I find it sad that beauty is ONLY associated with the complexion of ones skin (and secondly their physical features). SubhanAllah, it’s a reality in our community that when a sister or a brother is seeking for a potential spouse they would look for individuals that are lighter then themselves. Partly, because they do not want their children to be “dark”!

While, others don’t care about skin tones (alhamdulillah) but their parents would not allow them to marry that potential spouse. It’s no secrete that sister of darker complexions (within their own ethnic/racial community) may have a difficult time finding a husband compared to their lighter sisters or white revert sisters. By difficult I mean they have limited amount of brothers to choose from. For example, they cannot marry a brother whom they like just because his parents do not approve of her being “darker” than their son. Don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing lighter sisters or white reverts. However, this is an issue that is commonly being practiced in our Muslim community. The least we can do is acknowledge that these type of racism are occurring. Hopefully, by acknowledging it we can move on to prevent such racism from happening inshAllah.

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So if someone says baby XYZ is dark/pale/green/purple/whatever I’d just say “Yeah that’s fine. I think he/she looks so beautiful.” – The first part of your sentence makes the assertion that there is nothing wrong with being dark / pale / green, etc., and that in your view and the views of your acquaintances, its PERFECTLY FINE. The second part of your statement goes one step further and reinforces the opinion that the baby is beautiful and that such superficial characteristics as being discussed are even worthy of being pursued.

Or you say something like “Thanks for your opinion, but I think she looks just fabulous! I wouldnt want to change her in any way at all!” – and flash a big smile and then go back to playing with the baby.

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I actually had written my final paper regarding racism within the Muslim community. Though it wasn’t fully developed as I had procrastinated But some of the realizations and reminders I had while writing it was

-how immigrants (mainly arabs/ indo- pakistani’s) feel the need to remain more dominant within the community and shut out others not from their race. I remember back in ISNA – there was a session with Imam Siraj Wahaj, and I specifically remember a sister, African American, who stated that in her masjid, she had repeatedly gone up to a sister (who was of Indo/Pakistani decent) and she REFUSED to give her the proper Islamic greeting in return. This sister remained persistent until the Pakistani sister had finally come to terms (with her own racism) and finally returned the salaam. Appalling much!

-I see that more of the American born (most) are more accepting of other ethnicity within their community, and the trend of inter-racial marriages are on the rise. (Wal Hamdulil Lah!)

-Another problem I see related to this is the role media plays in this. How the immigrant Arabs and Indo Pakistanis will view “others” as incompetent to the deen. I say this because often times I have heard “Dont play with this kid because he has a different upbringing than you” (or she) Subhan Allah, had it not been for the role of media (news, movies, etc) -most immigrants may not have so much of a problem with “mixing with another race”

But Islam tells us to see passed that, we are supposed to get to know one another.

“49:13 O men! Behold, We have created you all out of a male and a female, [15] and have made you into nations and tribes, so that you might come to know one another. [16] Verily, the noblest of you in the sight of God is the one who is most deeply conscious of Him. Behold, God is all-knowing, all-aware. ”

I look forward to reading more on this in sha’ Allah. Barak Allahu fiki Zahra M!

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Omar akhi, all our sisters and mothers are beautiful mashalla, regardless of their skin color. I’m married to the most beautiful gal around alhamdulillah and she’s not white! If Allah swt blesses us with children I will take it for what it is, a blessing not a worry on skin color! One of the things that must be remembered is what our Prophet salalahu alehiwasalem said in his last kutba was that no one is better than another because of his or her race but indeed it is their righteousness that their raab takes into account.

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I really do believe some of these ‘constructed’ versions of beauty run so deep in certain cultures that it’s hard to overturn them.

But interestingly, I think we need to REFRAME these standards. We need to look at them in another way.

For example, with dark skin, I read a book a while ago when I was in middle school or high school that was beautiful because someone told the main character who had dark skin and thought she was ugly that she really was BEAUTIFUL and gave her a nickname of: chocolate

Similarly, just this morning in my Sunday school class, a student of mine told me how her mom had a baby and we were talking about the baby and she said: but her skin is really dark. I’m like, “Hey…that doesn’t matter, I think dark skin is beautiful. ” She seemed happier after that.

wa Allahu alam.

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