Grave Regrets
April 24, 2009 by Guest Authors
Filed under Motherhood
by Naiyerah
fictional poem
They piled the dirt over her body,
Burying my throbbing heart without mercy.
I crumbled to the ground, choking, suppressing my agonizing cries.
My mother disappeared right before my eyes.
I felt so alone, so deprived.
Mama, I just want to hold you – just one last time.
I knew the day was coming, but I just needed respite
To beg her forgiveness – to make it all right.
I’m sorry I raised my voice, and slammed the door in your face,
And vented my frustrations with shameful disgrace,
Causing your tears to stream down — leaving a trace.
A trace that carved into my heart
Excruciating regret and sorrowful hurt,
Because I made you carry the brunt
Of my mistakes, and harsh cruelty — at worst.
Mama, I just want to hold you – just one last time.
Why was I not always by your side, serving you with humility?
When you suffered sleepless nights to quell my anxiety
And planted in me the seeds of serenity
To live by the Qur’an and Prophetic civility,
And make decisions with wisdom and integrity.
You taught me to trust my God-given instincts,
To depend only on Allah and invest my talents,
To help the weak and needy, with constant radiance,
To speak the truth, even if it goes against the currents.
Your forgiveness stems from a mother’s loving heart, with certitude.
But will Allah forgive me for my ingratitude?
Commanding kindness to parents with excellence and fortitude,
Only second to prohibiting shirk, the crime of worst magnitude.
You were most deserving of my companionship, times three.
Our Beloved’s words reverberate: Paradise under the mothers’ feet.
Yet I frequently wonder: Do I deserve this rank, truly?
When I have fallen short – often-times daily.
Mama, I just want to hold you – just one last time.
An impossible wish, for now it is my turn
To realize; to Allah we belong and to Him is our return.
I beg your forgiveness, Allah, for all I have done.
Have mercy on my mother, as she raised me when I was young.
Grant me the light, knowledge and faith she possessed, as a loan,
And bestow on me guidance to instill in my own
What she has taught me, from Your blessings alone.
(6 votes, average: 4.83 out of 5)
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SubhanAllah!
what a moving poem!It makes me reflect on my actions as a daughter towards my parents.
Thank you Sr. Naiyerah! Masha’Allah beautiful poem!! Jazakillahu Khairan!!
Wa’iyyakum Laila! Insha’Allah it’s a reminder for all of us before it’s too late!
Assalamu Alaikum:
This really hit home for me, my umm passed away some years ago(May Allah have mercy on her, Ameen). This was very heart wrenching and brought a tear to my eye. Give your umm a call, a hug, an e-mail, a gift…before its too late. The last words my umm said to me before she went back to Allah was I love you and the next day, she was gone. From Allah we come to Allah we shall return.
Wa`alaykum Assalam Medina!
Jazakillahu Khayran for sharing. May Allah have mercy on your mother and grant her jannat al-firdaus! My grandmother passed away 12 years ago (she was crossing the street and was run over by a speeding car), but to this day I remember my father’s pain and how the suddenness of her death shocked my entire family.
The Messenger of Allah said: Remember the destroyer of pleasures (i.e. death), and one of the ways we’re forced to remember it is by seeing others pass away. It becomes a harsher reality when it’s our closest family members, but it gives us a wake-up call to the temporary nature of this life and reminds us that our true life is yet to come.
May Allah make our best deeds our last, and the best day the day we meet Him!
JazakhillLaah khayr for posting this. I really enjoyed reading this and what a wonderful reminder.