Moi, mi, ana, and well, me. The reigning attitude or motto that has permeated our way of thinking is all about the individual. I slaved through stacks of textbooks to get to UCLA, I have worked so much overtime interning at the law office to pay my tuition. I got this position as a director to pay for the house I bought; my Lexus is the money I earned by selling my shoe business.

Our life is saturated with “me” and we have forgotten that Allah (swt) is the One who has blessed us with our worldly fruits.

There is humility with Allah (swt): abstaining and condemning what is forbidden and promoting good. To do actions and behaving in order for Allah’s (swt) love to embrace us tighter. Then there is humility with the people around us: not being boastful, haughty, and arrogant.

The Prophet (saw) is the role model of what it is to be a humble person. How is it that we have forgotten this righteous path? We follow our Beloved with striving to complete the five pillars and yet we are unable to touch the North Star. We fall short of striving to inhale every smell of musk that emanates the air with the Prophet’s qualities.

It is well documented that the Prophet (saw) is held in great esteem for his superb traits and humility is just one of the many blooms from his garden.

It was narrated that al-Aswad said: “I asked ‘Aa’ishah what the Prophet (saw) used to do in his house, and she said”: “He used to serve his family and when the time for prayer came he would go out and pray” (Bukhari).

It is clear that it is permissible for a man to help with the household chores. The Prophet did not see himself as a superior in comparison to the rest of the people in the house. A Prophet, a man, a leader, the most perfect human being that has ever existed and yet the humility glows from his pious face.

With all of these titles, the Prophet is still gracious and humble enough to help and assist in things that needed to be completed within the family.

Another narration by Anas ibn Maalik said: “I never saw a man seeking the ear of the Prophet (saw) except that the Messenger of Allah would never turn his head from him, until the man turned his head first. Nor did I ever see a man take the hand of the Prophet (saw), except that the Messenger of Allah would never let his hand go until the man was the first to let the Prophet’s hand go” (Bukhari).

The Prophet (saw) is considered more than a king to us and yet his demeanor is quite the opposite of one. He lowers his wings and envelopes the believers in comfort and tranquility.

In this narration it is evident that Allah’s Messenger gave his sincere effort to assist any one who came his way; the Prophet was there for the Muslims until the believers felt they knew everything they needed to know and this hadeeth is a fact as well as a symbol that the Prophet (saw) did not let go until the believer was confident enough to do so.

Humility begins with accepting that Allah (swt) is the one who turns the earth on its axis, and that Allah (swt) is the Almighty controller and has given every strand of hair its strength with only His permission.

How dare we compete with Allah (swt) and think we are better than anybody? The Almighty is the ultimate Creator; therefore we should realize that nothing is more entitled to being so high but Allah (swt).

Allah (swt) does not like arrogance: “And turn not your face away from men with pride, nor walk in insolence through the earth. Verily, Allah likes not each arrogant boaster” (31:18). Why should we be arrogant and compete with one of the ninety-nine attributes of the Almighty’s?

We are servants and servants are not stereotyped to be arrogant or boastful so it is hypocritical if we behave as one. All of the successes and wealth and glory of this dunya is possible because Allah has bestowed that power on us and He can turn all of this into dust if He wills it.

Allah’s Messenger stated: “Allah revealed to me that people should be humble with one another to the point that none boasts over another” (Muslim).

The Prophet (saw) himself said that Allah revealed this fact to the Ummah and it is an issue to be concerned with. Humility brings people together.

When believers start boasting and competing with one another, feelings get hurt, friendships crack, jealousy ensues, bonds crumble, and blackness seeps into the hearts of the believers. Because we are weak as humans, our spiritual piety shrivels and crawls towards the devil’s paradise of pride.

Humbleness is just one cherry blossom from the branches of Islamic etiquette, a golden sliver of the Muslim identity. We must bow our heads in humility like the way of the Prophet (saw) and pray Allah loves us as much as our Beloved.

Mariam Al-Kalby has a B.A. in English Education and Creative Writing

I’ve been a Hijabi for a couple of years now, Alhamdulillah. When I think back to my first attempts to take the head-cover in an environment where it was something just not done anymore, it was a time of great excitement for me. I was passionate about covering up and, looking at myself in the mirror; I’d feel an Iman-rush that I was doing it exclusively for Allah(swt), even if people didn’t approve.

Fastforward to the present where the Hijab has now become something so inherently part of me that I’ve almost begun to take it for granted. When the doorbell rings or when someone visits, I instinctively reach for my dupatta to drape it over myself before a Non-Mahram walks in. The Hijab extends to male cousins as well so I cover up in pretty much all family occassions like parties and weddings. Although my Hijab is basically about covering my head and wearing full-sleeved dresses, not a separate coat or abaya, it’s still pretty distinct because in public, I’m not without it (Alhamdulillah).

Even after all this time, when I’ve also gotten used to the Hjiab, there are occasions which bring some Hijab-specific thoughts to mind. Lately, it’s been about dressing up and beautifying myself. Many people automatically assume that if you’re a Hijabi in public, you’re always like that, even when you’re at home or, ridiculously enough, when you go to sleep at night! Someone asked my sister, also a Hijabi, “So are you like this even when you’re just with your sisters?”  Where do these ideas come from?

I’ve had such experiences of my own too. It’s as if Non-Mahrams, who’ve always seen me covered since I started the Hijab, and even many women think that once you start taking a head-cover, you just glue it on! It’s like the end of all your feminine desires to dress well, wear trendy clothes, style your hair, apply make up and so on. Maybe that’s part of the reason some girls are reluctant to take the Hijab – they see it as symbolizing the demise of their feminine side and forever living life like a nun!

How can that possibly be? The Hijab only magnifies the joy of dressing up and the purpose of beautifying yourself. Only a Hijabi can truly appreciate why Allah(swt) laid down the principle of revealing your beauty only to Non-Mahrams. It’s not a free-for-all show anymore, where I become a show-piece, a star attraction for all the men in the world to feast their eyes on. In fact, that beauty now becomes something even more precious and exclusive to only those people with whom I am secure and safe… my Mahrams. I don’t have to worry about lewd stares that make me conscious of my hair rippling in the wind or that my arms are on open display to strange men.

Coming to another point… that of dressing up at home or around Mahrams. This is something that draws another kind of interest from people. So I like jewelery and I love to wear it when I can…nothing wrong with that, right? I wonder why it is then, that sometimes ladies and even Mahrams (may Allah guide them) point it out in a negative sense when they see me a little dressed up at home? Some seem to think it is because I feel “deprived” in my Hijab and I’m desperate to find an outlet for my feelings somewhere, hence the dangling earrings. Another confusion that’s in peoples’ minds is that you don’t need to beautify yourself at home. These people believe it’s important to look your best in public but when you’re at home, it’s okay to slack off – no wonder so many housewives present a very sorry picture at home but are seen in the most dazzling attires at weddings and other functions! How do their husbands recognize them on such occasions? He he!

I just have this to say… if I like to dress up and I’m doing so in a Halal way, without making a display of myself where I shouldn’t, there is absolutely nothing “odd” about it! In fact, just because other people find me odd, it doesn’t make my actions wrong in any way, as long as I adhere to the Islamic principles. And it’s not because I’m repressed, oppressed or suppressing my feelings in any way. I’m happy to present a good and well-dressed appearance to my Mahrams. Likewise, I hope to do so in my role as a wife too, InshaAllah… and guess what, that’s not only Halal, it’s a highly recommended Sunnah too. That’s how the Wives of the Prophet(saw), the Ummahat-al-Momineen lived too!

We forget that Allah(swt)’s decisions and commandments to us are full of unfathomable wisdom and the best way to live our lives. What He has asked us to do is never, in any way, a punishment. It’s only to make our own lives easier and more enjoyable on this earth. I wish women would realize this and beautify themselves in the right manner, for the right reasons. Makeup, nail-polishes, lipsticks, perfumes, gem-studded hair combs, bracelets, anklets, dangling earrings, bangles… all of these are Halal but adorn yourself in the right manner. That’s also one beautiful way of expressing gratitude to Allah(swt) for the perfect manner in which He created you!

Recommended reading: The Ideal Muslimah by Dr Mohammad Ali Al-Hashimi

Sometimes the noise distracted me. That Thursday, the music was unbearably loud, so I lost myself to thoughts. I wondered if I – if this generation of us, was responsible enough, wise enough, and sincere enough to carry the trust.

That same trust that we are trying to be a part of is the same one the mountains had rejecting carrying. Is it too big of a commitment?

After all, the best of mankind has already existed. The best women, and the best men. The mothers of the believers, and the prophets and messengers – they have all been here, walked on the soil, breathed the air, worshiped Allah, carried the trust, and went back to our Lord.

Maybe we ought to feel grateful that they have come and been already, before us, to lay us a clear and lucid path. We need not wait for guidance. It has come. Maybe we ought to be grateful that we are given a chance to dignify our souls by modeling our existence after these great people, who were great for Allah, with Allah and by Allah.

“Oooh, a Quran, can I have one?” I turned red as I realized I had been day dreaming. “I’m so sorry, of course you may have one!” Her earnestness was magnified by her smile. “And I don’t mean to offend you, but why do you do this? Why do you stand out here and tell people about your faith?”

I grinned. The exuberant college student made my day that Thursday.

Give thanks for the time – it lands us in magnificent opportunities, Alhamdulilah.

Noha A.

But it was just an act. How long would it go on? Even if it went on forever, I was never at peace with myself. “Oh woes me!!” ( I didn’t say it, but I sure thought it)… “Oh pooooor me!!! Having to put up with all of this wretchedness, this terrible lonliness.” Pretty pathetic, huh? I would pray to Allah(swt) to get me out of this situation…every night with tears brimming my eyes and a choked sob in my heart. “Oh woesssss me!! Allah(swt) make my situation better!!” (I poke fun of myself a bit, but I was really in pain; it is only in hindsight that I realize what was going on.)

Alhamdulillah, He(swt) did. I didn’t get to run away to Yemen/Egypt to be an alimah. I didn’t make a clique of Muslimahs. I didn’t get married to a brother(that’s the best thing since sliced bread), and I didn’t get a Muslim community.

Nope, but my situation got better, Alhamdulillah. I still live in the same area, with basically the same people, with a pretty non-existent Muslim community. So how has my situation become better?

I began to let go. I realized if there is a problem that I cannot change, then I must at least change my attitude about the problem. If for no other reason than to stand to live my life(however long or short) and not desperately seek refuge from it (my own life!).

I really had to magnify everything that was beautiful to me, even here, in nowhere, America…and readjust the focus on things which I disliked. It might sound a bit “tree-hugger”-ish, but I would walk outside and simply breathe in the fresh air, and take in the smell of wet soil after a rainy day… feel the sun on my face. Bring everything back to the basic things in life, so that I could count my blessings and not what I had been denied. There is so much wisdom in looking at the hardships of others. It makes you realize your own blessings. So what if I’m not surrounded by practicing sisters, Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal. That is definitely a great thing to have, but for those of us who don’t… you learn to live with it… There are people who do not have homes, or families, or food, or love. Some do not even expect these things in the near future. That helps readjust your focus. That helps make the contentment sincere. Not just feigning, but really being grateful to Allah(swt) for all that you DO have.

Whatever it is that I don’t have, is nothing in comparison to what I do. I have no room to complain. If there is a problem that I can’t change, or am not willing to actively take part in changing it, the least I can do for my own happiness and gratitude to my Lord (who is most deserving), is be grateful. Like Dave Ramsey says when people ask him how he is doing, verily in truth he answers, ” I am better than I deserve.”

We sure are Dave… we sure are.

Your Hijab is a sticky note—as a matter of fact, it may be several sticky notes, posted all over you. And the cool thing about those is that they are double sided. People in your environment(s) view them as do you. They (usually) get the memo, but for some reason, sometimes you forget. Was there ever that one time someone almost used a vulgar word and then suddenly put a hand over their mouth and apologized profusely? Ever had someone open the door for you with an extra wide smile? Hasn’t someone, at least once, approached you with a question or two about Islam?

I remember shopping at Marshalls, when I saw a young girl. She caught my attention because she had been grabbing for the same shawl I was about to place my fingers on. As I grimaced, she swiftly placed it atop her head and was busying herself with wrapping it. She turned to me and said “I want to wear it just like you!” She giggled and skipped to her mother, “Mommy, mommy, look!” My lips turned right side-up as I asked Allah to guide the young child to Islam.

Hasn’t hijab kept you from doing silly things as well? Hasn’t it served you efficiently as a clear cut boundary between right and wrong? It spares us the gray area, because, well, there are simply those things you don’t feel comfortable doing with a hijab on, like listening to music in the car, or giggling obnoxiously loud, or gossiping about those girls in your class.

So you decided to wear Hijab. You made up your mind – you want to be part of a great sisterhood – a movement – a nest of women, and so you start.

Your faith is revived, you remember Allah, you drive towards dawah in your actions, and you immerse in the essence of true femininity.

A few months later, you start hearing whispers. You start doubting your intentions. You wonder if you were wise in choosing the right time or biting off more than you can chew. You rethink your perception of Islam in your life. You ask whether this lifestyle or piece of cloth will interfere with your priorities and main goals in life. After all, you surely miss the wind blowing through your hair and the elegance of that topaz necklace hanging on your bare neck. It was modest enough you say to yourself. That’s when that piece of cloth becomes a hefty chore and our minds begin to feel a bit clouded and our purpose just a bit choked.

That is when we know it is time to ask: why am I wearing it again? What does it mean? This is the time to stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment or two longer as you pin it together—interrogating yourself for your purpose.

Sometimes those people that question us or smile in our faces lift our spirits, but it is vital that we maintain the purpose within ourselves. What if a whole month goes by and you feel like there’s ‘no effect.’ That is when you remember that you r hijab is for the inside just as much as it is for the outside.

Of course we all wear it because we know we are supposed to, but that doesn’t stop us from finding our individual reasons for relishing hijab. That shouldn’t stop us from being humbled by that piece of cloth we wrap around our head. It shouldn’t merely be a fashion statement, or an “oh by the way, I’m Muslim…” flag.

We need to remember that our hijab is a lot more than the visible physique. Hijab is a style of talking, walking, eating, building relationships, and overall carrying yourself. It is a way of being. It is a lifestyle. Before you think of how much of a reminder of God to other people you are, remember that that veil on your head is a reminder to YOU.

Your Hijab is a sticky note.

Humble yourself before it – for your Lord.

–Noha A. is a psychology student at the University of Miami. Although behavioral medicine intrigues her, its the University dawah activities and interfaith events that keep her spirit up during the day. She loves enriching her ’sisterhood experience’ by attending halaqas and spending quality time. Her dream is to become a pillar of the bridge that unites Muslims all around the world.

“Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to Allaah in Islam) men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in Islamic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient (to Allaah), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient (in performing all the duties which Allaah has ordered and in abstaining from all that Allaah has forbidden), the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allaah), the men and the women who give Sadaqat (i.e. Zakat, and alms, etc.), the men and the women who observe Saum (fast) (the obligatory fasting during the month of Ramadan, and the optional Nawafil fasting), the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember Allaah much with their hearts and tongues (while sitting, standing, lying, etc. for more than 300 times extra over the remembrance of Allaah during the five compulsory congregational prayers) or praying extra additional Nawafil prayers of night in the last part of night, etc.) Allaah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise).”

{al-Ahzaab; 35}

This verse was revealed after Umm Salamah radiyAllaahu `anha complained to the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam about the previous revelations being only about men.

It has been recorded by Imam Ahmad that Umm Salamah said: “I said to the Prophet , “Why is it that we are not mentioned in the Qur’aan as men are?” Then one day without my realizing it, he was calling from the minbar and I was combing my hair, so I tied my hair back then I went out to my chamber in my house, and I started listening out, and he was saying from the minbar:

“O people! Verily Allaah says: ‘Verily, the Muslims men and women…’ until the end of the ayah.”

Something that stands out in this verse is the mention of women alongside with men. We see feminists and the western media quick to label Islaam with being a misogynistic religion. Well, this verse being an epitome of equality between the two genders is a slap on their face.

Another lesson that we learn from this is the eagerness of the wives and (female) companions of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam had to compete with men in that which is good for their hereafter. We don’t see them complaining about not being able to work like men, rather, their concern is solely to seek the Pleasure of their Lord. They were women who had a vision and who made sure they had access to every avenue (as men) to gain the ultimate reward from Allaah (i.e. Paradise).

So Allaah mentions ten sifaat (characteristics) that the believers – both men and women – should have in order to achieve His forgiveness and the greatest of rewards, i.e. Jannah. These sifaat are our key to Jannah, so search your soul for them and try your utmost to not only develop these within yourselves but also perfect them.

Now, to derive maximum benefit from every word in this verse, I will dissect it into different parts by going over every sifah individually. The beauty of this ayah is that it starts with the core of everything that our religion is based on: Islaam (الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمَاتِ) = submission to Allaah and then followed by Imaan (الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ). Only after that does Allaah bring up the other sifaat. There is great wisdom behind this and that is to ensure that our foundation is sound and strong so that it will be easier for us to implement the sifaat that follow in the rest of this verse. Once we submit to Allaah, and believe that there will be a Day of Reckoning, our minds automatically accept every commandment that comes from Allaah, without question or doubt.

الْمُسْلِمِينَ - is from the root س ل م and from amongst its meanings are: security, immunity, submission, obedience, without blemish and so on. Essentially, it means to submit and surrender to the commands of Allaah. The word سلا م which means peace, also comes from the same root. There are two things to learn from here:

1. A person will not attain peace until he submits himself or herself completely to His Creator. We can acquire as much secular knowledge as we want, read as many books on positive thinking or bask in a  mountain of wealth and luxuries, but our hearts will not be at peace until we surrender to Allaah, i.e. we testify that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam is His Messenger.

2. Secondly, a Muslim as described in a hadeeth mentioned in Kitaab al-Imaan in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, is one from who’s tongue and hands other Muslims are safe [ ‏ ‏المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده]. A grammatical rule of arabic is that when something is mentioned with a definite article, it is indicative of the most perfect meaning of the word. So the word المسلم eludes to the fact that the Muslim is what is described in the hadeeth.  Hence, a Muslim be it man or woman is one who does not harm another Muslim, physically or verbally. We guard each other’s honor, and provide one another safety and security from ourselves (tongues and hands) and others.

In a hadeeth narrated by `Imraan ibn Husayn states that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam said: “I looked into Paradise and I saw that the majority of its people were the poor. And I looked into Hell and I saw that the majority of its people are women.” (al-Bukhaari/ 3241, Muslim/2737)

This is because of our tongues. Very so often this organ prevents us from attaining that which is good and brings us nothing but distress when its void of the remembrance of Allaah. Al-Khattaabi said: “There would be great good in seclusion even were it to bring nothing more than safety from backbiting and from seeing evils which one cannot remove.”

With regards to the first point, we often think that saying the shahaadah is sufficient for entrance into Jannah but we are only deceiving ourselves. The saying of Wahb ibn Munabbih summarizes the above very well. He was once asked: “Is not the testification that ‘none has the right to be worshipped save Allaah’ the key to Paradise?” He replied: “Ofcourse, by every key has its teeth: if you bring a key that has teeth, the door shall open; but if not, it will not.” [Bukhaari, Kitaab Janaa'iz]

Tips for self-betterment:

1. Make a habit of renewing your Imaan every day. Every morning you wake up, renew your commitment with Allaah and every night before going to bed, take your soul and your deeds into account.

2. Be sure to never leave your salaah. Its an act of submission to Allaah so make every effort to pray on time and perfect your salaah. It is the key to improving your connection with your Creator.

3. Repent, repent, repent! You can never repent enough.

4. Avoid backbiting, gossip and unnecessary talk. If you are in a gathering of women thats full of gossip, excuse yourself and leave. Seclusion in a cave is better than sitting in company like that.

5. Some of the righteous Salaf have said that, it is a sign of the slaves fiqh (knowledge of the religion) that he concerns himself with enhancing the status of his Imaan when it experiences a decrease. So identify the things that decrease your Imaan and once you do, stay away from them. Likewise, keepy yourself constantly busy with things that increase your Imaan.

Yep, we could barely feel it, a feeling you get when the warm, lazy summer days oozing with nostalgia slip out of your hands, a feeling akin to realizing you are no longer a teenager but an adult now… a feeling that you’ve done injustice with the time given to you. We’ve all read those amazing Ramadan articles and heard those tear-jerking lectures, right? They make us say, masha’Alah tabaarakAllah, ahsant, baarakAllahu feekum…they really and truly do happen to motivate us, even if we can’t implement all the great advice given. Those checklists? Gangsta, totally. They laid out for us A-Z where our eeman and actions could potentially be…someday. The talks after taraweeh? Inspiring, maybe helped us to evaluate our own wrongful states of soul. But, you can’t be serious that Ramadan is already leaving, can you?

The thing is, Ramadan is leaving, that’s for sure. But the feelings of guilt, the pangs of “I-wish-I-woulda-spent-less-time-on-{insert time wasting habit}-and-more-in-Quran-reading-and-charity-etc.,” continue to swoosh over your confused mumbo jumbo of an existence and refuse to leave, even after Ramadan. We end up carrying these negative feelings about ourselves throughout the year, blaming ourselves that even in the month of Redemption from all sins, we failed.

But is this the way we want to remember Ramadan? Do we want to keep feeling guilty and do nothing about it? Is there a chance for acquiring that fresh, clean, slate of opportunity left, even though there are only, like, a few more days of Ramadan left? The answer is, yes. There is always a second chance. And a third. And a fourth. And oh so many more.

In a Hadith Qudsi, Allah, The Exalted, says, “O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it.” (At-Tirmidhi)

The fact of the matter is, the doors of Allah’s forgiveness are always open. We might have started Ramadan with a motivation high and dipped and now we are feeling so guilty about ourselves. We may have continued to indulge in bad habits throughout Ramadan and now feel guilty comparing ourselves to others who seem to have benefited so much more than us. We may have been oh-so-busy with midterms in school, family pressures or work deadlines and couldn’t devote ourselves like we wanted to. Or maybe we didn’t even fast properly, pray on time or anything while the dunya kept distracting us. Our soul, whatever state it is in (and this matter is only known to Allah), is crying out for help: “What can I do???”

Some sincere suggestions, first given to myself:

1. Be happy you feel guilty. We are only human and make mistakes. Now use that guilt to better yourself and not to keep pushing yourself down. Remind yourself that Allah’s doors of mercy are always open. Now, go for it. Take the negativity, out. Period.

2. Call out to Allah from the depths of your heart. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “ad-Du’aau huwal ‘ibaadah” – Du’a is worship. Calling out to Allah, asking of Him, proclaiming His greatness is one of the best ways you can redeem yourself. Ask of Him sincerely. Don’t make it into a robotic thing!

When you go about your everyday actions- taking public transport, walking on your high school or college campus, sitting in your cubicle at work or treating patients at work, playing with your baby child, doing your homework, brushing your hair, whatever it may be, remember Allah with your heart. At a random moment when there is a minute, just remember God. Remember Allah.

About to walk into the class you despise at school? Enter with a whispered Bismillah. Who knows it but you and Allah? No one. Face it, you saw a good-looking celebrity on the cover of the magazine, knew you wanted to look again, but turned away with a whispered, Authu billah (I seek refuge in Allah). There’s sweetness in that, no doubt about it. Who would know that your heart screamed SubhanAllah on your evening commute, even though your stomach was rumbling and head pounding because iftar time is close and you’re drained. But you saw that mountain and remembered…Had Allah sent down the Quran on a mountain, it would have crumbled…SubhaaaaanAllah. Allahu akbar. That emotion, that high, that feeling of connecting with Allah is a beautiful thing, it is Dhikr (remembrance) that is a blessing from Him. No feeling could replace it, truly.

It’s CHEESY one might think to try to create these intimate moments between you and your Rabb (Lord), but who said cheese is bad? In fact, this ‘spiritual cheddar’ as I like to call it is a remedy for all our souls, it’s a medicine highly needed for our plethora of spiritual diseases.

Ibn al-Qayyim (rahimahullah) has a powerful statement on this same topic. He mentions in al-Fawaaid, “If you seek to purify your soul, prefer Allah to your desires.” Think about this…be real with yourself, evaluate what are those desires and worldly pursuits which may be taking over your life, and once you’re truly honest with yourself, insha’Allah change will be right around the corner.

You’re human, suck up to it, you’re no angel. Despite that, keep remembering Allah in your daily routine, create these small, beautiful moments, and insha’Allah this is a sign of victory over your own soul.

3. Last 10 nights? Keep up with the marathon…Read Quran. Recite the du’a “Allahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibbul ‘afwa fa’fu ‘annee” excessively–O Allah, You are pardoning and You love to pardon, so pardon me.’ “(Ahmad, Ibn Majah, and Tirmidhi). Pray at night, even if for 15 minutes or ½ an hour before Fajr. You’re already gonna wake up for suhoor right? Then just pray a little. Make du’as for those things you really want and need. Allah will answer, insha’Allah, or give you something that’s better.

4. Think about Eid, it’s popping up around the corner soon, but make sure to not only think about Eid. Let’s try to use every minute possible to remember Allah. Even while wrapping those samosas, say Alhamdulillah. While making goody bags for the little kids, start with Bismillah. While cleaning your room, play your favorite surah. Point: keep the beautiful atmosphere of Taqwa – God-consciousness—alive in your life.

5. Keep the spiritual cheddar going. If you’re running a marathon, as Ramadan is likened to sometimes, you need to make sure you sprint in the last portion. Do that. And remember, our entire life is a marathon, so don’t give up those good habits you acquired in Ramadan when Ramadan is over.

May Allah (swt) accept all our good deeds, help us create those intimate, spiritual cheddar moments with Him and grant us, our loved ones and the entire humanity and ummah into His guidance and into the Highest of Paradise, Jannatul Firdous, ameen.

* Etiquette of the prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) in the last 10 nights: abstain from sexual desires, practice itikaaf and even seclude himself from his wives.
* Al-Bukhari and Muslim record from ‘Aishah that during the last ten days of Ramadan, the messenger of Allah (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) would wake his wives up during the night and then remain apart from them (that is, being busy in acts of worship).
* A version in Muslim states: “He would strive [to do acts of worship] during the last ten days of Ramadan more than he would at any other time.”
* The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) would fasten his loin cloth (like rolling sleeves up; meaning he would abstain from approaching his wives even at nights) in these last 10 nights.

During this time we are constantly reminded to engage in nafl salaat comprising of long standing at night and increase our recitation of the Quran. But for some of us, this might be a time when we are going through our menstrual cycle (or post-natal bleeding).

Naturally, it is not easy to stay positive at times, especially when we see the world around us rushing to masajids for taraweeh prayers, indulging in ‘itikaaf and reciting the Quran. This might lead us to feeling deprived of the reward of these blessed nights and decrease our spirituality rather than increasing it.

In this article, I hope to highlight some practical ways in which you can make the best of last 10 nights of Ramadan while going through your menstrual cycle (or post-natal bleeding), without feeling “left out”.

First and foremost, realize that our menstrual cycle is part of Allah (swt)’s creation and something that is ordained by Him (swt).

Allah (swt) tells us in the Quran that He has created us in the best of molds (Surah at-Teen, verse 4). We are also told in the Quran that for everything Allah has “appointed a due proportion” (Surah at-Talaq, verse 2-3) and that “for every matter there is an appointed time given” (Surat ar-Rad, ayah 38).

Thus, to complain about it would be to question the Wisdom of Allah (swt), a’uoodubillah.

Some women think it is more virtuous to fast even though they are on their menses. In their ignorance they make this exception in the month of Ramadan. But rather, they need to realize that it is more virtuous for them to comply with the Command of Allah (swt). It is more rewarding for them to do as they are told by Allah (swt) i.e. not pray or fast while they are on their menses.

Also realize that there are many other ways of achieving spirituality while we are on our menses besides salaah, siyaam and itikaaf.

The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) is reported to have said that, “Dua is the very essence of ‘ibadah.” The prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) said, “Allah is in the assistance of [His] servant, as long as the servant aids his brother.” He (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) also said, “Whoever feeds a fasting person will have a reward like that of the fasting person, without any reduction in his reward.”

Listed below are few suggestions that a muslimah can do while she is not fasting due to menstruation or post-natal bleeding.

Wake up at Fajr time

* Repeat after the fajr adhan
* Make dua between adhan and iqaama
* Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
* Make fajr adhkar:
o 10 times: “la ilaha ilAllah wahdahu la shareekah la, lahul mulk wa lahul hamd wa huwa ‘ala kulli shay’in qadeer.”
o Recite ayat al kursi
o Recite surah Ikhlaas, surah Falaq, surah Nas – 3 times
o Other adhkar found in Fortress of the Muslim
* Say the morning adkhar
* Read an English translation of half-juz of the Quran

Enjoining good: encourage your family to pray Salaat al Duha

The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) called it the salah of the obedient. Reported by Imam Ahmad in his musnad: Abu Hurayrah (radhi Allahu ‘anhu) narrated that the prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) would never miss the salat al-awabeen, which was Salat al Duha.

Duhr time

* Repeat after the duhr adhan
* Make dua between adhan and iqaama
* Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
* Engage in more dhikr and dua

Asr time

* Repeat after the asr adhan
* Make dua between adhan and iqaama
* Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
* Engage in more dhikr and dua
* Read an English translation of half-juz of the Quran

Maghrib time

* Repeat after the maghrib adhan
* Help people break their fast by passing out dates and water
* Make dua between adhan and iqaama
* Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
* Engage in more dhikr and dua

Isha time

* Repeat after the isha adhan
* Make dua between adhan and iqaama
* Make dua for intercession of prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) after the adhan
* Engage in more dhikr and dua
* Have family circle time at home
* Have a male member of the house recite the Quran to the rest of the family followed by tafsir of those ayat

Before sleeping

* Make wudu (this even applies to women with menses)
* Recite surah Mulk
* Ask your spouse for forgiveness before sleeping
* Recite ayat al kursi
* Make dua and dhikr

Other acts that can be done

At the masjids

* Spread salaams at the masjid
* Sponsor iftaars at various masajids if possible
* Volunteer for masjid clean up afterwards
* Babysit during Taraweeh so that the mothers (and everyone else!) can pray with khushu’ and concentration
* Make a CD of beautiful Quran recitation and duaas in mp3 and distribute it to people at the masjid

At home

* Have a qiyaam program for other sisters at your house – prepare iftar and suhoor for them
* Look for new converts, those who are newly practicing or people who have lost touch with the community and invite them over for iftar and eid
* Think of eid party ideas/gifts for family, spouse, children, neighbors

In your own time

* Memorize ayat of the Quran – use online resources
* Donate everyday – clothes, money
* Make tawbah and shukr
* Memorize Allah’s names and their meanings
* Find out who is sick in your area or in the hospital and go visit them
* Always keep your tongue moist with the dhikr and remembrance of Allah (swt). Say subhanAllah, alhumdulilah, la ilaaha illalha, Allahu akbar and say salaams on the prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa salam) while cooking, cleaning, driving etc. and may Allah make these words heavy on your scaled on the day of judgment.

Some information has been taken from the following sources:

1. Closed Doors and Opened Eyes: Spirituality for the Non-Fasting by Shazia Ahmad
2. A Muslim Day in Ramadan – Morning till Evening; Ilminar by Sh. Riad Quarzazi

Kanika Aggarwal | http://habibihalaqas.blogspot.com
Kanika is an engineer by profession, a convert to Islam pursuing bachelors in Islamic Sciences, keen student of knowledge, involved in giving halaqas and regularly do one-on-one motivational talks with sisters, running websites: http://habibihalaqas.blogspot.com, www.hindustoislam.com

One aspect of our religion that seems to be a ritual nowadays is modesty. It is thought of as only a piece of cloth, a particular manner one upholds when dealing with someone of the opposite gender or, at times, it’s just lip service to counter the lewd state of today’s media, television and pop culture.

So then where does this modesty come from actually? The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wassalam) told us “Indeed from the teachings of the first prophets which has reached you is, ‘If you do not have shyness, then do as you please.’ ” (Al-Bukhari)

Clearly, this quality of shyness and modesty goes beyond just covering, lowering our gaze and dealing modestly with others around us, though all of these are indeed important and well established practices of our Deen. It is a sense of being in which an individual knowingly restrains him or herself from doing what is wrong and what displeases Allah. It is when one gives up random, heedless thought, statement or conduct in favor of guided, purposeful manner encouraged by the Creator.

Shyness from Allah, therefore – shyness in commiting a sin in secret or public, in being ungrateful to Him– must settle in the heart first and then manifest itself upon the limbs. The fact that Allah the Most High is watching each and every one of us and will take us to account should be our ultimate motivation to be shy and modest.

When it comes to sins, we ought to think, would you do this if the Imam of your masjid was watching you? If no, how about if the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah upon him) was witnessing your act? How about then the Creator and Sustainer of the Worlds, Allah, the Most High – He is always watching us. Some scholars put it well when they said, “Don’t be shaytan’s enemy in public and best friend in private.” For shyness and modesty to truly be a part of us, it must be inculcated in our hearts and minds 24/7.

It is then important to realize that cultivating the seeds of modesty starts with the realization that Allah is watching us at all times and will take us to account. It should remind us all that we are at war with Shaytan, the accursed one, and we need to safeguard our Eeman and souls from the massive daily attacks we face. Among other things, the seeds of modesty reap immediate crops. Did you ever have that one good deed you knew you should do or that one particular sin you knew you should stop? Well, this sense of shyness should be the tipping point for you to get on the bandwagon of Allah’s Pleasure. It should encourage each and every one of us to give up backbiting once and for all, take the initiative to finally speak to our neighbors with a good word, prioritize giving our family members their rights and control our anger when we are about to say something we’ll regret forever. This sense of feeling shy of Allah should of course also manifest itself in other ways such as dealing with others in the society respectfully, wearing modest clothing and lowering our gaze.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told us, “Every religion has its characteristic and the characteristic of Islam is modesty.” (al-Muwatta)

The point is, however, where does this modesty begin? It begins with the realization of our purpose in life. Thus, by keeping true to our purpose that Allah has laid out, “I have not created men or jinn except to worship Me alone” (Surah Dhaariat, verse 56), by letting our heart submit to our most perfect Rabb and by allowing shyness of Him to create a beautiful framework of ethos in our life, the rest of the limbs will, inshaAllah, follow suit.

Photo:  khyes

Everyone on this earth needs someone to depend on, to rely on for help, advice, or support. Even the strongest individuals need to turn to someone, seeking comfort. Some find comfort in this, others in that. However when we look close enough, the only real comfort we can ever achieve is when we turn to Allah subhanahu wata’ala, in worshipping him and seeking help from him. I’ve never had an experience where speaking to Allah has not given my heart rest, unlike the few incidents in my life when  I’ve forgotten (as do all the children of Adam a.s.) and made the mistake of turning to those who I think can bring me comfort; friends or family.

I don’t wish to sound like a cynic, (although at times it may seem like I am) but the truth of the matter is that people will always disappoint you. Always. Why is that? The answer is simple: we expect too much from people. We expect them to know what we’re going through without us telling them what happened. We expect them to know how we feel without expressing our feelings. We expect them to know what to do when we ourselves don’t know what we want them to do!

Knowing all this, why do we keep turning to people for comfort? Why is that after recognizing this, the next time you or I have a problem, chances are we’ll make the same mistake as we have in the past. The answer for this is even simpler; it’s our lack of iman. Our faith in our Creator is missing a big component: tawakkul. We forget that everything is in the hands of Allah.

Remember the hadith of the Prophet SAW: On the authority of Abdullah bin Abbas, who said: One day I was behind the prophet and he said to me: “Young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice] : Be mindful of Allah, and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah, and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, ask of Allah; if you seek help, seek help of Allah. Know that if the Nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, it would benefit you only with something that Allah had already prescribed for you, and that if they gather together to harm you with anything, they would harm you only with something Allah had already prescribed for you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.”

We face disappointment in our lives ONLY because we forget the fact that whatever has occurred is from the will of Allah and ONLY he can change it. So why don’t we ask of him? Yes, it is true that we may find that others can help us, but they are only the means of support, whereas Allah is the support.

So let’s re-evaluate our level of iman. How much tawakkul do we have in Allah?  How much trust have we placed in him with our affairs?

“Allah alone has the knowledge of what is hidden in the heavens and the earth, and everything shall ultimately return to Him for decision. Therefore, worship Him and put your trust in Him, and your Rabb is not unmindful of what you do” [11:123]

I swear by Allah, if we worship him and trust in Him, we will never experience any sorrow or grief in this dunya.

Author: Anonymous.

Photo Courtesy: Stuck in Customs