Maybe there needs to be another article, ” Between Angelina Jolie, Halle Berry and Wonder Woman….” haha.

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I totally agree with you that we shouldn’t rely on someone else to give us happiness. We have to live in the moment instead of telling ourselves that we will only experience true happiness when we’re married. Although I’ve never been married, I acknowledge that it’s a completely different lifestyle and, as you mentioned, a huge life decision. Rather than wait around, we should be embracing the present and focus on discovering happiness within ourselves.

On a spiritual note, Allah tells us that we have a purpose in this world. We need to establish contact with that purpose because it is a portion of the world created especially for us. We must walk on the open road and be steadfast on fulfilling what we’re meant to do. As we pursue our ambitions, dreams, and purpose, we’re bound to find someone who is walking towards us from the opposite side of the road. This person is our Mirror, our Twin Half, our Soul Mate. When the time is right, Allah will reunite the Soul Mates. Until then, our focus should be on the open road.

Too much of anything is bad; if we’re too spiritual, we won’t be contributing anything to humanity since we’ll be isolating ourselves from the physical world. If we’re too worldly, then we’ll truly be dead since we’ll be too caught up in worldly affairs, deadlines, demanding tasks, etc. We won’t have much knowledge about who we worship, who we are, or where we are going. This is why it’s so important to establish a balance. To live for Allah subsequently means being a good human being. And a good human being helps his/her community and contributes good works to humanity.

I know there are a number of Muslims who think things like Romance, Love, and Bliss are abstract ideas, but the truth of the matter is that Love is the very source of our existence! How many times does Allah mention Compassion, Forgiveness, and Mercy in the Qur’an? More times than we can count because numerous times He says He is “All-Forgiving” and has “Infinite Grace.” As the 13th century Islamic mystic and poet, Jalaluddin Rumi, once wrote: “Love is a flame that burns away all that is not Allah.” That is why I believe Faith in Allah is the key to a successful, healthy, and happy marriage. The sky, the ocean, the fields, the longings of the heart, the Soul Mate — all come from Him. If we just acknowledge and embrace this Divine Truth, then things like a blissful Romance are very possible! Just imagine two Lovers Loving one another and being ever-grateful to Allah. It is so possible, but we need to change what is within ourselves first (as the Qur’an says). We need to rid ourselves of doubts and transform them into Faith.

I often get labeled as an idealist and a “hopeless Romantic,” but I argue that this kind of Love is the way of the Prophets. It is the reason why the Universe exists. It is the reason why we Breathe and Pray. Love is to Give and to NEVER take or demand something in return; that is why we learn from the Prophets and Allah (peace be upon them all).

May we all find our Soul Mates, insha’Allah. May Allah guide us and bless our lives with Beauty, Happiness, and Ever-Lasting Love. Ameen.

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I simply call all of this “unrealistic perfection ideal” an “illness of modernism.” The things we see (movies, photos…), we read, we listen, we hear they all come together and lead us to several misconceptions. In this age of information, we are flooded with all and every kind of information from all around without any control over it. These piece of informations keep coming whether or not we want them. At this point, I keep remembering “Ignorance is a bliss indeed.” Once we are surrounded by these unconscious messages, we begin realizing the other alternatives –way of life, clothing,etc,etc– and at some point, in particular when our connection to faith and Allah is weakened, we start fantasizing about perfect men, perfect lives, perfect houses and perfect everything and we forget that the real perfection is taking a shelter in faith. This way we can also avoid those unwanted messages and can prevent them from effecting us. As a young muslim woman I am in trouble too. I am not looking for the perfect man or something but I become dissatisfied with what I already have due to generosity of Allah; start having illusions that I should have that other kind of life which I have observed through a constant flow of information. Except the few exceptions around, we sure do want to have a companion whom we can share life with. But the trick is we should reconsider our definition of a good marriage, spouse, life and etc., our expectations, our “must list” and ideals because what we think is best or necesarry can be — at least some of them will definetely be– otherwise. We should stick to realities instead of fantasies, dreams and ideals forced upon us. As for my humble advice, at such moments we should all pray to Allah and say “Keep me safe form the disasters of my ego and its false directions.”

Busra from Turkey

p.s: I am not a native speaker, so apologies in advance for the mistakes.

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Oh and don’t forget the Beauty and the Beast advantage. If a beautiful yet insecure woman with self-esteem issues marries a man who has noticeable “faults” in his appearance, she feels like a princess next to him.

If a beautiful woman marries an ugly man it not only makes her look ‘good’ it makes her look better.
If a beautiful man marries an ugly woman it makes him look ‘bad.’

I’m not talking about making looks the basis of rejecting or accepting a proposal. However, to say that it isn’t a priority is hardly true (in most cases). Let’s stop denying it.

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