A Journey on the Balance

Naiyerah Kolkailah

Balance. Balance. Balance. Everyday is a struggle for balance — between the outside world and the world within, between work/studies and family, between seeking knowledge and sharing it, between giving and taking — and between mind, body and soul.

Every one of us has free-will and the ability to control how we spend our time. Yet, most of us face a continuous challenge in balancing our stressful commitments with personal and spiritual development. This dilemma is not necessarily because we do not recognize the value in such improvement, or do not want to improve ourselves physically, spiritually or intellectually. Rather, it is because the actions associated with such changes are not apparently pressing; nobody will fire you if you do not exercise every day; you won’t fail an exam at school if you don’t pray Qiyaam (night prayers) once or twice a week; and for sure your children won’t starve if you don’t keep up with the news on a daily basis.

In a fast-paced society, our lives are generally run by what urgently seeks and demands our attention – whether it be our family’s needs or deadlines at work and school. However, such a lifestyle can essentially stunt the personal growth that allows us to serve and contribute more efficiently to the various responsibilities we have. Conversely, increased personal development is a long-term investment that positively influences every realm of our existence. With a solid connection with Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala), we will be less impatient and more merciful with our families, co-workers, and fellow Muslims. When we lead a healthy lifestyle, our daily actions will be infused with more strength, energy and vigor. When we study history, politics, current events, and increase our cultural and intellectual awareness, we gain the knowledge and drive to be less self-centered and more service-oriented.

With so much to focus on in personal development, where does the journey actually begin? The basis to success in every aspect of our lives — and the integrity and elevation of the entire Ummah – is a sound relationship with Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala. Although we can label our studying, money-making, cooking, cleaning, teaching, and raising children as worship (assuming we do these acts sincerely for Allah’s sake), we should not be content with ourselves if these are the only ways we worship Him. Allah reminds us: “O you who believe! Let not your wealth or your children distract you from the remembrance of Allah. And whoever does so, they are truly the Losers” (Qur’an, 63:9). This verse implies that we should engage in a personal relationship with Allah (subhanahu wa ta`ala) that deserves separate time from all other stresses and commitments of life. It is a relationship of remembrance, praise, repentance and seeking help and guidance in all that we do.

So let’s follow the advice of our beloved Messenger (`alayhi assalat wassalam), who said that the best of deeds are those done consistently, even if they are small. Reading Qur’an 5-15 minutes a day with concentration and reflection is better than only completing the entire Qur’an once a year during Ramadan. Praying two or four rak`as of Qiyaam before we sleep every few days is better than joining a group Qiyaam every few months. Engaging daily in dhikr (remembrance of Allah) before sunrise and sunset is more spiritually uplifting than remembering Allah only in times of difficulty. An example of dhikr we should frequently say is “raditu billahi rabba, wa bil-Islami deena, wa bi-Muhammadin sal Allahu `alayhi wa sallama nabiyyan wa rasula” (I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my way of life, and with Muhammad salla Allahu `alayhi wa sallam as my Prophet and Messenger). The Messenger of Allah said that whoever says this in the morning and evening, “it will become a right upon Allah to please him and accept him” (Abu Dawud, At-Tirmidhi, Nisa’i, and Hakim). (To learn more du`aas and dhikr, view the online version of Fortification of the Muslim at makedua.com).

Once we have a daily and weekly routine of spiritual development, the internal harmony we feel will cause us to long for this solitude with Allah – possibly more urgently than our need to attend to our time-sensitive commitments. Such longing will help us attain a spiritual balance because we realize how vital our connection to our Sustainer is in maintaining tranquility in our hearts, how it positively transforms and eases our relationships with others, and that it is most importantly an investment for our success in the hereafter.

Our physical and intellectual development should stem from a similar framework of small and consistent acts. If we work out at least 20-30 minutes a day, either at the gym or by taking a brisk walk in our neighborhoods or a nearby park, the stamina we build and rejuvenation we experience will encourage us to increase the time we devote to improving our physical well-being. Every cell in our bodies will be prepared for greater challenges, and we will soon be enjoying more vigorous strength-training and cardiovascular workouts whenever we can dedicate the time.

A possible place to begin for intellectual growth is choosing books of interest that cover a wide array of (beneficial) topics, and making a goal of reading at least one book every month – while you simultaneously read/watch the news at least 30 minutes a day. Once we sustain a consistent habit of regular intellectual engagement, we can appropriate more time to seeking increased awareness — based on our interests as well as the needs of our society and Ummah as a whole.

One thing to be cautious of is not overwhelming ourselves with too many goals and unreachable expectations. By setting manageable and attainable goals along our journey of personal development, we build confidence in ourselves to handle more and challenge ourselves at a higher and more sustainable level. Lastly, let’s not forget to always seek Allah’s help in constantly improving ourselves so we can become more balanced individuals, mothers, daughters, students, and activists!

Photo: James Jordan