Shed Crazy from your Life

It’s a harrowing experience faced by women everywhere: entering a department store fitting room. As our eyes catalog every wrinkle, dimple and pimple, the well rehearsed spiel begins: If only I did more crunches…If only I didn’t eat that chocolate croissant…If only I walked more…If only I didn’t have such a stressful job…If only I had time to work out…

You know what I’m talking about. There’s a pretty good chance it’s a variation of “Eat Less, Move More.”

Across this planet there are scores of Muslim woman trying on pants, shirts, skirts, jilbabs, hijabs, abayas, shalwar kameez, and dresses, to name a few articles of clothing. It is very likely you have been one of these women.

Perhaps you have looked in the mirror with a sort of dejected horror as the pants don’t fit (the infamous Muffin Top comes to mind), the shirts look misshapen, the skirts hang a good two inches off the ground due to your enormous thighs (you are convinced they look like beached whales when you sit, and nothing anyone says will convince you otherwise), the hijabs highlight your double chin quite nicely, (no amount of tugging under the chin will cover it, as scarf is determined to slip back to original location) the abayas and jilbabs which once upon a time slid on effortlessly now catch at alarming points on your hips, and no amount of embroidery on the shalwar kameez will disguise the rolls of fat on your belly.

Perhaps most of this is an exaggeration, but one thing is for sure: Few are the women, Muslim or otherwise, who relish a trip to the fitting room.

Why is this? For Muslim women in the United States, the culture of thinness/fitness/ideal body type resembles the inside of a schizophrenic patient’s brain. Stick-thin models gaze alluringly at us from the glossy covers of magazines, right next to the packages of Ferrero Rocher and Snickers Bars. Shiny, happy THIN people on the telly bite delicately into a Dove chocolate bar, crunch potato chips, nosh on McDonald’s French Fries whilst sucking down carbonated beverages through plastic straws, all with a smile on their faces. The sad reality is that someone somewhere is forlornly eating her way through a package of Dove chocolate bars, or wiping grease stains and crumbs off her fingers as she reaches the bottom of the Doritos bag, or feeling bloated and overstuffed because she just got off from work and gave in to the fast-food drive thru.

We are bombarded by artificiality everyday: pretend women with pretend bodies on billboards, advertisements, television, movies; fake food with fake natural ingredients and fake coloring; empty promises as every diet and exercise machine claims to give us the body we want, the body we deserve to have, the body we CAN have with just 5 payments of $19.95. Limited time offer, don’t delay.

We live in a culture of Satisfaction Now. The amount of choices in any super center chain, for example, is staggering. Hundreds of makeup choices, dozens of toothpastes, breakfast cereals, shampoos, anything you want is available in every color, shape and size.

It’s a war zone out there. And many of us find ourselves ill-equipped to fight. What can we do? I started writing this as an article for Muslim women about shedding weight, but I now dub it, “Shedding Crazy From Your Life.” Weight is simply one symptom of a larger problem.

Some things I’ve learned:

1. Turn television/internet/Facebook OFF.

This right here, ladies, is probably one of the main reasons we’re packing on a few pounds too many. Watching America’s Next Top Model will not make you skinny by osmosis. Regarding the internet, I admit my weakness is Facebook. I log on to check my email and find myself drawn to it like a moth to a flame. Before I know it, half an hour has gone by and all I’ve done is read a few useless emails and found out one of my girlfriends scored as “Hot Hijabi” on the “What Kind of Hijabi are You?” quiz.

We need to lock away that laptop and start living! Which leads me to…

2. Walk.

This is the most beneficial exercise we can do, period. While cross-country skiing may burn a billion more calories per hour than walking, chances are pretty good that in your lifetime, you’re going to walk more than you ski. Especially if you live in Florida. If you aren’t currently engaged in exercise and think walking is too easy, try walking for just half an hour. Believe me, it’s tough, especially if you’re just starting out. Instead of watching television or eating out of boredom, put on some sneakers and hit the pavement. The great thing about walking is you don’t need any special equipment for it. If you don’t feel safe walking in your neighborhood you can go to a mall or a gym. Many parks and middle/high schools have quarter-mile tracks. Get moving, girl, and not only will you feel better, you’ll look better too!

3. If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it.

If you can’t pronounce the ingredients, there’s a pretty good chance you don’t want that stuff in your body. If the ingredient list takes up half the packaging, that is also not good. Food that comes out of the earth is always the best. Try experimenting with cooking your own meals and buying your own produce. The best feeling in the world is knowing exactly what you’re eating, made to your own specifications, and just how beneficial it is to your body. Onions, garlic, ginger, tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplant, squash, carrots, pomegranate, peaches, apples, bananas, lentils, blueberries, strawberries…the list is unending. So many delicious and healthy options that Allah (SWT) made for us! Look up recipes you want to try online or in a cookbook, and ask friends and family for their favorite recipes. Pretty soon anything artificial will taste just that: artificial.

(Another note: stay far, far away from genetically modified/engineered produce. They’ve been given the equivalent of plant steroids. Anytime you see a super huge tomato or banana, the chances are pretty good it’s been genetically altered.)

4. Purge.

I don’t mean the “bent over the toilet, sticking a finger down your throat” purge. I mean the, “Do I really need another purple hijab?” type purge. Our environments are a reflection of ourselves. When we maintain a clean, organized, and clutter-free living space, it helps us feel organized and clutter-free inwardly as well. It’s a positive feedback loop. Donate any clothes, books, or bric-a-brac you aren’t using to a local shelter or among your family and friends. Recycle old scrap paper. Dust off that ceiling fan. The best thing is you’ll find all your missing hijab pins.

5. Read.

There is nothing like living vicariously through the lives of someone on paper. Books and stories transport us to the past, hurtle us into the future, or keep us in the here and now. Books open up whole new worlds for us. We are inspired, shaken, moved, amused, angered, heartbroken. There is nothing else quite like it. Read for fun, read for education, read for knowledge, read for the thrill of it. Just READ!

6. Learn something new.

Now that we’ve put away the computer, what do we do with all this free time that’s suddenly sprung up? Why not start learning Arabic, or memorizing the Quran? Maybe you’ve wanted to learn to knit, or take horseback riding lessons, or learn how to play tennis or go skydiving. Do it, girl! And when you’re done, teach the rest of us!

7. Help someone else.

More often than not, we look to others who have more than us as a barometer for our situation in life. Why not look to those who are not as well off? Try volunteering at a local shelter or Habitat for Humanity, or find out if there are Muslims in your community who need assistance. By helping them, you will truly appreciate how fortunate you are and it will insha Allah change your whole outlook on life.

8. Be grateful.

Give thanks to Allah (SWT) for everything you have. Most of us have all the faculties of seeing, hearing, taste, touch and speech. We have roofs over our heads, food to eat, and a comfortable bed to sleep in. We have educational and vocational opportunities, we have clean water to drink, we have peace of mind when we leave our homes that we will not be shot at or bombed. We have so much to be thankful for, alhamdulillah.

9. Keep yourself busy, and DON’T GIVE UP!

Nothing like idle time to start a pity party. Your daily routine should not allow for time to mope about and feel sorry for yourself. Yes, you’re overweight, yes, that paper is due tonight, and yes, gas is still approaching what you’d like your GPA to look like. The latter you can’t do anything about (except try to drive as little as possible…there’s an idea!) but as for the other options, you CAN change your habits. Don’t give up. With patience and perseverance you can attain your goals. It won’t be easy, but nothing worth doing ever is. When you’re feeling emotional or overwhelmed, instead of reaching for those Goldfish crackers, take a deep breath. Sit down, or lay down. Think about what’s really bothering you. Ask Allah (SWT) for guidance and patience. Catalog the steps you need to take to eliminate or deal with the stressor, and then methodically go about doing it. Don’t hesitate, don’t wait for a better time, don’t procrastinate, jump up and do it!

10. Treat yourself with respect.

“You have probably noticed that the lady of your acquaintance who thinks of herself as a duchess may cause a good many laughs, but usually, in the main, is treated like a duchess–in so far, at least, as her friends know how a duchess should be treated. It is equally true that it is the lady who expects orchids who gets them, while you and I are pinning on a single gardenia.”

Marjorie Hillis may have penned this 73 years ago, but every word still applies today. In order to gain respect, we must act in a way deserving of it! So enough with the self-deprecation, enough with the human garbage disposal act if there is leftover food, enough with thinking we are unworthy of love or appreciation or attention. We ARE worth it. Our bodies and minds are a trust given to us by Allah (SWT) and we should treat ourselves as something precious to be treasured. Let us let only the finest, most wholesome food pass through our lips; engage ourselves in thought-provoking and positive pastimes; avoid vain talk; maintain positive, cheerful attitudes that uplift those around us, and cherish the time that Allah (SWT) has given us on this earth.

11. If you don’t love it, don’t buy it.

Well, MAYBE if I lose a few more pounds/kilograms, this might fit… NO. Just, NO. Stop right there sister. If you don’t positively, absolutely love it, don’t buy it. It’s just that simple. Don’t project into the future, don’t buy clothes that MIGHT look good on you only IF you lose weight, just don’t do it. Buy clothes that fit the body you have now. And if you’ve been holding onto those jeans you fit into in high school or college, be realistic. If you know deep down that you may never fit into them again, give them away. If you think you might fit back into them without your legs looking like sausage links…go for it. Keep a pair or two to celebrate your victory in. But please don’t keep your entire jean collection from way back when. Does anyone really want to see those clothes again?

As for workout clothes, “modest” is not synonymous with “crappy.” You can still workout in modest clothes that look nice and make you feel good about yourself. Many clothing stores have nice loose workout pants and long shirts or hoodies. Check the clearance racks, especially now with the start of summer. You’ll find a lot of nice, long-sleeved shirts and pants. Add a coordinating hijab and you’re good to go!

12. Drink water.

There is nothing more refreshing than a nice, tall glass of cool water on a hot day. Cut down or completely eliminate artificial sodas, juices, and mix drinks. They’re full of sugar and high fructose corn syrup. If you need some sugar have a piece of fruit or mix some lemon/lime juice and honey into water to make a refreshing lemonade or limonade! Keep a bottle of water with you and sip throughout the day. It keeps your body fresh and flushes toxins out of your system. Many times when you think you’re hungry, your body is actually trying to tell you it’s thirsty! So drink up!

13. Learn the power of “No.”

This is a tough lesson to learn. There will always be another event, another party, another fundraiser, baby shower, wedding, halaqa, weekend seminar, online seminar, lunch date, dinner date, breakfast date, brunch date, conference call, and so on and so forth. Learn that you don’t have to attend every single one. “No” is such a simple yet loaded word. We’re so afraid of alienating and offending people we agree to do everything. On top of what we need to do, we’re overloaded by what we CHOOSE to do, many times reluctantly. When someone asks you to do/attend something that you don’t want to, politely but firmly decline. They won’t hate you. They won’t think you’re a bad human being. If they do, good riddance to them. This also goes back to the respect thing. When people see you are judicious with your time and how you spend it, their respect for you will increase. They will see you aren’t throwing yourself aimlessly at any and every social call or event that comes your way. A phrase I learned from a very wise woman is, “Ek ‘hain’, sau dookh, ek ‘na’ sau sookh.” Roughly translated this means, “With one yes, a hundred hurts, with one no, a hundred reliefs.” I’m not saying eliminate extracurricular from your life. Just choose wisely and realistically.

I hope this has been helpful. This, by no means, is an exhaustive or complete list. I’m sure there are many more good points that I have failed to cover. I do hope you, dear reader, will comment with your own tips and suggestions!

The inspiration for the title came from one of my counselors at college. I came to the fitness center at school while she was working out. I hadn’t seen her for some time, and I remarked on how much weight she had lost. “Shed,” she corrected me. “Shed. Because if I ‘lost weight’ it means I wanted it found on me to begin with!”

If I have said anything incorrect, it is from my own ignorance and shortcomings, and if I have said anything correct it is from the grace and mercy of Allah (SWT).

By Running Muslimah

Running Muslimah hails from sunny Orlando, FL. You can follow her adventures in fitness at her blog, Running Muslimah: http://runningmuslimah.wordpress.com)