Some have sentimental value, like the one my friend borrowed from me when she took her shahada. The colors matched her outfit perfectly and I always smile whenever I wear it.

A few are made of somewhat coarse material, but what they lack in refinement they make up for in sheer beauty.

Some I take leave of with a sigh of relief, others I never want to stop wearing. A few fall through the cracks, and I stumble upon them waiting patiently for me to discover them again after weeks or months. Others sit on top of the pile, always calling to me loudly because I’ve fallen into a well-worn groove of wearing three or four hijabs that always work.

Some are great for working out in, some are perfect for parties, some are subtle and refined for everyday work wear, and some are just plain…weird.

Regardless, I kinda love them all. A lot.

By Running Muslimah

Running Muslimah hails from sunny Orlando, FL. You can follow her adventures in fitness at her blog, Running Muslimah: http://runningmuslimah.wordpress.com)

Here’s what I learned:

1. Immediately afterwards, don’t expect your face to look any different than if you just had a facial (disappointing, I know). But within a few hours, you will be gleefully amazed at how fresh your skin is looking and how your flaws and imperfections are already disappearing before your eyes.

2. Be prepared to put time into this. You’ll have to do several peels frequently (every two weeks), even if you have overall great skin and only minor flaws. This isn’t laser people. I was very disappointed when I found this out but overall I’m satisfied with the results. Also, be prepared for a strict facial washing-masking-moisturizing regime post-peel that will take up some time every morning and evening for a week after each peel.

3. Be vocal about the problems you have with your skin. No matter how obvious they are, if you don’t say ‘em, she won’t fix ‘em. I thought that I need not utter the words “blackhead,” “milia,” “broken capillary,” or “under eye circle” because my esthetician could clearly see these flaws, but then I felt disappointed when I was only being treated for skin dehydration (over exfoliation at home isn’t good after all!) and I had to cough up the guts to discuss, one by one, my issues.

4. Trust what your esthetician tells you you need. I’ll admit to being very opinionated and thinking I’m always right, and the organic, non-chemical peel I was recommended for just didn’t sound drastic enough to fix all my skin issues in one session (hint: it won’t). So after getting home, as disappointed and red-faced as can be, I researched (googled) to my heart’s content and…voila! She was right! All my skin care concerns are specifics for organic, non-chemical peels. I’m happy now, and I should have had more faith in the woman doing my peel.

5. Be prepared to spend more money than you anticipated. My post-peel kit came for free, but the products I am using are truly amazing. IMAGE skincare has a new line of organic products called Ormedics, and these are more expensive than drug store products, but the difference in my skin is already like night and day for me. You may wind up buying something even if you go into the clinic, completely oblivious and happy with your current skin care regime.

So, if anyone is thinking of having a peel done, I wanted to recommend the one that I had done and also, I hope the tips helped! May He bless all of us with inner beauty (of course) and beautiful skin too.

Click here to find out more about Chemical Peels and their types.

Have a personal experience with chemical peels? Tell us about it here!

“Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to Allaah in Islam) men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in Islamic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient (to Allaah), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient (in performing all the duties which Allaah has ordered and in abstaining from all that Allaah has forbidden), the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allaah), the men and the women who give Sadaqat (i.e. Zakat, and alms, etc.), the men and the women who observe Saum (fast) (the obligatory fasting during the month of Ramadan, and the optional Nawafil fasting), the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember Allaah much with their hearts and tongues (while sitting, standing, lying, etc. for more than 300 times extra over the remembrance of Allaah during the five compulsory congregational prayers) or praying extra additional Nawafil prayers of night in the last part of night, etc.) Allaah has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise).”

{al-Ahzaab; 35}

This verse was revealed after Umm Salamah radiyAllaahu `anha complained to the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam about the previous revelations being only about men.

It has been recorded by Imam Ahmad that Umm Salamah said: “I said to the Prophet , “Why is it that we are not mentioned in the Qur’aan as men are?” Then one day without my realizing it, he was calling from the minbar and I was combing my hair, so I tied my hair back then I went out to my chamber in my house, and I started listening out, and he was saying from the minbar:

“O people! Verily Allaah says: ‘Verily, the Muslims men and women…’ until the end of the ayah.”

Something that stands out in this verse is the mention of women alongside with men. We see feminists and the western media quick to label Islaam with being a misogynistic religion. Well, this verse being an epitome of equality between the two genders is a slap on their face.

Another lesson that we learn from this is the eagerness of the wives and (female) companions of the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam had to compete with men in that which is good for their hereafter. We don’t see them complaining about not being able to work like men, rather, their concern is solely to seek the Pleasure of their Lord. They were women who had a vision and who made sure they had access to every avenue (as men) to gain the ultimate reward from Allaah (i.e. Paradise).

So Allaah mentions ten sifaat (characteristics) that the believers – both men and women – should have in order to achieve His forgiveness and the greatest of rewards, i.e. Jannah. These sifaat are our key to Jannah, so search your soul for them and try your utmost to not only develop these within yourselves but also perfect them.

Now, to derive maximum benefit from every word in this verse, I will dissect it into different parts by going over every sifah individually. The beauty of this ayah is that it starts with the core of everything that our religion is based on: Islaam (الْمُسْلِمِينَ وَالْمُسْلِمَاتِ) = submission to Allaah and then followed by Imaan (الْمُؤْمِنِينَ وَالْمُؤْمِنَاتِ). Only after that does Allaah bring up the other sifaat. There is great wisdom behind this and that is to ensure that our foundation is sound and strong so that it will be easier for us to implement the sifaat that follow in the rest of this verse. Once we submit to Allaah, and believe that there will be a Day of Reckoning, our minds automatically accept every commandment that comes from Allaah, without question or doubt.

الْمُسْلِمِينَ - is from the root س ل م and from amongst its meanings are: security, immunity, submission, obedience, without blemish and so on. Essentially, it means to submit and surrender to the commands of Allaah. The word سلا م which means peace, also comes from the same root. There are two things to learn from here:

1. A person will not attain peace until he submits himself or herself completely to His Creator. We can acquire as much secular knowledge as we want, read as many books on positive thinking or bask in a  mountain of wealth and luxuries, but our hearts will not be at peace until we surrender to Allaah, i.e. we testify that there is no deity worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam is His Messenger.

2. Secondly, a Muslim as described in a hadeeth mentioned in Kitaab al-Imaan in Saheeh al-Bukhaari, is one from who’s tongue and hands other Muslims are safe [ ‏ ‏المسلم من سلم المسلمون من لسانه ويده]. A grammatical rule of arabic is that when something is mentioned with a definite article, it is indicative of the most perfect meaning of the word. So the word المسلم eludes to the fact that the Muslim is what is described in the hadeeth.  Hence, a Muslim be it man or woman is one who does not harm another Muslim, physically or verbally. We guard each other’s honor, and provide one another safety and security from ourselves (tongues and hands) and others.

In a hadeeth narrated by `Imraan ibn Husayn states that the Prophet sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam said: “I looked into Paradise and I saw that the majority of its people were the poor. And I looked into Hell and I saw that the majority of its people are women.” (al-Bukhaari/ 3241, Muslim/2737)

This is because of our tongues. Very so often this organ prevents us from attaining that which is good and brings us nothing but distress when its void of the remembrance of Allaah. Al-Khattaabi said: “There would be great good in seclusion even were it to bring nothing more than safety from backbiting and from seeing evils which one cannot remove.”

With regards to the first point, we often think that saying the shahaadah is sufficient for entrance into Jannah but we are only deceiving ourselves. The saying of Wahb ibn Munabbih summarizes the above very well. He was once asked: “Is not the testification that ‘none has the right to be worshipped save Allaah’ the key to Paradise?” He replied: “Ofcourse, by every key has its teeth: if you bring a key that has teeth, the door shall open; but if not, it will not.” [Bukhaari, Kitaab Janaa'iz]

Tips for self-betterment:

1. Make a habit of renewing your Imaan every day. Every morning you wake up, renew your commitment with Allaah and every night before going to bed, take your soul and your deeds into account.

2. Be sure to never leave your salaah. Its an act of submission to Allaah so make every effort to pray on time and perfect your salaah. It is the key to improving your connection with your Creator.

3. Repent, repent, repent! You can never repent enough.

4. Avoid backbiting, gossip and unnecessary talk. If you are in a gathering of women thats full of gossip, excuse yourself and leave. Seclusion in a cave is better than sitting in company like that.

5. Some of the righteous Salaf have said that, it is a sign of the slaves fiqh (knowledge of the religion) that he concerns himself with enhancing the status of his Imaan when it experiences a decrease. So identify the things that decrease your Imaan and once you do, stay away from them. Likewise, keepy yourself constantly busy with things that increase your Imaan.

But we want to make this Ramadan/Eid a blast with beautiful and creative da’wah (outreach).

We know our actions speak WAY louder than our words, and we’ve already exhausted our vocal chords at every opportunity–describing the wonderful and colorful ethnic foods, community gatherings, and heightened worship for Muslims in this amazingly blessed month with our co-workers, neighbors, and friends of other faiths.

We need positive, kinesthetic activities that provide opportunities to celebrate and learn about Ramadan for our children at home, our local youth groups, and even charity organizations…and did I mention we’re still on a budget?

We need to promote hunger awareness, find an attractive means to explain what Islam is all about, and find some halal fun time with our girlfriends who are fasting alongside us in this joyous month.

And our wonderful Prophet asws taught us words that are reiterated by so many of the wisest Muslims in our blessed community—Tahaado, Tahabbo… “Give gifts to one another and you will love one another” (Bukhari).

So, the answer?

Make Some Edible Da’wah!

Step 1 – Consider the questions below when creating your overall theme:

- Who are you making these treats for? Coworkers?  Co-Muslims?  Neighbors?  The relationship you have with the recipients of these beautiful gifts should, in part, dictate your overall theme.   Also, who are you making these treats with?  If you’re doing this project with children, take their opinions into consideration!  Do they have a favorite theme they’d like to use?

-  What is the message you are trying you promote? Would you like to simply wish a blessed Ramadan, include a few key pearls of Islamic wisdom for your fasting siblings in faith, or explain what Islam is all about in a few words to your neighbors?  Please keep in mind that for legal reasons you should not proselytize (openly promote faith) in the workplace.  The below example I made for my co-workers and my students and I kept the message universal (world hunger) and steered well away from any religious language.

-  What tiny treat would you like to use for your crafts? Do you bake ooey-gooey should-be-world-famous brownies?  Mouthwatering fudge?  What about lemon tarts?  I used baklava because I have a great family recipe (photographed below), but anything homemade gives a very sweet impression (pun intended), although I’m sure you could get away with just buying a bunch of fresh sugar cookies at your local deli.  Also keep in mind your time concerns and budget—baking an already-prepared box of cupcake mix is much easier, cost-effective, and foolproof than making baklava from scratch!

-    What color theme would you like to use? Oh, don’t we love colors!  The best thing about these fun treats is that you can actually make them as professional—or as fun and cute—as you’d like.  A lot depends on what kinds of supplies you choose to purchase and make sure to pay attention to the details!  The below examples are more whimsical, as I work at a community college and the atmosphere is pretty laid back.

Step 2 – Gather Supplies.

Ok, so now that you’ve set a theme it’s time to get the goodies.  What you’ll need:

-    Prepared bakery food of choice

-    Colored Cellophane Wrap

-    Matching Napkins

-    Ribbon

-    Of course, scissors, hole puncher, and access to a printer

Step 3 – Design your gift tags!

I’m not much of a graphic designer myself, but if you search the web you can find many appropriate pieces of artwork that you can use to design little gift tags on your computer with a simple Ramadan Message.  Take your computer art to your local Kinko’s or print them on your home printer (I put eight to ten on a page), cut, hole-punch, and you’re almost ready to begin with the fun!

Remember to keep your theme in mind as you’re creating your template.  You can use a more ethnic theme, like the one to the bottom (image used from a screen saver found at www.imuslimz.com):

Or, you can have a little fun with color with something like this quirky design to the bottom (the Ramadan buttons were taken from www.silverenvelope.com):

You can also use photographs of flowers, nature, or even personal pictures that you have taken.  If you have kids, I recommend having them draw up Ramadan art cards and then scanning their artwork (if you can).  When you scan their work onto the computer, you can then use it as a colorful backdrop to create very personalized Ramadan tag’s for the family—and I’ve tried it…they come out looking gorgeous!

One thing to keep in mind when making your design is to always leave room for where the hole-punch will go.  In the above green design, I punched holes to tie ribbon at the bottom left hand corner, which is why it’s blank in that region of the design.  In the colorful design to the right, I simply left enough space at the top to hole punch right in the center of the corkboard above the button.

Just keep in mind that whatever your design is will basically make or break your overall theme—so if you’re going for a professional black-and-white, you may not want to find fruity pictures or images that may be beautiful but are mis-matched.

Step 4 – Get bakin’!

For this craft escapade, I made two trays of baklava: one with roughly thirty pieces and one with forty.

In all honesty, I’ve tried using our secret family recipe and trying low-fat or non-sugar (Splenda, gah!) variations of this blessing-from-Allah-of-a-sweet, but nothing does it justice.

My advice?  DON’T experiment with new creative recipes or variations of tried and true recipes at the last minute.

I went with classic ingredients and the tray you see to your left was dubbed by my diabetic-slash-former-chef father the “best ever made.”  Now, I know he’s A. Biased because I’m his daughter and B. Previously deprived of baklava for years now because of his condition, but the feedback certainly gives you warm fuzzy feelings.

So think of those warm fuzzy feelings while you bake, and good luck making a recipe of something that rocks—even if it’s those oh-so-easy-to-make-gooey-(halal)-crack brownie boxes!

Step 5 – Prepare Supplies.

This is the part where you cute squares of cellophane a little larger than the size of your napkins, like so:

Then, you cut pieces of ribbon and, if you’d like, curl them with the scissors, as displayed below.

You also prepare your little gift tags—cut, hole-punch, and thread with the ribbon:

And—one of my favorite parts—roll up your little napkins like scrolls and make sure to tie them before they unroll!  The image to the left is the little napkins, and what I found out the hard way is that most people eat their baklava, throw away the napkins assuming they’re just scrolls for décor, and then approach me asking if I have any (yes, you guessed it) napkins.

Spare yourself the heartache and tell your gift recipients right off the bat that the decorative scrolls are also functional.  Please.  You didn’t spend that dollar in the Party City clearance rack for nothing, did you?

Step 6 – Make a Demo:

I always make a demo before I get started, just to make sure I’m not missing something.  Here’s the first little before:

…And then a little after!  If you’re the kind of person who wants to make sure everything is absolutely perfect, you may want to make your demo before Step 5 so that you can make sure you’re cutting the cellophane at the right size, using the right colors, etc.

Step 7 – Portion out your sweets and begin wrapping!

The wise will heed—it’s much more time efficient to set up an assembly line type of workstation for these sweets.  This way, if you’re working in a group you can also delegate various tasks to different people and everything should go like clock-work.

Step 8 –Trouble Shooting:

Running out of ribbon?  Gift tags?  Anything is possible.  I ran out of colored cellophane and guess what I had to use (hint: look above).

…Can you find the oddball out?

The main thing to keep in mind is that these are fun and you can’t be too picky.  I wished mine had come out more uniform, more photo-worthy, more “insert-random-criticism-here.”  But the main thing is to lighten up and appreciate your work, regardless of how “perfect” it could have, would have, or should have been!

Step 9 – Lastly, enjoy your work and happy gifting!

And more colors!

The End

]]> http://www.muslimahsource.org/wellness-health/edible-dawah-crafting/feed/ 7 http://www.muslimahsource.org/wellness-health/shed-crazy-from-your-life/ http://www.muslimahsource.org/wellness-health/shed-crazy-from-your-life/#comments Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:56:44 +0000 Guest Authors http://www.muslimahsource.org/?p=1050 It’s a harrowing experience faced by women everywhere: entering a department store fitting room. As our eyes catalog every wrinkle, dimple and pimple, the well rehearsed spiel begins: If only I did more crunches…If only I didn’t eat that chocolate croissant…If only I walked more…If only I didn’t have such a stressful job…If only I had time to work out…

You know what I’m talking about. There’s a pretty good chance it’s a variation of “Eat Less, Move More.”

Across this planet there are scores of Muslim woman trying on pants, shirts, skirts, jilbabs, hijabs, abayas, shalwar kameez, and dresses, to name a few articles of clothing. It is very likely you have been one of these women.

Perhaps you have looked in the mirror with a sort of dejected horror as the pants don’t fit (the infamous Muffin Top comes to mind), the shirts look misshapen, the skirts hang a good two inches off the ground due to your enormous thighs (you are convinced they look like beached whales when you sit, and nothing anyone says will convince you otherwise), the hijabs highlight your double chin quite nicely, (no amount of tugging under the chin will cover it, as scarf is determined to slip back to original location) the abayas and jilbabs which once upon a time slid on effortlessly now catch at alarming points on your hips, and no amount of embroidery on the shalwar kameez will disguise the rolls of fat on your belly.

Perhaps most of this is an exaggeration, but one thing is for sure: Few are the women, Muslim or otherwise, who relish a trip to the fitting room.

Why is this? For Muslim women in the United States, the culture of thinness/fitness/ideal body type resembles the inside of a schizophrenic patient’s brain. Stick-thin models gaze alluringly at us from the glossy covers of magazines, right next to the packages of Ferrero Rocher and Snickers Bars. Shiny, happy THIN people on the telly bite delicately into a Dove chocolate bar, crunch potato chips, nosh on McDonald’s French Fries whilst sucking down carbonated beverages through plastic straws, all with a smile on their faces. The sad reality is that someone somewhere is forlornly eating her way through a package of Dove chocolate bars, or wiping grease stains and crumbs off her fingers as she reaches the bottom of the Doritos bag, or feeling bloated and overstuffed because she just got off from work and gave in to the fast-food drive thru.

We are bombarded by artificiality everyday: pretend women with pretend bodies on billboards, advertisements, television, movies; fake food with fake natural ingredients and fake coloring; empty promises as every diet and exercise machine claims to give us the body we want, the body we deserve to have, the body we CAN have with just 5 payments of $19.95. Limited time offer, don’t delay.

We live in a culture of Satisfaction Now. The amount of choices in any super center chain, for example, is staggering. Hundreds of makeup choices, dozens of toothpastes, breakfast cereals, shampoos, anything you want is available in every color, shape and size.

It’s a war zone out there. And many of us find ourselves ill-equipped to fight. What can we do? I started writing this as an article for Muslim women about shedding weight, but I now dub it, “Shedding Crazy From Your Life.” Weight is simply one symptom of a larger problem.

Some things I’ve learned:

1. Turn television/internet/Facebook OFF.

This right here, ladies, is probably one of the main reasons we’re packing on a few pounds too many. Watching America’s Next Top Model will not make you skinny by osmosis. Regarding the internet, I admit my weakness is Facebook. I log on to check my email and find myself drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Before I know it, half an hour has gone by and all I’ve done is read a few useless emails and found out one of my girlfriends scored as “Hot Hijabi” on the “What Kind of Hijabi are You?” quiz.

We need to lock away that laptop and start living! Which leads me to…

2. Walk.

This is the most beneficial exercise we can do, period. While cross-country skiing may burn a billion more calories per hour than walking, chances are pretty good that in your lifetime, you’re going to walk more than you ski. Especially if you live in Florida. If you aren’t currently engaged in exercise and think walking is too easy, try walking for just half an hour. Believe me, it’s tough, especially if you’re just starting out. Instead of watching television or eating out of boredom, put on some sneakers and hit the pavement. The great thing about walking is you don’t need any special equipment for it. If you don’t feel safe walking in your neighborhood you can go to a mall or a gym. Many parks and middle/high schools have quarter-mile tracks. Get moving, girl, and not only will you feel better, you’ll look better too!

3. If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it.

If you can’t pronounce the ingredients, there’s a pretty good chance you don’t want that stuff in your body. If the ingredient list takes up half the packaging, that is also not good. Food that comes out of the earth is always the best. Try experimenting with cooking your own meals and buying your own produce. The best feeling in the world is knowing exactly what you’re eating, made to your own specifications, and just how beneficial it is to your body. Onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplant, squash, carrots, pomegranate, peaches, apples, bananas, lentils, blueberries, strawberries…the list is unending. So many delicious and healthy options that Allah (SWT) made for us! Look up recipes you want to try online or in a cookbook, and ask friends and family for their favorite recipes. Pretty soon anything artificial will taste just that: artificial.

(Another note: stay far, far away from genetically modified/engineered produce. They’ve been given the equivalent of plant steroids. Anytime you see a super huge tomato or banana, the chances are pretty good it’s been genetically altered.)

4. Purge.

I don’t mean the “bent over the toilet, sticking a finger down your throat” purge. I mean the, “Do I really need another purple hijab?” type purge. Our environments are a reflection of ourselves. When we maintain a clean, organized, and clutter-free living space, it helps us feel organized and clutter-free inwardly as well. It’s a positive feedback loop. Donate any clothes, books, or bric-a-brac you aren’t using to a local shelter or among your family and friends. Recycle old scrap paper. Dust off that ceiling fan. The best thing is you’ll find all your missing hijab pins.

5. Read.

There is nothing like living vicariously through the lives of someone on paper. Books and stories transport us to the past, hurtle us into the future, or keep us in the here and now. Books open up whole new worlds for us. We are inspired, shaken, moved, amused, angered, heartbroken. There is nothing else quite like it. Read for fun, read for education, read for knowledge, read for the thrill of it. Just READ!

6. Learn something new.

Now that we’ve put away the computer, what do we do with all this free time that’s suddenly sprung up? Why not start learning Arabic, or memorizing the Quran? Maybe you’ve wanted to learn to knit, or take horseback riding lessons, or learn how to play tennis or go skydiving. Do it, girl! And when you’re done, teach the rest of us!

7. Help someone else.

More often than not, we look to others who have more than us as a barometer for our situation in life. Why not look to those who are not as well off? Try volunteering at a local shelter or Habitat for Humanity, or find out if there are Muslims in your community who need assistance. By helping them, you will truly appreciate how fortunate you are and it will insha Allah change your whole outlook on life.

8. Be grateful.

Give thanks to Allah (SWT) for everything you have. Most of us have all the faculties of seeing, hearing, taste, touch and speech. We have roofs over our heads, food to eat, and a comfortable bed to sleep in. We have educational and vocational opportunities, we have clean water to drink, we have peace of mind when we leave our homes that we will not be shot at or bombed. We have so much to be thankful for, alhamdulillah.

9. Keep yourself busy, and DON’T GIVE UP!

Nothing like idle time to start a pity party. Your daily routine should not allow for time to mope about and feel sorry for yourself. Yes, you’re overweight, yes, that paper is due tonight, and yes, gas is still approaching what you’d like your GPA to look like. The latter you can’t do anything about (except try to drive as little as possible…there’s an idea!) but as for the other options, you CAN change your habits. Don’t give up. With patience and perseverance you can attain your goals. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. When you’re feeling emotional or overwhelmed, instead of reaching for those Goldfish crackers, take a deep breath. Sit down, or lay down. Think about what’s really bothering you. Ask Allah (SWT) for guidance and patience. Catalog the steps you need to take to eliminate or deal with the stressor, and then methodically go about doing it. Don’t hesitate, don’t wait for a better time, don’t procrastinate, jump up and do it!

10. Treat yourself with respect.

“You have probably noticed that the lady of your acquaintance who thinks of herself as a duchess may cause a good many laughs, but usually, in the main, is treated like a duchess–in so far, at least, as her friends know how a duchess should be treated. It is equally true that it is the lady who expects orchids who gets them, while you and I are pinning on a single gardenia.”

Marjorie Hillis may have penned this 73 years ago, but every word still applies today. In order to gain respect, we must act in a way deserving of it! So enough with the self-deprecation, enough with the human garbage disposal act if there is leftover food, enough with thinking we are unworthy of love or appreciation or attention. We ARE worth it. Our bodies and minds are a trust given to us by Allah (SWT) and we should treat ourselves as something precious to be treasured. Let us let only the finest, most wholesome food pass through our lips; engage ourselves in thought-provoking and positive pastimes; avoid vain talk; maintain positive, cheerful attitudes that uplift those around us, and cherish the time that Allah (SWT) has given us on this earth.

11. If you don’t love it, don’t buy it.

Well, MAYBE if I lose a few more pounds/kilograms, this might fit… NO. Just, NO. Stop right there sister. If you don’t positively, absolutely love it, don’t buy it. It’s just that simple. Don’t project into the future, don’t buy clothes that MIGHT look good on you only IF you lose weight, just don’t do it. Buy clothes that fit the body you have now. And if you’ve been holding onto those jeans you fit into in high school or college, be realistic. If you know deep down that you may never fit into them again, give them away. If you think you might fit back into them without your legs looking like sausage links…go for it. Keep a pair or two to celebrate your victory in. But please don’t keep your entire jean collection from way back when. Does anyone really want to see those clothes again?

As for workout clothes, “modest” is not synonymous with “crappy.” You can still workout in modest clothes that look nice and make you feel good about yourself. Many clothing stores have nice loose workout pants and long shirts or hoodies. Check the clearance racks, especially now with the start of summer. You’ll find a lot of nice, long-sleeved shirts and pants. Add a coordinating hijab and you’re good to go!

12. Drink water.

There is nothing more refreshing than a nice, tall glass of cool water on a hot day. Cut down or completely eliminate artificial sodas, juices, and mix drinks. They’re full of sugar and high fructose corn syrup. If you need some sugar have a piece of fruit or mix some lemon/lime juice and honey into water to make a refreshing lemonade or limonade! Keep a bottle of water with you and sip throughout the day. It keeps your body fresh and flushes toxins out of your system. Many times when you think you’re hungry, your body is actually trying to tell you it’s thirsty! So drink up!

13. Learn the power of “No.”

This is a tough lesson to learn. There will always be another event, another party, another fundraiser, baby shower, wedding, halaqa, weekend seminar, online seminar, lunch date, dinner date, breakfast date, brunch date, conference call, and so on and so forth. Learn that you don’t have to attend every single one. “No” is such a simple yet loaded word. We’re so afraid of alienating and offending people we agree to do everything. On top of what we need to do, we’re overloaded by what we CHOOSE to do, many times reluctantly. When someone asks you to do/attend something that you don’t want to, politely but firmly decline. They won’t hate you. They won’t think you’re a bad human being. If they do, good riddance to them. This also goes back to the respect thing. When people see you are judicious with your time and how you spend it, their respect for you will increase. They will see you aren’t throwing yourself aimlessly at any and every social call or event that comes your way. A phrase I learned from a very wise woman is, “Ek ‘hain’, sau dookh, ek ‘na’ sau sookh.” Roughly translated this means, “With one yes, a hundred hurts, with one no, a hundred reliefs.” I’m not saying eliminate extracurricular from your life. Just choose wisely and realistically.

I hope this has been helpful. This, by no means, is an exhaustive or complete list. I’m sure there are many more good points that I have failed to cover. I do hope you, dear reader, will comment with your own tips and suggestions!

The inspiration for the title came from one of my counselors at college. I came to the fitness center at school while she was working out. I hadn’t seen her for some time, and I remarked on how much weight she had lost. “Shed,” she corrected me. “Shed. Because if I ‘lost weight’ it means I wanted it found on me to begin with!”

If I have said anything incorrect, it is from my own ignorance and shortcomings, and if I have said anything correct it is from the grace and mercy of Allah (SWT).

By Running Muslimah

Running Muslimah hails from sunny Orlando, FL. You can follow her adventures in fitness at her blog, Running Muslimah: http://runningmuslimah.wordpress.com)

“Wa alaikum assalam – Oh, that’s great Ayesha. InshaAllah I’ll catch up with you later, gotta run.” Jannah made an effort to run before she might break down crying out of stress. Did Ayesha really care how she was feeling or was saying “How are you” a way for Ayesha to express how her day was…? Forget it…

“So, how are you?” Kayfa haaluk, como estás, kaisay hain? These inquisitive words seem sincere, carry the hint of truly caring about someone else and the state of their current life, and sound oh-so-darn-cute! But…is it human nature to want to know about how other human beings are around us, is it an outward expression of our eeman when we greet our Muslim brother or sister this way, or is it just a clichéd custom society’s programmed into us since the day we were born?

It depends. There are some of us who greet each other and then quickly mutter “How are you” as if it were attached to the actual salaam itself. Others amongst us lazily enunciate this phrase with the motives of catching up on the latest gossip. Some of us type it in all of our emails and instant messages without a second thought, perhaps hoping to undermine our selfishness as we type away with, yet, another one of our concerns to the other person. Others in the world think about this phrase with their brothers and sisters in mind, their eyes tearing up as they make du’a for their beloved ummatis. A few use a combination of all of these. So which one of these are we? How can this phrase be a means to better ourselves, communities, lives, Ummah and world?

Of course, humans are very selfish at times, of course culture shapes how we do, like, everything, and of course, we want to be polite. But what about compassion and mercy? They are often the missing ingredient in many affairs. How should we sincerely mean the words “How are you” when we say them?

1. Humble yourself—remember Allah is the Most Merciful and you are in most need of His Mercy. His name Ar-Rahmaan signifies His Mercy towards all of creation through blessings such as food, water, shelter, security – necessities of life. His name Ar-Raheem, however, denotes a special Mercy reserved for the Believers, a special type of compassion.

`Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said: Captives were brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) after a battle. Among them was a woman desperately searching for something. When she laid her eyes on a baby she immediately picked it up, clutched it to her breast and started feeding it. Thereupon, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) asked, “Do you think this woman would throw her child into a fire?” We said, “Never! By Allah!” The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) then said, “Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this woman is to her child.” (Muslim)

Let’s make du’a and show through our actions to Allah, the Exalted, that we want and are in desperate need of this Mercy of His. We can ask ourselves “How are we” or “How are you, <insert-self’s-name>”? Answer: In need of Allah’s mercy. This should humble our hearts, make us more thankful and purify our souls from egotistical versions of “How are you” when we speak to our brothers and sisters. Now, we won’t be speaking to them for convenience, selfish reasons and chit-chat alone, but as human beings united in our quest for Allah’s Mercy, together in fulfilling our purpose: “I have not created jinn or humans except to worship Me.” (Qur’an, 51:56)

2. Listen to others, look at them when you speak and make them feel important…because they are! Human beings are social creatures. We all feel like random specks in the universe at times walking amidst hundreds others on campus, standing behind others in the grocery line, in cubicle-d nameless office space, right? Thus, it would be wise to reaffirm each other’s uniqueness and importance by showing mercy and being there for each other. When you smile, mean it. When you say “how are you” say it with every fiber of concern and mercy in you! And when you listen, give the other the contentment of knowing you are there, you care and you are actually listening. Basically, show the love and mercy! Abu Hurairah narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allah has divided Mercy into one hundred parts. He kept ninety-nine parts with Him and sent down one part to the earth, and because of that one single part, His creatures are merciful to each other, so that even the mare lifts up its hoof away from its foal, lest it should trample it.” (Al-Bukhari)

When the Prophet (peace and blessings me upon him) interacted with people, he’d treat each person like they were the most important person in the world. He was known for his smile and being accessible to people. Today, being personable, accessible and down-to-earth while being truly sincere may be the breath of fresh air our brotherhood and sisterhood needs.

3. Communication is a two way street; if someone asks you “how are you,” tell them the truth. “I’m overjoyed, I’m bored, I wanna cry, I’m tired, I’m stressed, I would like someone to talk to, I need help.” A lot of times it is just assumed that if someone is saying “how are you” they are saying it out of courtesy. But both frames of mind need to be changed—the asker and the asked. If the asker is sincere, the asked will also have an inclination towards sincerity and respond that way. This dialogue may help uncover some of our communities’ deeper hidden problems – we just need honesty and sincerity from both sides to get there!

With humbled hearts reminded of our ultimate purpose, the knowledge that mercy does exist in our world, and with proper communication, our “how are you’s” can go a long way! A simple “how are you” can make it or break it for the psyche and atmosphere of the community, serving as a tool for social change! If we are not bonded together by the glue of brotherhood and eeman, if we don’t make ourselves accessible to each other in our communities through the mercy Allah has given us, our communities – our brothers, our sisters, our children –will continue to suffer in silence.

So let’s use “How are you” as a blessed tool of compassion and mercy. Go say “How are you” to someone today and mean it with all your being!

Photo: Intuitive Healing Center

Tell us about growing up in America as an American Muslimah. How did your experiences define your Muslim identity and your identity as a Muslim woman in particular?

My parents accepted Islam shortly before I was born, so I was born into a Muslim family. However, due to my parents’ backgrounds, most of my family are Christian, including some of my older brothers and sisters who at the time were grown and had lives of their own. Thus, my entire childhood Muslim experience was drastically different from those born into Muslims families that emigrated from predominately Muslim countries. I was very conscious of being “different,” even when I was in the company of my extended family.

However, my being different was most evident at school, where I experienced daily taunting from classmates for the headscarf that I wore and where I even had an elementary school teacher who removed my scarf each day and put it in her drawer saying, “You don’t need this.” She’d then return it to my head at the end of the day (before I went home to my parents).

These experiences, though often painful, had a profound impact on my identity as a Muslim. From these experiences, I knew that Allah had chosen a path for me that was to be drastically different from the great majority of people in the world, and this was a heavy burden for me to carry, especially as a child. However, I didn’t resent that I was different; I actually felt blessed to be Muslim. This was due primarily to my parents’ daily lessons they gave us after Fajr prayer and, of course, the mercy of Allah.

Growing up, I actually felt sorry for those who were not Muslim, particularly my female schoolmates, who were disrespected by the boys they dated and exploited by society through television, movies, and magazines. There were many times I actually could not sleep for the pain I felt for these young women. I wished they had Islam to liberate them from this oppression. However, gender remained a non-issue to me personally until I went to college and was shocked to learn that non-Muslims actually felt sorry for me as a Muslim woman. This was when I began to learn of the misconceptions concerning my religion and how those in the greatest need of liberation saw the means to this liberty—Islam—as the source of oppression itself. I was confounded.

What influenced you to become a writer?

As is true for most writers, writing for me was less a decision than it was a hobby that I’ve always enjoyed. When I was young, I wrote because I was inspired to put my thoughts on paper. I didn’t think much about whether or not I would become a writer, because to me I already was. There was for me but one question: How will you use your skills as a writer?

I remember one day when my father was talking to us all after Fajr, as he did each day, and he read aloud from Baqarah, the second chapter of the Qur’an, where Allah describes the believers as those “…who spend out of what We have provided for them.” This part really touched me, and although I was young, I was certain that the message to me from Allah was this: I have provided you with the gift of the pen, so it is your duty to spend of this gift in My cause.

In hoping to fulfill this amaanah—this trust from Allah—I write Islamic fiction today.

What is the motivation for your books? Are they based on fact or fiction alone, and how do you know so much about the American Muslim demographic?

There is a saying amongst writers that “every stroke of the pen is a confession,” and to a certain extent, I think this is true. However, I do not write autobiographical or biographical accounts because in Islam a Muslim is instructed to protect the privacy and faults of herself and others. Unfortunately, in today’s society, it is commonplace to “tell all” in memoirs, biographies, and interviews, and my prayer is that my writing steers clear of this tendency. At the same time, the spiritual lessons that are incorporated into each of my stories are very autobiographical, though the circumstances surrounding those lessons are purely fiction. I also draw on the spiritual lessons that I learned from my parents, my family, my friends, and the believers Allah has blessed me to meet in my life thus far.

From a practical perspective, my books are all inspired by a desire to clarify the truth of Islam to non-Muslims, and to serve as an inspiration to Muslims.

I don’t view myself as knowing a great deal about the American Muslim demographic; there is so much more I hope to learn. However, the little I do know is taken from my experiences in college, my friendships in multiethnic social circles, my travels to Muslim countries, and my having been both an integral part of a multicultural Muslim community and a teacher at an Islamic school in America.

What are some problems, in your opinion, that Muslim women are facing in today’s world, and what do you think we can do to solve them?

As we know from what Allah has said in the Qur’an and from what His Messenger, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, has said in the Sunnah, all of our problems as Muslims, whether we are male or female, stem for our leaving aspects of the Qur’an and Sunnah according due to our ignorance or desires. Thus, in general, the great majority of the problems that Muslim women are facing are not due to their being innocent victims of an oppressive world, society, or home, although there are definitely those amongst us who are suffering in these unjust conditions.

Nevertheless, the greatest problem Muslim women are facing is that we are suffering from our—and our Muslim brothers’—abandonment of making Islam the central priority in our lives. We too as American women are suffering tremendously from an ideology that has taught us that we are “equal” to men, whereas, in truth, no two humans are equal in the absolute sense. Rather, each human is equal in his or her obligation to fulfill the rights due to their Creator. Our not understanding this simple truth, from the depths of our very hearts and souls, is the greatest point of suffering of Muslim women in the West, I believe— because this suffering is self-inflicted and poses the greatest danger anyone can face—that of sullying the soul.

The only way for us to solve these problems is for us to dedicate our lives to Islam by refocusing our lives and desires to that which is outlined for us in the Qur’an and Sunnah. We must begin by educating ourselves on who Allah is and what He wants from us, while making our five daily prayers the pillars of day; this means we pray every prayer on time (everyday) and with humble concentration as the meaning of each word we recite permeates our very being. In this way, we can change the Muslim ummah, one person at a time.

Who represents Muslimah American converts / reverts? What are some things that the Muslim community can do to help out? Do you have any advice for these sisters?

I don’t know if there is anyone we can point to as the representation of Muslim women converts to Islam, but there are many things we can do to support them. Concerning the Muslim community’s role in this regard, the best insight I’ve heard on this topic was given by Na’ima B. Robert, the author of From My Sisters’ Lips, when she mentioned in an interview that one of the greatest ways we can help Muslim converts is by seeing their reciting of the shahaadah (their testimony of official entry into Islam) as a beginning for them as opposed to an ends for us. So many of us view their conversion to Islam as a time to celebrate, give hugs, and go home. But for these women, it’s just the beginning, and a terrifying one. They are now embarking on one of the greatest trials in life. Many of them will face unsupportive family. They may be kicked out of their homes. We are their only support, so we must fulfill our responsibility before Allah in being there for them—after all the hugs, tears, and congratulations.

Unfortunately, so many well-meaning Muslims rush to marry off these new sisters without taking time to encourage these new sisters to “find themselves.” Our duty is to make sure these sisters, firstly, have their practical needs met, such as a home (if they are no longer welcomed by family) and financial means to remain an active part of a Muslim community. Secondly, we have to make sure their spiritual needs are met—not by giving them the endless list of what is forbidden, but by offering classes that allow them to thoroughly learn the two most important things they will need as Muslims: Tawheed (the Oneness of Allah) and Salaat (the Islamic prayer).

If we make our new sisters’ practical and spiritual needs our priority, we would have given them a wealth of opportunity to capitalize on any personal goals they wish to meet in the future, even marriage one day, with the help of Allah.

My advice to my new Muslim sisters is to hold on to your faith, no matter what, and focus on two things: Tawheed and Salaat. And know yourself and your religion before you allow anyone to define either of these for you.

Tell us more about your books; what audience the books are geared towards and why they are important.

My books are Islamic novels, fiction stories that are based on real-life situations faced by American Muslims. However, they are, in the practical sense, merely novels, making them accessible to avid readers of all religions. Many of my books are used in colleges and universities for study of multicultural literature, and I regularly receive positive feedback from both Muslim and non-Muslims. The most heartwarming feedback is when I hear of someone accepting Islam after reading the books.

In terms of the books’ importance, I do not view my books in particular as important but the genre of Islamic fiction, which is in great need of more writers. It is my prayer that I have been a pioneer in this area and have inspired budding Muslim writers to use their pens to touch the hearts of readers. It is also my prayer that my writing will be a benefit for me and my readers, in this life and the Hereafter.

Umm Zakiyyah is an internationally acclaimed author whose books are a window into the lives of American Muslims. For more information on her and her work, visit www.al-walaa.com

Photo: Candinski

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As I was sitting down for dinner last night with my two kids, I had my laptop on the chair next to me which reminded me of some unfinished work I needed to do, and a book next to me I wanted to finish reading. Hopes of that faded as I glanced at the counter where dishes needed to be washed, the floor which needed to be swept, the laundry in the dryer, lunches that needed to be packed, and thought of the homework my daughter had yet to do.

As I began to eat, I watched my daughter, 6 ½, and son, about to be 5 insha’Allah, immersed in a conversation about a secret world, with little creatures I can’t comprehend, but as they giggled, I found myself smiling. Yes, in between the moments of “sit down/close your mouth/stop slurping/did you say Bismillah” there are these moments at the dinner table where I find myself wondering how Allah blessed me with such sweet faces and laughter in my life. Alhamdulellah.

As I contemplated, I realized that all afternoon since they had been home from school, we hadn’t really connected with each other at all. Sure, I asked about their day, made them a snack, chatted as I cooked dinner, broke up a small argument they had over who’s idea should get played out this afternoon first, but I hadn’t really really connected with them.

I suppose I should backtrack and share the fact that I am on this mission to connect closely with my kids everyday in a way that is more than just talking (though I can’t express how crucial daily dialogue is with your kids.)
I want something more.

In the West, we are taught that eye contact is essential to solid communication. So what about with our children? How could I allow them to see into my eyes, and me into theirs to feel that connection that is made when eyes meet and really look into each other?

So I began to play a game with them a few months ago. We started out with a staring contest! You know, the one you used to play as a kid to see who can stare the longest without breaking away or laughing. It started off really silly. This got us used to looking into each other at all. And then over the weeks I added in more elements. I would ask them “see if you can guess what I’m trying to tell you with my eyes.” My 5 year old at first, didn’t get it. “Mama! Your eyes can’t talk!”

After some time, though, they started to understand. One night I was laying next to my son, and asked him to guess what I was telling him. He laughed, and said he didn’t know. I told him that I was telling him I love him. We continued to talk a bit, and then he interrupted me and said “Mama, your eyes look sad.” I was totally taken aback. I had a smile on my lips, but in truth, I did feel sad for a moment from another thought that had passed through my head. I was shocked. He had looked in my eyes, and read me.

Over the past few months, I realized how it is a habit that has to start with me first to focus on them when they speak, to look in their eyes, even if they keep looking away. I discovered how much time could slip by where I wasn’t really looking into their sweet faces, noticing their eye lashes, the small smile when they have something to share, or how their eyes really shine. In our busy rush of daily routine, so much can be lost. I had really missed focusing on their beautiful eyes like I had when they were infants who would lay in my arms staring up at me with a solid gaze. Our beloved Prophet Muhammad, was known that when others spoke, he would not only listen, but turn his body physically towards them, giving them his full focus not just mentally, but reflecting that with his physiology as well

My children are still small, so nothing is perfected yet. I can say though that if they were the ones looking at me most of the time when speaking, that I am looking back. Whoever made the change, we look at each other more when we speak, and because of that, I feel a much deeper connection with them.

Anas Ibn Maalik , who served the Prophet for ten years in his house said, “He would listen carefully and attentively to questions or requests. He shifted his focus only after the person in need directed it away or the person left his presence. He held on to the hand that greeted him and waited for the other person to withdraw first. He shook the hand of anybody who extended it.” (Abu Nu’aim)

Megan Wyatt resides in Southern California and is originally from Ohio. She is the director of a Sunday school, youth group instructor, Life Coach and workshop leader with DiscoverU

Photo Courtesy: Malika Balqis