Deaf Chat Diary

We were six Muslimahs from eight different ethnic backgrounds all walking into a coffee shop for something a little more soul-satisfying than the caramel macchiatos.

We were there to meet strangers of a culture we know so very little about: the Deaf Culture. Some of us are students of American Sign Language (ASL), others conveniently learned to finger-spell their name in the car on the way there, but for all of us this was our first Deaf Chat experience.

We honestly didn’t know what to expect at first. Should we walk in and approach the first person we see using ASL? I thought it would feel like showing up to a party uninvited…like a fish out of water. In fact the Egyptian equivalent to that saying is, zayy al-atrash fizzaffah literally translating to, like a deaf person at a wedding procession. Meaning: a Deaf person would feel totally excluded because Arab wedding processions traditionally consist of loud music and singing accompanying the bridegroom to his bride. Yes. I imagined myself feeling just like that, only in role reversal.

This was a last-minute plan so we decided to just wing it. It’s not like we needed to walk up to people and sign, “Hi. You’re Deaf. We’re Muslim. We probably don’t know much about each other, so…let’s talk!” We figured we’d just be well-mannered and friendly and let our actions (literally) speak louder than our words. So instead of going up to random people and signing, “Are you Deaf?” We opted for sitting around in our own group and practicing our ASL on each other. This worked wonders – within minutes we had people joining our group, some Deaf, while others were just fellow students of ASL. Before you knew it, we had a group of nearly sixteen of us sharing a very fun and meaningful semi-silent conversation. One thing I loved is how they all had personalized name-signs. Name-signs are abbreviated ways to sign your first name without having to f-i-n-g-e-r-s-p-e-l-l it out. Kelly is a swimmer so for her name-sign she moves the letter “K” in wavy outward motions like water. I made a sad face and signed “I want a name-sign!” so one of them signed the letter “A” after doing a wrapping motion around the face and then pointed back at me. Noticing my confusion it was then explained to me, “you wear a scarf so your name-sign can be the motion of wrapping your scarf around your face ending in the letter “A” for your initial.” How appropriately cool; I definitely approved!

I learned more signs in just two hours of socializing there than I did in two weeks of class! Immersing yourself into the culture and practicing with people outside of your comfort zone are the best ways to learn any language. We didn’t feel like outsiders at all. In fact, everyone was so friendly that at times they were repeating a sign five times in a row and resorting to mime just so we could follow the conversation. Even when I didn’t understand a sign after countless tries, they’d eventually finger-spell it for me. This left me feeling a little guilty. Here they were, over-accommodating our needs when we all know on a societal level it is the hearing community that neglects the needs of our Deaf neighbors.

Before this experience, I didn’t know a single Deaf person in my town personally. We all left the coffee shop that night genuinely wanting to see each other again at upcoming Deaf Chats and Silent Dinners. Hopefully next time, we’ll be better at signing and have to rely a lot less on “Charades”-type miming. Despite the obvious communication barriers between us, we learned that with just a little effort we were able to cross those barriers and learn to appreciate each others differences.
Interested in attending a Deaf Coffee Chat in your town? Check out http://www.deafcoffee.com. There is no charge for admission and you are not required to purchase anything at Starbucks so don’t worry, you can still get your “BOYCOTT ZIONISM” on.

Before going, you may want to check out http://www.signlabs.org to learn some useful signs and find out about ways you can help to improve Islamic education for the Deaf. (Be sure to watch the tutorials for ASL if you’re from North America and BSL if you’re in the UK.)

Photo Courtesy: Malika Balqis