Who are your role models, really?

If someone asks us who our heroes are, we’ll perhaps name the Prophet Muhammad — sall Allahu alayhi wa sallam — or one of the Sahaba, or Salahuddin, Zainab al-Ghazali, our parents, etc.

But in terms of our daily lives, who is it we really model ourselves after? Choosing a role model isn’t always a conscious decision. Sometimes we look to people as role models without even thinking about it. Not in the sense of the natural attraction to charismatic, successful individuals, but unconsciously deciding that a person or group of people are a standard by which to judge ourselves.

A quick example: I was born and raised in California, but I’ve been living in Turkey since summer 2007. When I lived in the States, through my collective experiences at my local mosque at home and later on in college and at MSA events and other mosques, I’d pretty much settled on an idea in my head of what constituted “appropriate” and “inappropriate” clothing for Muslim women, for myself and in general. However, after living in Turkey for a year-and-a-half, a country where 70 percent of women wear headscarves, my idea of what hijab, as a code of dress is, has completely changed.

What’s the difference? Before, in my head and in the popular mindset, hijab was all about a scarf on the head, all about covering hair. In Istanbul where I live, you see everything on the street from chadors to shiny silk headscarves in bright colors paired with knee-length skirts, calves exposed. You see all sorts of behavior from women dressed in all sorts of hijab. For the first time, I thought — and I mean really thought — about how much hijab is not merely about covering the hair.

It may seem like a very basic realization, but it really got me thinking about how much I relied on my own intellect and the opinions of those around me for interpretation of my religion. When we make our standard the fast-changing, transient dunya (our cultures and societies, politics) we’re standing on unsteady ground, and we open the door to inconsistencies and error in the practice of our deen. Alhamdulillah, Allah swt did not leave us to operate based on our insufficient personal experiences, but sent us the Qur’an as guidance. The Qur’an and the Prophet Muhammad, sall Allahu alayhi wa sallam, to show us what it means.

It’s something that deserves a good deal of reflection. Do we think the way we dress is okay because we’re on the conservative side of the spectrum in our community? Are we comfortable with a certain level of inter-gender interaction because it’s what we’re used to, or because our parents are fine with it? What about food, or interest on our money in the bank? I speak to myself first and foremost when I say we need to think outside the box of the here and now and look to the timeless wisdom of the Quran and the Sunnah and the best of their followers for guidance instead of tossing caution to the wind and placing our trust in the status quo.

We need to watch out for ideas we’ve formed about Islam that aren’t based on solid Islamic grounds. As women especially, our places and roles are being redefined every few years as societies decide on the latest greatest way to exploit women. In our modern societies of subliminal advertising, television/radio/Internet bombardment of false and superficial morals and value systems, along with hidden and blatant contradictions of what Islam teaches us, we need to be consciously aware of these influences.

I was reading Surah al-Fatir and some verses struck me as particularly relevant to this idea of awareness:

35:8: Is he, then, to whom the evil of his conduct is made alluring, so that he looks upon it as good, (equal to one who is rightly guided)? For Allah leaves to stray whom He wills, and guides whom He wills. So let not thy soul go out in (vainly) sighing after them: for Allah knows well all that they do!
35:19-22:
And the blind and the seeing are not alike,
Nor the darkness and the light,
Nor the shade and the heat,
Neither are the living and the dead alike. Surely Allah makes whom He pleases hear, and you cannot make those hear who are in the graves.
35:37:
And they cry for help there, (saying): Our Lord! Release us; we will do right, not (the wrong) that we used to do. Did not We grant you a life long enough for him who reflected to reflect therein? And the warner came unto you. Now taste (the flavour of your deeds), for evil-doers have no helper.

There is a difference between right and wrong, often (but not always) as plain as night and day, and Allah swt has sent us the Quran and the best of examples to help us discern between the two. It’s hard sometimes for us to tell the difference; we have shaytan, our nafs and other influences trying to blur the lines to make it difficult for us to see what is good and what is evil. We seek refuge in Allah from being among those whose evil deeds seem appealing to them, and insha’Allah Allah swt will make it easy for us to reflect upon the nature, manner, and intent of our deeds, ameen.

Photo: Thomas Hawk