within me to seek to be given this Quwa for all time (and I believe all of us whether we recognize it or not are given this Quwa in one shape or another).

There are 2 types of Quwa:

1.) Tangible strength- physical

2.) Intangible strength-spiritual strength, determined people, people who when they set out to do something for Allah and for themselves in the deen they are firm, they are not shaken, they decide on something and they stick to it, firm resolution, they are people who even if they are tired they wake up for their prayers, they continue forth regardless of all they have to do, and they stick it out. All of this is possible because Allah gave them firmness of heart. Their hearts are not shaken and they do not give up.

This Quwa is truly something we should ask Allah for. I feel like I can remember having this in Ramadan the most, that this blessed time comes, and subhana’Allah you can feel the blessings of it in your ability to accomplish so much. Your mind is not tied down to ‘what if’s’ and ‘I don’t have time for’ and Allah places such strength in our hearts during the month and even afterwards that we may refer to it as some ’super human thing’, but subhana’Allah this is truly from the mercy of Allah.

This firmness though is something that we should first pray for, and then we should also seek to adapt it into our habits. It can come with really reminding ourselves of all the good deeds we started out to do for Allah and for ourselves (as truly it is for ourselves that we are working for), and then from there. We should make the conscious decision to see it through. Whether this is one’s relationship with the Quran, with one’s decision to stick to a specific schedule that enables one to remember Allah more, or in general life decisions. A lot of times (specifically with the deen) we fall short in so many ways, as in we start out to do good deeds, but along the way we let go of them, and this truly makes me sad. If we think about all the other deadlines we’ve met (projects, school, midterms, work) because our professor, boss, teacher, friend asked of us, but then we fall short in what Allah asked us of (salaah, quran, other obligations) then it is really a reminder to wake up and really prioritize our life. It is when we put Allah first that we are given ‘izza (honor) and we are given the best in this life and in the hereafter. In the context of verse 63 in Surah Baqarah, Allah tells the Bani Isra’il;

1.) Take what we give you (The Torah) with strength

2.) Adhere to book with firmness, carry out the commands with determination

3.) Take proper implementation of book, to have determination in abiding by the book.

All of these points (all three) really are relevant to us as Muslims today. Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala is calling out to you, me, and all of us in staying firm in His Book, using His Book as ‘the how to in our lives’, and He is telling us over and over in His Book to stick firm to this Book, hold on to it with firmness!

In contrast, the opposite is weakness. When someone has weakness in a situation or has that attitude towards something 1.) they will do it sometimes and not other times one does 2.) they will do once and forget about it, a challenge comes up and they give up.

Alhamdulillah! May Allah grant us the ability to stay firm, and be given this amazing mercy from Allah of a firm heart. A heart that is pure, a heart that is healthy and strong in the real sense, a heart conscious of the One who is most deserving of being worshipped!

Till next time, may Allah grant us to take heed of the reminders that come to us everyday! Oh Allah grant us to have a heart that is firm in your remembrance! A body that is not brought down by fatigue and a mind that is not brought down by the waswas of shaytaan! (Ameen)

Sister Habibe is an ordinary heroine on many levels, masha’Allah. A few reasons:

1. She exemplifies sincerity and humility in her work. Without sincerity, our deeds will be worthless. A huge check of our intentions is: would we contribute to good work even if our name weren’t mentioned?

2. She is a Muslim woman whose character and compassion towards others speaks for itself. This is one of the truest forms of da’wah (calling to Islam) – when someone’s heart and limbs are aligned in service to Allah by means of serving His Creation.

3. When we seek to make a change in society, often we aim low. Often we doubt ourselves. Often we seek shortsighted changes. Masha’Allah sister Habibe thought in the long-term and developed an institution, Rahima Foundation. She is a true role model in developing a vision and following through with it, despite the many roadblocks that will inevitably come on one’s way.

Our dear Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wassalam) has said most wisely:

“The most beloved of people according to Allah is he who brings most benefit to people, and the most beloved of deeds according to Allah the Mighty, the Magnificent, is that you bring happiness to a fellow Muslim, or relieve him of distress, or pay off his debt or stave away hunger from him. It is more beloved to me that I walk with my brother Muslim in his time of need than I stay secluded in the mosque for a month. Whoever holds back his anger, Allah will cover his faults and whoever suppresses his fury while being able to execute it, and Allah will fill his heart with satisfaction on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever walks with his brother Muslim in need until he establishes that for him, Allah will establish his feet firmly on the day when all feet shall slip. Indeed, bad character ruins deeds just as vinegar ruins honey.” (at-Tabarani)

May Allah (swt) bless and reward sister Habibe. And may He allow us to refine our characters, find our potential to serve Him in the best of ways and be a source of mercy to others, Ameen.

By Sarah Hassaine-Nadoona Exercise Consultant

“What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know, what are you thinking?”

“We can grab dinner or dessert?”

“Yeah let’s do dinner and then grab coffee or something?”

“Ok, cool.”

And so it goes right?

I think we all have this conversation at least once a week while coordinating a social outing with a friend. It can be on the phone, via email, chat or text.  Doesn’t matter the medium – the end result tends to be the same.

My goal in the next few minutes as you read this article is to hopefully change the outcome of this conversation, at least occasionally.

Culturally, our social and family lives tend to revolve around food.  When we reunite with family and friends it’s always around a meal.  It’s what brings people together.  Globally this is the case, families and friends gather for dinner and sit for two to three hours just talking, sharing stories, and eating.  Our social lives are dictated around meal times. The Prophet peace be upon him taught us that there is blessing in eating together, but we’ve taken things to a whole new level!

Below are the most popular options that we consider when meeting up with a friend:

-          Dinner and a Movie

-          Dessert and a Movie

-          Dinner and Dessert

-          Dessert

-          Mall and Lunch and Coffee

-          Mall and Coffee

-          Mall and Dinner and Coffee

I think you see the trend!

Essentially my main concern here is that our friends and our choices can lead to weight gain because our choices tend to revolve around food.  Our families and friends can make us “fat”/”fatter.” And of course, eating out all the time is not the healthiest of options.  Food outside the home tends to be higher in calories, in sodium, and in fat, making a healthy life style more challenging to achieve.  It is essential to recognize that we are greatly affected by the people we surround ourselves with.

Picture this: You are an avid and dedicated smoker and all your friends smoke.  You want to quit. You decide to quit.  However you stick to it throughout the week but as soon as you get together with your friends and they all light up their cigarettes, you cave in.  It is hard to be the odd man out and the desire is just too strong.  One puff and you feel great again, and then the guilt of caving into a cigarette washes over you and you console yourself that you will “quit next week” and resume lighting up.

The exact same scenario can be applied to healthy eating and to maintaining a balanced lifestyle.

I have had many clients that have told me it’s hard to not eat in certain settings due to the comments people make.  One woman relayed that everyone at her office grabbed fast food every day for lunch together and so she would feel left out if she did not go with them.  When she started bringing her own lunch, they all attacked her for “trying to be healthy” and teased her food choices.  This was real distressing and she could not stick to her regimen for a long time.

This is often the case: donuts at work, candy jars in the reception area, company birthdays and lunches; and then with friends, an occasion to hang out and splurge – there is always a party or invite of some sort. It is said that people can gain up to 15 pounds a year due to food available at work.

We face a lot of temptation on a daily basis and the will that needs to be in place to withstand all the options has to be very defined and sure of its conviction.  It is never easy when you are a guest in someone’s home and they keep piling more food on your plate and you “have” to eat it because its rude not to.  Or when all your friends are grabbing dessert at the Cheesecake Factory and that White Chocolate Raspberry has your name on it too. Or when all your friends are ordering the Penne Bolognese and suddenly that Asian Chopped Salad no longer seems appetizing.

Psychologically, we push what we may want, or know we may need, out the window for another day.

But why?

There is no better time than the present to withstand the pressures. The temptations will always be there – the hope is that your inner strength will become laden with a set conviction of what you do need. Once you stand for it, you will feel stronger and better about yourself.

While being different amongst your family and friends is hard, the satisfaction you will feel for standing up for yourself and for your needs will outweigh the momentary bliss that sets in when you cave in for the food item you ordered/ate while with them.  In the end, you will be respected for standing up for yourself.  If people do make comments – it is often out of jealousy, admiration or their own insecurities.  At the end of the day, true friends and loved ones will support your choices no matter what.  You just need to respect yourself.

Here are some options to consider when planning to see a friend that span outside the options of just food:

-          Walk in a park

-          Walk in a museum

-          Walk on the beach/river/body of water

-          Do an exercise or yoga video together

-          Go take an exercise class together or go to the gym together

-          Take a dance class

-          Walk and shop (shopping burns calories! Yeah!)

-          Bake and cook together (a lean, healthy meal of course )

When ordering at a restaurant/café with friends, try to stay away from:

-          Anything creamy and cheesy

-          Thick dressings (stick to vinegars or just olive oil and vinegar)

-          Red meats

-          Fried foods

-          Free bread and chips that are endless and free at the beginning of your meal

-          Ordering an appetizer and a big meal

-          Finishing your plate if it is too much food  – get a to-go box (you can even ask the waiter to box half your meal and bring you the rest so you’re not tempted to eat the whole plate)

-          Butter sauces

-          Rich desserts (hey I am a girl – I love dessert, order something light and split with friends!)

Fun Nadoona Fact: The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Food for one is enough for two and food for two is enough for three and food for three is enough for four.” [Ahmad, At-Tirmidhi, An-Nasaa'I, Ibn Majah – Hadith sahih]

-          Thick white processed breads (ask for whole wheat)

-          Creamy drinks (get tea and add milk)

-          Condensed or evaporated milk

-          Soda!

If you take away one thing from this article – it’s this: your friends and family can make you fat, but you are in charge of letting that happen.  Temptations will always be there but how you face them can be a determining factor on your health and active lifestyle.  Your challenge is how you answer this question the next time you are planning to meet up with a friend: “So what do you want to do?” You got this!

Eid Mubarak to all our readers!

May Allah, the Most Compassionate, the Most High, accept all our good deeds, help us to renew our intentions and have a blessed year ahead with our families and loved ones, Ameen. May He rejuvenate our hearts, minds, bodies and souls with renewed purpose, increased guidance, and far-sighted perspective to overcome struggles in this life. May He allow us all to be doers of good for humanity & reunite us all in the Highest of Paradise, Ameen!

I demanded to know if this sister was doing all right, if she had considered calling the police or not and if my mom’s friend had ever thought to intervene.

“We can’t do too much,” she responded. “If we call the police, who knows? We might ruin their marriage for life.”

‘As if their relationship could even be called a marriage’, I thought. ‘I hope she gets help.’

What has changed is that in a scenario like that of my mom’s friend’s friend, I would not simply look at a woman and judge her for staying or not staying. I would not assume that there is no love between the couple or that they are facing bad times. However, I would know that there are many instances of underlying control, which is used by abusers to maintain their dominance in a relationship. I would not simply assume that the woman is weak and the man is strong (or in a different situation if the woman is the abuser, vice versa). Rather, there can be deeper issues of insecurity, unhealthy attachments, and a history of abuse within the individuals’ families.  What has indeed changed is that I would try to let the survivor know: you are not alone. It is not your fault. There is help available if you seek it.

What has, unfortunately, remained the same is the prevalence of domestic abuse in the larger community and specifically in our Muslim community. What has not changed is the ignorance and silence surrounding this issue. What has sadly not changed are myths surrounding abuse.

Abuse or assault is not an anger issue. It is an issue of control.

Abuse or assault is never the victim’s fault. It is always the fault of the aggressor.

What has remained the same since that scenario is that there is still silence and denial in the Muslim community that domestic violence and sexual assault exist. Just because we are striving to follow Islam, the beautiful religion of peace and submission to God, does not mean we as Muslims are perfect. On the contrary, abuse exists at the hands of even so-called ‘practicing’ Muslims.  Further, domestic abuse remains a taboo topic in society as a whole.  A woman in the United States is abused or raped every nine seconds, according to the American Medical Association.  Moreover, one in every four women has experienced abuse in their lifetime and one in every thirteen men have experienced abuse as well, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.  If this traumatizing behavior exists at such a high rate, why are we still silent? Have we forgotten the Prophetic saying:

“Whoever sees something evil should change it with his hand. If he cannot, then with his tongue; and if he cannot do even that, then in his heart. That is the weakest degree of faith.” (Sahih Muslim)

We must remain vigilant of this issue, whether it is happening to us or whether it is happening to those around us. This involves breaking down myths.  One myth is that domestic abuse affects women only. This is not the case – men are affected too.  Another myth is that domestic abuse does not affect women who observe modest dress. This is not the case either.

So what can we do?

1. Never feel afraid to reach out, whether to a friend, family member, counselor or respected member of the community. If you feel an anonymous voice is better, local hotlines are available too.  On the other side of the coin, be a voice, be an ear, be aware of when abuse may be occurring in the community. It’s not your job to be Superman and ‘save’ the person; not at all, it is the individual’s choice and right to make a decision. But always leave the door of support open.
2. Educate ourselves about the signs of abuse and the cycle of violence. The Mayo Clinic lists a few key signs of abuse that are important to know and show that abuse is not only physical; it can also be verbal, emotional, physical or sexual.

3. Educate ourselves about the resources available in our communities. For instance, did you know that there are 24-hour crisis hotlines available? Did you know there is a wealth of knowledge out there, even grounded in Islamic perspectives?

4. Increase our reliance on and relationship with our Creator, Allah (swt). We will be rewarded for bearing this test, for our struggles, our patience and resilience. But our patience should not lead to inaction. Our reliance on God comes with the responsibility that we do what we can and Allah takes care of the result. But if we are not even trying to change our situation, remember: “Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (Qur’an 13:11)

5. Remind ourselves of our self-worth. Allah created us to worship Him and to live healthy, fulfilling lives to the best of our abilities. Abuse does not come under those categories. Our guide and role model, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), never showed such behavior. Let us ask ourselves: are we better than the Prophet (pbuh) to think such behavior is acceptable?

6. Increase education and discussion on these topics in our community. What are our mosques and community centers doing about domestic abuse? Are there khutbahs (sermons) on this topic, even once a year?

7. Break the cycle of abuse by raising healthy and responsible children with secure attachments. Teaching respect, boundaries, tolerance and, most of all leading by an Islamic example of mercy, is crucial.

8. Support Muslim and non-Muslim initiatives to fight this societal evil. Support Muslimat al-Nisa (Baltimore, Maryland) or NISA (San Jose, CA) which are women’s shelters which are not receiving enough support from our communities.

9. Take this survey led by the Peaceful Families Project which measures attitudes on domestic violence within the Muslim community.

My friend had a very unique Facebook status: “Hurt people hurt people.” It resonated with me. And I wonder, what will I, what will we do, to make sure we can eliminate that hurt from our communities as best as we can? It starts with ourselves.

The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said: ‘Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed.’ A man asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah! I (know how to) help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?’ He (pbuh) said: ‘You can restrain him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him.’” [Al-Bukhari & Muslim]

Resources
Commendable Domestic Violence Series at MuslimMatters.org
Peaceful Families Project: http://www.peacefulfamilies.org/resources.html
Domestic Violence National Hotlines and Resources: http://fmpac.org/911/crisis.html
Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

Originally published at Al-Bayan

Lasagna appears to require a lot of time and hard work but in reality a lot of the components can be made ahead and it can easily be doubled to make an extra meal. One pan of lasagna usually serves us for 2 meals so what I like to do is double up on the ingredients and make a second pan at the same time. The second one gets popped into the freezer and is ready to pull out for a quick meal when you’re in a rush or are having one of those, “what in the world should I cook for dinner?!?!” days. So, that way 1 afternoon of work gives me 4 dinners!

The steps can be broken down into 3 categories: Sauce, ricotta filling, and layering. In total you’ll spend about 40 minutes in the kitchen; the rest of the day you’ll just spend drooling over the smell as the sauce bubbles away.

Place you’re noodles to boil while you prep the rest of your ingredients

You might need to put the spinach a little at a time so it can wilt down.

The spinach is done as soon as it’s wilted down to less than half it’s size.

While the spinach is cooking add the ricotta, egg, salt and pepper to a bowl. Add in a bit of Parmesan as well if you like.

Mmmmmm! This is definitely the yummiest layer.

I’m not a fan of using a lot of pots and pans so once the noodles are done and out of the pot I add in a bit of oil and the meat.

Mix the meat so it loosens up and releases it’s juices

Add in the chopped onions and mushrooms

After you add in the garlic, tomatoes, and seasonings the sauce will simmer on the stove for a few hours until it thickens up an the flavors develop.

You can chop, shred, or slice your cheese. The end result is all the same! Usually I go for shredded but thought I’d try a different approach this time.

The amount of ricotta filling is up to you but this is probably my favorite part of the whole dish

At this stage you can cover it and save it for later or bake it straight away

Nothing yummier than a fresh pan of lasagna with some garlic bread and salad!

————
Ingredients:

• 9 lasagna noodles
• 2 bags of pre-washed spinach (or 1 big bundle)
• 3 cloves of garlic chopped
• 1-2 containers of Ricotta
• 1 egg
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1-1.5 pounds of ground beef
• 1 onion chopped
• 1 cup chopped mushrooms (optional)
• 2 cans of tomato sauce OR 1 can of sauce + 1 can crushed or diced tomatoes (really any combination of fresh, canned, or sauced tomatoes works)
• 1 TBSP sugar
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 tsp pepper
• 1 tsp oregano
• 1 tsp Italian seasoning
• 2 cups shredded, chopped, or sliced Mozzarella cheese
• Parmesan cheese

—-
Directions:

1. Cook the lasagna noodles according to package directions
2. In a skillet heat olive oil and add 3 cloves chopped garlic. As soon as they become fragrant add the chopped spinach and allow it to cook down. If the spinach is too much for the pan wait a moment till it cooks down and add more. Salt and pepper to taste.
3. While the spinach cooks down add the ricotta, egg, and salt and pepper to a bowl. Once spinach is cooked down let it cool then add to the ricotta mixture. Mix and put in fridge.
4. Once noodles are done remove from the pot and place it back on the stove.
5. Brown the ground beef.
6. Add the onions and mushrooms and saute for a few minutes more. Salt and pepper as needed.
7. Add the garlic and mix in till fragrant. Add the tomatoes/tomato sauces + the seasonings.
8. Let it simmer for a few minutes then taste and adjust flavoring as needed. Note that the flavor will develop as the sauce simmers for an hour or two.
9. Cover the sauce and allow it to simmer for a few hours. In the meantime shred/chop/slice your mozzarella.
10. When everything is ready pre-heat the oven to 375. In glass 9×13 in pan ladle a thin layer of sauce (so the noodles don’t stick) and then add 3 lasagna noodles. Add a layer of sauce + cheese. Follow this with a second layer of noodles. Spread the ricotta mixture on top then add the final layer of noodles. On the top add the final layer of sauce + cheese.
11. At this point you can cover it and freeze it or refridgerate it for later use. If you are baking it now lightly grease a sheet of foil paper, cover, and place in the pre-heated oven for 20 minutes covered followed by 20 minutes uncovered.

Servings 8-12.

That’s why it comes as no surprise that the nourishing of their minds is a constant topic of discussion and debate. It’s no longer even just about what schools to send them to. Now the debate starts with what color toys your 5 month old should be playing with. Does black and white increase brain development or are bright colors more stimulating? Will allowing my toddler to watch TV cause developmental delays? Should I start my infant on a program that promises me that my baby will learn to read before he turns 2?  Or maybe instead I should be focusing on teaching him a second or third language; after all, the earlier they’re exposed, the faster they catch on.

Before you know it, your toddler turns 3 and the school debate begins! How are the public schools in my area? Maybe a private school will give him a better chance to succeed. Or an Islamic school will provide a better environment.

Along with these there is a fourth option that is gaining traction not only in Muslim communities but in the West generally. More and more parents are choosing to take the education of their children into their own hands and are opting to homeschool them. What makes homeschooling such an appealing option these days? And why do I choose to do it for my children?

Homeschooling in the west dates as far back as the founding fathers. Many of the “famous” Americans of the past such as George Washington, Benjamin Franklin, and Abraham Lincoln were what we would consider home-schooled. Being self-taught or educated at home remained fairly normal until the 1920s, when strict school laws began to be enforced. It was not until the 70s when the notion of rigid schooling was challenged and the idea began to gain traction during the late 80s and early 90s.

Growing up in the 90s, homeschooling was generally reserved for either a) anti-conformists who believed in “unschooling” or b) parents who felt public schools were undermining the religious upbringing they wanted for their children. When my parents decided to pull me out of school in the 2nd grade it was a controversial decision. There was no support from the school district and the only home-school groups in the area were heavily Christian and met at churches.

As the eldest home-schooled child in the family during the late 90s and early 2000s it sometimes felt like I was the guinea pig—being used to test out new methods and curricula. It wasn’t all bad but it wasn’t a well-rounded experience. I remember clearly telling my parents on many occasions that my kids would have the pleasure of going to “real” school. Yet here I am years latter spending my nights piecing together science experiments and phonics lessons.

My change in heart is partially because the public and Islamic schools in our area are not an option and partially because homeschooling has evolved. Homeschooling is no longer just about controlling the environment the child grows up in. It’s also meant to enhance their learning experience. Every child has a different style of learning and homeschooling allows you to tailor your curriculum for each style. Since children are given more one-on-one attention, they have more input in their learning experience. As the teacher, you also have the opportunity to include subjects not normally offered, or to speed up the lesson pace in areas where your child excels.

Add to that the fact that homeschooling materials are now readily available whether online or in print. There are affordable–even some free!–curricula to meet every need. If you prefer the more creative approach to teaching, there are templates, lesson plans, and suggested book lists for every subject. If you lean towards the stricter daily worksheet and scheduled assignment method, there are even state-funded online “public” schools that will provide you with books, science experiments, and even a monthly Internet stipend!

Homeschooling has come to be accepted in society as a legitimate method of education. Zoos and other educational attractions now offer discounts to homeschooling families. There are athletic leagues set up in major metropolitan communities dedicated exclusively to home-schooled children. And in almost every city you can find a support group not only for homeschooling families but for Muslim homeschooling families. These groups are great places to get ideas, plan activities, and set up science fairs and spelling bees. You can’t get any more real school than that!

Every family dynamic is different and what works for one doesn’t always work for another. Homeschooling takes a lot of time and dedication. However, with the advancements made in the last 10 years or so, homeschooling done right can be a fulfilling, well rounded experience.

InshaAllah in this series on homeschooling I hope to share my experiences on this journey as well as the many resources that I have come across.

The truth is, our itinerary is incomplete. We do have a destination we are waiting to get to. Right now we’re just sitting in an airport terminal. Waiting.

The waiting game of Hajj is like the waiting game of life. It’s what we do with that seemingly infinite amount of time that determines the outcome. And the ultimate outcome is the Hereafter. Which plane we board at that time depends solely on the actions we perform (or maybe fail to perform) today. One plane will take us up, the other down.

I didn’t want to face that reality. I wanted to remain in some sort of limbo. After my parents picked us up from the Intercontinental Airport of Houston and took us to their house I had no focus. I remember walking in there and helping my dad and Abdullah bring in our luggage. I remember walking to our bathroom and standing in the doorway with Abdullah. The bright whiteness of it hurt my eyes. I didn’t know a bathroom could be this white. We just stood there and commented on how we’ve never truly appreciated how clean this house is.

In this new light I looked at myself in the mirror and saw I had physically transformed. I was going to need to spend the next several weeks getting my strength and evaporated pounds back. But for now I was in relaxation mode.

I spent the next few days going to bed after isha prayer, sleeping like a baby, and then waking up early in the morning only to spend the day lounging about.

On the fourth day I finally went home. Everything was still sitting there just like I had left it. Some bags were here and there, some left over luggage I had chosen at the last second not to pack. Some laundry still needed to be folded or ironed. It was like I hadn’t gone anywhere. It was like I had walked through a wormhole in space and I was right back where I started.

I spent a few days clicking through the pictures I had taken in Makkah and Madinah. I was really there. I had performed Hajj. My forehead had touched the cool white tiled floor of the two Harams. I could check the fifth pillar of Islam off of my to do list. The question was where to go from here.

I didn’t know. So instead of doing something I became lazy. I found excuses to do nothing. The truth was that I was too scared to plunge back into life. What if something went wrong? What would happen about the sins I was going to commit now? What if things don’t work out? As I mentioned when this series started, I made Hajj into the point of no return. There was no other choice other than for me to make everything work – to take the cards I had been dealt and play them to the best outcome. It was time to move forward.

I almost regretted that I did because immediately the tests began. We came back from Hajj with enough money saved up to last us three months. We ended up having to tap into those savings quite early due to a couple of emergencies. One of us had to make a few trips to the doctor and get a very minor procedure done. Sometimes it was a multitude of small things but so many of them were coming down on us one after the other that it felt like a huge snowball about to run us over.

It was disheartening and then I realized Allah was just seeing. He was just testing us. He was having us pushed around to see how we would react. Would we lose our patience now that we were back from Hajj? Would we have changed the way we deal with people and situations? Would we be the man and woman we prayed to Allah to help us become?

I realized we were in the limelight. Allah was keeping a close watch on us and we were being tested. We continued to be tested week after week, month after month. Life resumed and life is hard. In the middle of the snowball I was trying to get my thoughts together. How could I become that woman I wanted to be when I got back from Hajj? How could I do all the things I prayed to do? How could I show Allah that I meant every intention I made sitting in the deserts of Arabia thousands of miles away from my life and obligations?

Some of Houston's interstates crossing over and under, merging and dividing. Just like so many of life's choices. The possibilities are endless.

All of these questions and the paths that they would lead to were like the Houston interstates, criss-crossing one another, weaving in and out, exiting off into hundreds of roads. Where would I go from here?

One day Abdullah asked me what I was going to do now. I thought back to the journal I had written in the entire time I was at Hajj. I thought back to an intention I had long ago before I left for Hajj.

“I don’t know,” I said to him. “Maybe I’ll write about Hajj.”

“I think that’s a good idea,” he said.

One of the best ways I stayed focus in the weeks and months to come was by keeping my Hajj trip close in my heart. I didn’t want it to be like a bride’s wedding day – it happens and it’s great, there are tons of pictures, but slowly you forget what you ate and who was there and what all happened. Those memories get buried underneath all the things the new memories and especially stresses that come after. I wanted to keep my Hajj trip alive. I didn’t want to forget the lessons I learned so I wanted to preserve them where that couldn’t happen so easily. Where I wouldn’t just watch my intentions to change wither away and get swept up by the torrents of life. I wanted to hold myself responsible for everything I felt during those five days of my life and the weeks surrounding them.

I felt there was really just one way I could chronicle the experience to keep myself focused on the change I promised myself and asked Allah so much to give me the strength to accomplish. So I wrote about it.

You know how the rest goes.



Author’s note:

Dear readers,

Thank you for taking the second round of this journey with me. I hope that you enjoyed reading and benefited from this series. If you know someone who is going to Hajj this year or someone who is interested in learning more about Hajj, please forward them the link to our website so they may learn not just the details of how Hajj is performed but all of the parts of Hajj that aren’t talked about so often and how to deal with day-to-day happenings in Makkah and Madinah. If you are going to Hajj this year please keep my family and I in your du’aas. May Allah invite you and all those you love to perform Hajj, ameen. May He forgive all of your sins and admit you into Jannat ul-Firdows, ameen.

Disclaimer: Details accounted in this Hajj series are mostly by memory. If a mistake has been made, especially in explaining something incorrectly about Islam, please contact us so we may correct it. If you have any questions, please post or email them. We will do our best to answer them here or in future chapters. Also, all names used in this series are aliases and not the real names of the actual people.