Khadija bint Khuwailid (ra)

A lady who experienced wealth and hardship, a mother whose children gained dignity of their own, a wife whose consoling words calmed the Prophet (saws) and an example for the world for generations to come: this was Khadija bint Khawailid, may Allah be pleased with her.

Khadija was born in 556 CE to Fatima bint Za’ed and Khawailid bin Asad, a renowned businessnman and leader from the tribe of Quraish. She married Abu Halah Malak bin Nabash at-Tamimi and had two children, Halah and Hind. He passed away later and she then married ‘Atiq bin ‘Aith al-Makhzoomi and had a daughter named Hindah. The marriage broke up due to incompatibility so Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, continued to run her father’s business. Her foresight in hiring the most qualified workers and her sharp business skills contributed in part to the success of her business. She would export fine Makkan goods to lands as far away as Syria through her managers and they would, in turn, bring back goods from other lands to Makkah, a central trading town in Arabia. The managers would get fifty percent profit, a promising reward and motivation.

Khadija had heard of the honesty and integrity of Muhammad, peace be upon him, and sent him a job offer, one he accepted. On one business trip, he was accompanied by Maysara, Khadija’s trusted servant. Maysara was amazed by Muhammad (saws)’s adherence to firm principle and character throughout the trip. On their return, Maysara related these incidents to Khadija who was beyond impressed with her employee Muhammad (saws). She was so impressed that she considered marrying him, since such qualities and traits displayed by Muhammad (saws) were not the commonality in all men.

One night, she dreamt that the radiant sun had lowered itself into her courtyard, illuminating her home. She went to her cousin, Waraqah bin Nofil, a religious man who knew much of the Torah and Injil, for an interpretation of her dream. Upon hearing her dream, he explained it was a glad tiding that the Prophet (saw)’s presence would grace her home. When Khadija heard this, her inclination towards marrying Muhammad (saws) grew. Her friend Nafisah bint Manbah knew of Khadija’s intent and approached Muhammad (saws) about this very subject. She requested his permission to ask a very personal question, to which he said he had no reservation. Subsequently, she asked him why he was not yet married. He explained he did not have such financial resources at the time. She then asked if he would be interested in marrying a beautiful, wealthy lady from a noble family who was interested in marrying him. He asked about whom Nafisah was referring to, and she told him it was none other than Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her. He said, Yes, he was willing to marry her, if she too was interested. When Khadija heard of this, she was elated and preparations for the wedding were soon made. The uncles of Muhammad (saws), Abu Talib and Hamza, may Allah be pleased with him, approached Khadija’s uncle, ‘Umar ibn Asad, with the formal proposal for marriage. Upon acceptance, the date was set, preparations were made and were soon carried out. Much festivity and happiness graced the atmosphere of the wedding and Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, was truly blessed with a husband akin to the bright sun, Muhammad (saws). Most reports indicate that Muhammad (saws) was twenty-five at the age of marriage and Khadija was forty years old, though according to one tradition, she was twenty-eight.

Khadija was blessed with not only Muhammad (saws) as a husband but also with six children. Two sons, Qasim and Abdullah, passed away while they were young, but Zainab, Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatima, may Allah be pleased with them, content, wonderful and intelligent, were daughters to be proud of.

Around this time, Muhammad (saws) would frequent the mount of Hira in meditation and worship. He never worshipped the idols of the Quraish, nor did he partake in frugal and wasteful activities of his people including drinking alcohol, witnessing obscenities and conducting oneself in rude and harsh behavior. He always felt unique and different in his beliefs and took the cave of Hira as a refuge. One night as he was there alone, Muhammad (saws) would leave being known as Prophet Muhammad (saws). He was visited by the Angel Jibreel. At first, when he heard the voice and saw the angel, he was shocked and terrified. The angel asked him to recite/read: “Iqra.” The Prophet (saws) explained, “I am not a reader/I don’t know how to read.” Again, the angel commanded him to read until finally it pressed him so hard that he felt like he would die. The angel finally told him what would be known as the first revelation, surah ‘Alaq or surah Iqra:

“Read! In the name of your Lord Who created, created man from a clot of congealed blood. Read! And your Lord is Most Generous. Who has taught the writing by the pen. He has taught men that which he knew not.” (96:1-5)

Then, the angel disappeared. Muhammad (saws) was left alone, shaking and quivering at this most astonishing experience. He ran down the mountain towards his abode with Khadija and when he looked up at the sky, every direction he turned towards the sky showed him nothing besides the grandeur of this angel. More terrified than before, he hastened towards his home. Upon seeing her husband in this shaken-up state, Khadija was surprised and comforted him to the best of her ability. He told her, “Cover me, cover me” and she calmed him, telling him not to fear. When he narrated the incident to his wife, Khadija soothed him more by saying that Allah would never disgrace him or humiliate him: he was good to the orphans, always helped others and always epitomized perfection of character and honesty. These simple words gave Muhammad (saws) immeasurable calmness and contentment.

Khadija took her husband to her cousin, Waraqa, and he explained that Muhammad (saws) was visited by the same angel that visited the other prophets with revelation. He told Muhammad (saws) that he would be driven out by his own people and he would be a Prophet. Muhammad (saws) could not believe it but later revelations continued to come, confirming this reality.

Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, continued supporting her husband, the Seal of the Prophets (saws) as he continued receiving revelation from the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. She spent her wealth in the cause of Islam and when the Makkans carried out a total political and economic boycott of the Muslims, she endured likewise. Khadija, a woman who grew up in the lap of lavishness, bore the hardships of sacrifice because she knew the Hereafter was more important than this life. Some Muslims during the boycott, including women and children, were so desperate and hungry that they would even eat leaves of trees to survive, but she persevered nevertheless. Unfortunately the boycott left Khadija extremely weak and she soon passed away. The Prophet (saw)’s uncle also passed away around this time, a double blow for the Messenger of Allah because the people who supported him most were now gone from this world.

Not only did Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, provide financial assistance to the cause of Islam but she also consoled the Prophet (saw), was the first believer and was a prime example for the Muslim women at the time.

Even after her death, the Prophet (saw) would send food to Khadija’s friends and always remembered her regularly. Aisha, may Allah be pleased with her, would proclaim her natural feminine jealousy to the Prophet (saw) whenever he spoke of Khadija. She asked him why he remembered her so much when now, Allah had blessed him with a younger, better wife. The Prophet (saw) got disappointed by this question. How could he not remember the woman who was there for him when the whole world was against him? How could he not appreciate the sacrifices of this noble woman of Quraish who gave up her content life for a life of sacrifice and utmost patience? And how could he disregard the pure beauty and faith of the woman who even Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) and the angel Jibreel had said salaam to? No, he could not and would not forget his Khadija, his first love, and neither should we. Her example as one of the four best women of the world shines brilliantly for us.

1. Her unshakable faith and acceptance of Islam as the first follower is an exemplary quality for us all! Whenever we see a chance for good, an opportunity to accept the truth and share it with others, we should hasten towards it without second thoughts. Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) encourages us in Surah Hadeed, verse 21 to “Race one with another in hastening towards Forgiveness from your Lord (Allâh), and towards Paradise, the width whereof is as the width of heaven and earth, prepared for those who believe in Allâh and His Messengers.” Even if we are the only people in our city to start a halaqa or study circle, the only person in our MSA to stand up for a positive idea or only Muslim in our school or workplace who avoids the bad and turns towards the pleasure of Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala), we should rejoice that we are in the company of a noble woman such as Khadija in our efforts.

2. We see that Khadija, may Allah be pleased with her, supported the Prophet (saw) in his most difficult moments through her consoling words, advice and wisdom. She was there for him when the world was against him. This demonstrates a key aspect of the Muslim marriage: mutual consultation, loving for the other what is best and making the life of one’s spouse easier. Khadija was a solid rock, a haven of security, for the Prophet (saw). We should ask ourselves: are we solid rocks for the spouses, parents and da’ees in our lives? Or do we just let them bear the burden of the world on their shoulders by themselves without doing our part to nurture, cultivate and encourage their good intentions and efforts more? A simple phrase such as “Thank you, Jazak Allahu khair, Great job, I love what you are doing and we all appreciate it” while you really mean it will probably encourage someone more than you imagine!

3. The most important quality of Khadija is that she preferred the Hereafter over the Dunya. She was willing to sacrifice her temporary lifestyle of comfort in order to gain the pleasure of her Creator. In life today, sacrifice is hardly a common word spoken of let alone thought of as a practical action to implement in our world of laziness and hedonism. But truly, life is a test and Allah will reward those who struggled, were patient and sacrificed. Allah, the Most High, says in Suratul A’la, verses 16-17: “Nay, you prefer the life of this world, Although the Hereafter is better and more lasting.”

Take this moment as you read to think about your priorities and what kind of person you would like to be known as to Allah on the Day of Judgment. One who passed the real test of existence – the one which the scales and our deeds alone will determine – or frugal pursuits of this temporary life.

May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) raise us all in the companion of the Prophets, Companions and Mothers of the Believers, among whom Khadija’s example resonates strongly. May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) help us to conquer our own nafs (soul) in order to come closer to Him and His Jannatul Firdous (Highest of Paradise), ameen.

References:
(1) Great Women of Islam, Darussalam.

Photo Courtesy: W