I agree with Abdullah and what he said about someone else getting misguided … Hoping a more mature article from you Cindy next time inshaAllah and yes this the posting of this article should be reviewed not everyone reads the comments below..

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

I really don’t see what is wrong with the married sisters acting the way they do around other single women, and the same for the men acting the way they do around single women. That’s what they’re supposed to do. When it comes to doing it in such a way that is inconsiderate to the third party, then that’s when it becomes a problem. But even then, we should ourselves be considerate of them, and try to be patient and understand that they’re just trying to protect themselves and their family.

Yes, it can get confusing at times, but we should just try to be more understanding and more considerate, for that is the better thing to do as a Muslim. And we should always try to improve ourselves for the sake of Allah.

Rather than trying to accommodate to each individual, it would be better to just act a certain way to all married couples, a way that will not make either parties uncomfortable. Instead of waiting for them to make their intentions clear, just assume that each couple would feel uncomfortable with another single person in the room, whether male or female, if the other is not present. And the Prophet sal Allahu alaihi wasallam said, “Leave that about which you are in doubt for that about which you are in no doubt.” (At-Tirmidhi)

And Allah knows best.

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

I’m sure every single person who has commented and those who haven’t but have read the comments deep-down knows what Shariah permits and what it doesn’t. Is an article like the one posted – which goes in direct conflict with the commandments of Allah Ta’ala – meant to be a “Quran for the 21st Century”?

Of course the Prophet of Allah (SAW) interacted with females. But did he sit in a gathering joking, winking and smiling to them? Did any of the Sahaba (RA) do this?

What is it with muslims today? Why is having a spouse not good enough? Why do you need ‘friends’ on the side? Islam allows contact with the opposite gender in situations of need. Beyond this, you delve in to haraam. Haraam doesn’t just mean fornication – any contact without need is also not permissible. We all know this.

And then people say it’s your ‘intentions’ that count. So I as a married man can have a laugh and a cuddle with my wife’s female friend because I want to promote their good friendship. Is that a good intention? And when I start developing feelings for her – then what?

Islam says do not even approach or come close to Zinnah. This means do not interact with the opposite gender unless there is need. There is no ‘good intention’ behind getting friendly with the opposite gender.

Really, please don’t just author articles to cause controversy when Islam has already drawn a line as to what is and isn’t allowed. You never know who is reading – if you lead someone to sin through your article, you will be held accountable.

Current score: 10 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

Alahamdullilah that we have our own feelings to sort through some things. I must add though, that Islam is a complete way of life and it shouldn’t change from “person to person”. The Quran and the Sunnah is our guide. Men and women are not created the same, according to Allah. It’s better to leave a message with a wife, or put it in writing, keep it short and concise, avoid inter-mingling, check your intentions, and fear Allah. This way you save yourself from the hellfire and possibly another believer.

“Indeed from the teachings of the first prophets which has reached you is, ‘If you do not have shyness, then do as you please.” (Al-Bukhari)

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! God is Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their chests, and not to reveal their adornment.” (Quran 24:30)

“If
you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in
whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire.”

“O wives of the Prophet! You are not like any other women. If
you keep your duty (to Allaah), then be not soft in speech, lest he in
whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire, but speak in
an honorable manner. And stay in your houses, and do not display
yourselves like that of the times of ignorance, and perform the
Salaat, and give Zakaat and obey Allaah and His Messenger. …” [Soorah Al-Ahzab 33:32-34].

Current score: 6 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

I don’t think men and women should be separated but I think that they shouldn’t be entirely mixed.

Current score: 1 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

Bro, I think you SHOULD be concerned when your wife hangs out with males alone and I think your wife SHOULD be concerned when you hang out with women alone. As the Nabi sal Allaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam told us, the third party is shaytaan. As much as you may think you will not fall into the haraam, you COULD.

I, personally, get along a lot better with guys cos I grew up with 3 older brothers and there’s less drama with ‘em. But…I know that as much as I tell myself I won’t fall into haraam, the fact that I am “friends” with them (which usually entails some type of close relationship) makes me feel uncomfortable. That doesn’t mean you cant talk to the opposite gender, but just make sure that it’s something that isn’t trivial and that there is proper conduct from both sides (i.e. following the Islaamic guidelines). I, too, am still trying to work on this, and believe me, I’ve got a LONG way to go, but I just felt that I needed to comment on your post.

As for the original post, I agree that the matters discussed should only be known to the shaykh cos you don’t want your business getting known to the entire world AND you want a qualified opinion.

jazakumAllaahu khairan, Assalam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah

Current score: 2 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

I’m not sure how many Muslim women you’ve met or interacted with, but there are plenty, in fact a majority who do not cover their face. Anyhow, lustful gazes are discouraged because they are just that…lustful gazes, whether from a man or woman.

Islam doesn’t discourage women from participating in life, only avoiding things which lead to unfaithfulness and immodesty.

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

I don’t know if this relationship of lust is the sole depiction of the Koran, or if this is the way scholars choose to interpret it so they can use it to their own advantage.

Can someone shed some light on the subject for me?

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)