Ameer Charming

Part 2: Searching for Mr. Right

If you are waiting for Prince Charming, or as I like to call him “Ameer Charrrrming” (roll those r’s!) to come and whisk you away in into the land of happily-ever-after, all I have to say, is “uh oh.”

You are about to be one damsel in distress. Sure, you may not be locked up in a tower somewhere, screaming for help. You will, however, have locked yourself into a cage and thrown away the key yourself the moment you think that someone else is responsible for your happiness.

I know what you are thinking. “Is she saying that having someone else in my life isn’t supposed to make me happy?”

Of course it should bring you happiness. Of course sharing your life, the most beautiful moments of your being with another person who witnesses your path in life, should bring happiness into your life.

The truth is, though, you are responsible for your own happiness.

Not him, no matter how charming. No matter how sweet. No matter how smart. No matter how good looking.

At the end of the day, it comes down to who you are, not who he is that will determine your happiness.

The mistake so many people make is that they are searching the world over for someone to complete them, without realizing that this isn’t possible.

Contrast this concept with Islam. Here we are told that spouses are like garments to each other. Spouses cover each other, protect and nourish each other, but that “other” is not a dependant.

You see, many people see relationships in a way that resembles parasites. I know this is kind direct, but let’s get to the point.

It’s all about you. Your whole focus in finding Ameer Charming is to think lf all of things he will give you, and do for you. You can’t have and won’t have so many things, you think, until he comes along and you are hitched.

You may very well find Mr. Amazing, and he may be a girl’s dream come true. But you are going to be his Ms.Parasite, because nothing he will ever do will be enough for you.

So let me repeat this to you: your happiness depends on you and you alone.

You decide how much gratitude you want to focus on in your life so you see the cup overflowing instead of constantly empty.

You decide how much you will appreciate all the things he does for you and you decide if you will be a person who focuses on what is always not perfect.

You decide how much love you will give unconditionally without expecting something in return, and you decide if you want a relationship of tit-for-tat.

You decide if you will try to control his friends, his decisions, his free time because of your own insecurities and you decide if you will trust him and learn how to be vulnerable (more on that later.)

You decide if you will be dedicated to Allah, follow the Sunnah of His Messenger (saw) and be a stronger Muslimah regardless of whether or not his iman is at a high or a low, and regardless of whether or not he has the ability to be a teacher and you a perpetual student.

The choice is yours.

I pray you do find Ameer Charming, and I pray that when he finds you, you are already working on a wholesome happiness that belongs to you and you alone.

No matter the fairytale in your head, there is always reality which is going to smack you up side the head! I mean, whoever imagines that the really nice, attractive, religious, pious brother snores loud enough to compete with a lawn mower?

Exactly. J

If this is all about you, and only you, then that white knight/mujahid who is going to come is going to disappoint you my fair maiden.

This will lead us to our next thought in our quest for true love…

(Megan Wyatt is currently a faculty member and speaker for PRACTIMATE’s new pre-marital training program for sisters aged 25-30 called “Find Your Mr.Right” For more information, you can visit http://www.practimate.com/FindYourMrRight )

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