Comments on: Why I don’t know how to be happy

By: Noor

Noor — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 09:29:55 +0000

As'salaam Walaikum, jazak'allah for sharing... ur words echo the thoughts in my mind and my life story.. "ur not alone" it's always nice to hear and read..jazak'allah Ws.

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By: sara

sara — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:07:13 +0000

beautiful!! i really loved it!!! thanks!

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By: AlDaEah

AlDaEah — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 16:38:40 +0000

Sister, may Allah bless you for sharing this painful part of yourself with us and for the discussion it has generated. If you only reach one person and help that person change their ways then you have acquired a great Ajir with Allah. Um-eesa brings up a great point about emotional abuse. Many think that abuse is physical when the most prevalent is the emotional abuse, the insults the reprimands that make one feel very small and insignificant. La Ilaha Ila Allah - Inahu Yahdi Man Yashaa.

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By: Alaa

Alaa — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:30:14 +0000

Masha'Allah sister, jazaki Allahu khyran for the great reminder. May Allah (swt) reward you for being patient and may He blesses ALL the sisters with husbands, whom they can describe the way you described yours...ameen.

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By: I AM

I AM — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 07:11:21 +0000

Peace, This was beautifully written. May God bless you for your courage and speaking the Truth that so desperately needs to be said. MANA has a program called "Sakinah: The Healthy Marriage Initiative" that is calling for masjids to provide at least 3 sessions of pre-marital counseling together, as well as providing training for marriage for all community members. The idea is that we spend years training for a career, but little to no time preparing for marriage. MANA wants to change that. Check out their website for more information. Their program was mentioned in the open letter that ISNA sent out to community leadership after Aasiya Hassan's beheading. Some Muslim social service groups in our local community want to approach the masjids with the idea of having brothers sign payment agreements for the dowry and even spousal support if the marriage dissolves, God-willing, at the masjid. We feel like signing payment arrangements in the masjid in front of an imam will help brothers realize that this is a right the woman has from God, and is to be taken seriously. Ideally, we would like to have a database between masjids so that if a brother is divorced because of abuse, he would not be able to get married again until he has rehabilitated. We realize that we are a long way away from that- but every idea starts with people clearing the psychological room for it. We need to take this issue seriously, as God will surely ask us about it on Judgment Day. Women were NOT made to suffer. They were made to worship God, just as men were. The Qur'an tells us that if a woman FEARS cruelty or desertion she can divorce- so the idea that she would ENDURE cruelty or desertion is absurd. God will not change our situation until we change ourselves, and I am becoming increasingly convinced that it is in the area of marriage and treatment of women that we need to make those changes the most. How can we have justice in society if we don't have justice in our homes?

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By: lat

lat — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 03:49:56 +0000

The article is wonderfully written.There are countless times I've heard women say that women are born to suffer and fate is never good to them.If there's anything good then it never lasts.Hope things will change for the better,inshallah!

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By: umm_eesa

umm_eesa — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 15:24:46 +0000

it's also important to note that not all abuse is physical...not all abuse leaves visible marks... mental/emotional abuse is also a great problem... may Allah help all of those in these situations and make a way out for them. Allahumma Ameen. Jazakillah khair for the enlightening article.

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By: Mohammed

Mohammed — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 04:38:59 +0000

Hey Salaam, thanks for writing this, Im positive it took a lot of courage. May Allah give you peace. There is something that you said, which hit a cord with me. I'm getting married in a few months, and this article just made me realize how much further I need to evolve in order to be ready for marriage, but more importantly to be someone who is spoken about like you speak about your husband. I will be the first to admit, my upbringing and my mentality are hot tempered. I would never hit someone, but I when I get ticked off my voice gets loud and I'm not a pleasant person. It is not often that I get annoyed, but it does happen every couple of weeks or so. She knows this, and she still wants to marry me. Ya Allah, I am blessed. I've really been trying my best to not lose my temper and I find the more regular my salah, the greater the patience I have, so I'm trying my best to keep them both in check. And I know even now, I have the ability to get annoyed quickly. I'm trying to work on it for sure, but this article really makes me jealous, because I want my wife to be able to speak of me like you speak of your husband. I would love to be able to not lose my temper, because I too want my wife to think she can do completely as she pleases and I will remain the rock in our relationship, so I'll just have to work harder. Thanks for the reminder. Im gonna do better InshAllah.

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