By Silence Betrayed
February 16, 2009 by Guest Authors
Filed under Women's Rights
“It was dark. Perhaps sometime past midnight. I remember a hand approaching me. It was almost like a customary ritual. Just with the most sickest twist. Flashbacks right now are so hazy, yet the pain is so incredibly harrowing, even now after nearly 14 years. I was forced into silence with a weapon (a gun he used to carry). For the first few months I fought him. But as time went by, I lost the will, the energy to fight him off. But my heart and mind would scream out for help. Where are you mom? I need you! Hide me! protect me from this monster! Where are you?!!
He was much more older, much more stronger and I was a child. It felt like sitting on a carousel that had spun out of control. You ask me how I ever returned to living a normal life? I ask you, what was normal about what happened to me? What was normal about being sexually abused, over and over and over and over until you lose count? If any of that was not normal, how could I ever return to living a normal life? That year has long been buried, somewhere deep beneath. But my life, my life has never been normal.” - From an anonymous victim.
Statistically, 1.3 women are raped per minute in the United States. That amounts to 78 rapes every darn hour. Calculate for yourself how many that is in a day. A sex crime happens every 3 seconds in South Africa. At least 8 rapes are reported in Pakistan daily. These are the “fortunate” victims that at least get to report their abuse. Pakistan is an “Islamic” country where murder is second nature to men who have no morals, no sense of religion, except the trumped up pride in their so-called honor and tribalism. And if families do somehow find out, women are told to hush so as not to defile (yes how ironic!) the family’s reputation. She is to forever abide by the unwritten rule of silence. Imagine how many women, even young girls suffer with this secret that eats away at them, and without a second thought they are forced to take it to their graves, out of fear for their lives? At least here in North America or any other Western country, you can report these incidents without any fear of shame, or exile or being beaten to death by a gang of unruly men. Oh but then again, ofcourse if you do report your abuse, you might either just get really lucky with a good judge in a court of law or you might be subjected to yet another violation of your rights and honor like the fate of this Muslim woman in Toronto, Canada where she was recently asked by the judge to take off her niqaab (face veil) in court during her testimony. What the heck? Lets get the story straight. First, you’re raped. Your honor is violated and then, you’re further violated by the court of law where justice and fairness does not apply to people of color!
So what now? What is the way out for these women?
Only one answer comes to mind: Sharee`ah (Islamic law). Some people might wonder why I would suggest something that currently doesn’t exist. I say the sharee`ah because it was ordained to guarantee a safe society for both men and women. It is there to protect our rights, to insure that the rulings commanded by Allaah and His Prophet (saws) are followed and to punish those who abuse them. But until the sharee`ah is established, I would encourage women to speak out about this injustice. Speak out. I cannnot even fathom how hard it must be for some to break their silence, but you don’t have to live with this for the rest of your lives. If you can’t speak about it in public, talk to a friend. Talk to someone who will lend you a listening ear. Point is, these facts need to come out. Our imaams need to be informed and educated about these vital issues. You hear them talk about anything and everything, from `aqeedah to terrorism issues and even hold 3-day conferences on marriage. If you get lucky, they will throw in a topic or two about violence against women in marriages but sexual abuse is rarely (if ever) brought up. Our scholars need to lift their iron curtains, stop brushing this problem under the rug and do something about it. It is binding upon them to help these victims. Most of all, our generation needs to start voicing their concern. Those muffled voices need to be heard.
Photo Courtsey: DeviantArt
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SubhanAllah , sexual abuse amongst Muslims is probably the least addressed topic out there…by Muslims. Islam values and esteems a Muslimahs honor, and if anyone violates or compromises, we should ready to defend, protect and restore it to her. Thank you for bringing it to the table, Saima.
Sexual abuse is a very serious reality in the muslim world. Lets take Egypt as an example as i have been regularly seeing articles on bbc related to sexual abuse in Egypt. “A study by the Egyptian Center for Women’s Rights showed 83 percent of Egyptian women and 98 percent of foreign women surveyed said they are sexually harassed. Even more startling: 62.4 percent of men surveyed said they harassed women”. Sharia law is indeed the only solution to all the societal problems. There are however other practical financial factors that can reduce the risk of women being sexually abused such as creating jobs to lower unemployment; sponsoring mass weddings to help newly weds with financial costs, lowering bride’s price by the bride’s family etc.
You’re right Sammer. It is the most least addressed topic and I can’t understand why.
Amin, I’m sure I’m missing something here.. please help me understand. When you say “sponsoring mass weddings to help newly weds with financial costs..” how does that reduce the risk of sexual abuse?
I definitely agree with creating jobs to lower the unemployment rate especially in Pakistan and other South Asian countries.
What other practical steps do you guys think can be taken to lower the risk of rape and molestation amongst Muslims?
All I am saying is that men should not remain unmarried because they cant afford wedding expenses. Many times these abuses happen by those who are unmarried and I think once they are married they will stay away from it. And now a days wedding ceremonies require alot of money, so if state or charitable organizations sponsor mass weddings than it will make it easy for new couples to start their new life.
In the bbc article one of the reason why there were so many sexual abuses in Egypt was wedding expenses being too high.
Of course marriage is an important outlet when it comes to restraining sexual desire/channeling it appropriately, but outside of harassment, there’s the wider issue of molestation and rape of minors and other women that occurs not in the street but in homes and other private places, often by relatives or “trusted” friends and acquaintances. There are sick people out there, married and not, and issues like pedophilia, incest, etc. can’t be solved by marriage. General harassment in the streets, while wrong, annoying and violating, doesn’t hold a candle to other forms of abuse that are often ritual/repeated.
In terms of what can be done, I think families need to realize that you shouldn’t trust anyone with your children unnecessarily. There’s no reason for relatives to be spending vast amounts of one-on-one time with little girls and boys. Of course family time is important, but that can just as easily happen in group settings or in public places. And people should be just as vigilant over their young male and female children.
This story rings an all too familiar experience to me. It saddens me that Muslims today brush the topic of sexual abuse under the rug and if they do mention it, its nothing more than 3 minute topic. There lies a problem with that, because many Muslims turn a blind eye to sexual abuse, our sisters are suffering both mentally and physically.
If we dont act proactively to stop theses abuses and bring the perpetrators of these heinous acts to account than the kuffar will use our silence and inaction to criticize Islam . Below is one fine example of how a muslim turns to non muslims to seek justice.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7966086.stm
Series on sexual abuse and molestation on MuslimMatters.org: http://muslimmatters.org/2009/02/16/sex-the-ummah-child-molestation-in-the-muslim-world-myth-or-reality-part-i/
Insha’Allah with the publication and distribution of such articles, which tackle the subject from an Islamic point of view, there will be greater awareness and a stronger campaign against such monstrosity.